Remind others if you have anything else. Remind him that he doesn't know, it seems to remind him to forget.
Jazz, the British 19th century, Jazz, has made this teaching to his son: "Be smart than others, but don't tell people that you are smarter than him." Socrates also warned him in Athens. The disciples: "You only know one thing, you just don't know."
No matter what way you take out someone else's mistakes: a despise eyes, a dissatisfaction, an impatient gesture, it may bring embarrassment. Do you think he will agree with what you pointed out? Never? Because you demonstrate his wisdom and judgment, hit his glory and self-esteem, but also hurt his feelings. He does not change his views, but also counterattack, at this time, even if you move out all Plato or Kant's logic doesn't help.
Never say this. "Look! You will know who is not." This is equal to saying: "I will make you change, I am smarter than you." - This is actually a challenge, you have not started to prove yet. Before the other party's error, he was already prepared. Why add difficulties to yourself?
I know a young New York lawyer. He recently participated in an important case debate; this case involved a lot of money and an important legal issue. In the debate, a Judge of a Supreme Court said to the young lawyer: "Is the maritime law prosecution period is 6 years, right?" The lawyer stunned, see the judge, then said: "No. Fighting, maritime There is no time limit for the law. "
This lawyer said to me: "At that time, the court was immediately silent. It seems that even the temperature has dropped to the ice point. Although I am right, he is wrong; I also refer to it. But he is not there soon Instead, her face is full of fear. Although the law stood in me, I found a big mistake, and I actually pointed out a prestigious and knowledgeable person. "
This lawyer did commit a "correct mistake than others." Why can't I do more? When I pointed out someone wrong?
Remind others if you have anything else. Remind him that it doesn't know that it is reminded him to forget.
If someone said, what you think is wrong, do you say this? "Hey, I have another idea, but maybe it is wrong. I often make a mistake. If I make a mistake, I am willing to get corrective." This will receive a magical effect. No matter what, ask, who will oppose you say "I may not be"?
In fact, that is scientific practice. Once, I went to visit the famous explorer and Scientist Stever. He lived in the Arctic circle for 11 years, he told me that he is doing an experiment. I asked him: "Mr. Steverns, what do you intend to prove from the experiment?" I will never forget his answer, he said: "Scientists will never plan to prove. He only plan to explore the facts."
The place made a wrong lawyer because of the correctness, if he knows Stevensi's thinking method, he will definitely make the judge's attitude towards the degree.
Those of our many people have criticized, prejudice, and many of us have the shortcomings of stubborn, self-contained and embarrassment; generally do not want to change their views on things.
Professor Robinsen said in the book "Under the process of determination":
"People, sometimes naturally change their ideas, but if someone said that he is wrong, he will be annoyed, more stubborn. People, sometimes it will form their own ideas without the basis, but if someone disagree with him Think, then, it will make him wholeheartedly to maintain his thoughts. It is not that the idea itself is very precious, but his self-esteem is threatened ...
Professor Robinson is indeed like this, including I am in myself. Not long ago, I invited an interior designer to arrange some curtains for me. After the bill is sent, I am very shocked: the cost is far more than what I expected. After a few days, a friend came to see me, asked the price of the curtain, I told him, "" What? This is too much! He takes you cheaper! How can you do it? " Did I lose money? Yes, he is telling the truth. However, no one is willing to hear the truth of others to negate his judgment. As a mortal, I started to defend myself. I said: "Good goods have a good price, you can't buy high quality things with cheap prices." The next day, another friend came to visit; he praised those curtains, showing very interest, Say that he is affordable, I hope to arrange this curtain at home; my reaction is completely different. I said: "To be honest, the price is too high, I can't afford it. I regretted these curtains." I even proudly of my own frankness.
It can be seen that if the other party is handled in a blind and good and good, we will also recognize our mistakes. However, if it is difficult to cut into our esophagus, the result is appropriate.
If you still want to know some knowledge about being a human life, control yourself, accelerate the mature personality, you may wish to see the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. He said in autobiography: "I have a rule of a rule. I don't want to be against others. I don't let myself arbitrarily. I don't know how to expose my text or speech on the language. I will never use 'of course', 'Undoubtedly', this term, but use 'I think'. 'I assume' or 'I imagine'. When someone stated that when I didn't agree, I would never refute him, or immediately pointed out His mistake; I will answer when answering, saying that there is no mistake in some conditions and circumstances, but it seems to be slightly different. I will soon see the gain. Where I participated, the talk, the atmosphere Glow
Never. I express my opinion with modest attitude, but it is not only easy to accept, but also reduces the conflict. When I first did it, I did feel difficult, but I have been a habit, maybe, in 50 years, no one has heard that I have been talking too much. This habit makes me the new bill that can be submitted to obtain a compatriot. Although I am not good at the call, I can't talk even more, and the words are also very dull, sometimes I will say anything, but in general, my opinion is also widely supported. "
In fact, Franklin has not proposed any new idea here - this is only an important sign of his mature, tolerance, tolerance, and good.
Let the other party say "Yes"
Let him say "Yes" at the beginning, can make him forget the focus of your disputes, and willing to do what you do.
When you talk to others, don't start with different opinions. Instead, we must start with the agreement between the two parties. Professor Offis said in his "Influencing Human Behavior" book: "When a person said 'no', his personality dignity has been active, asking to stick 'not' not to the end. Afterwards, he may I will feel that this' is not wrong, but he must consider the valuable self-esteem and insist on it.
Therefore, it is a particularly important thing to take a positive attitude toward the other party.
This is a very simple skill! But it is ignored by many people! Many people, the opening is stupidly proposing things that others can't accept, so that others will immediately take an objection, so they can't achieve their goals. Some people have achieved another success in this regard. There is a salesman named Yarisen's company. He spent a lot of hardware sold two engineers to a large factory. He is determined to sell hundreds of engines, so I will find him a few days later. I didn't expect the engineer to say: "Yalisen, your company's engine is too unimagined. Although I need a few hundred, I don't plan to want you."
Yari Sen Snack is shocked, "Why?"
"Your engine is too hot. It can't put it on my hand."
Yarisen knows that it will not be good to argue with him, and another strategy is rushing to use another strategy. He said: "Mr. Smith, I think you are right, the engine is too hot, no one is willing to buy again. The heat of the engine you want should not exceed the standard, is it?"
"Yes." - Yalisen got the first "Yes."
"The provisions of the Electrical Manufacturing Associty are: Designing appropriate engines can be more than 72 degrees higher than the indoor temperature, is it?"
"Yes." - Yalisen has a second "yes."
"Is there more hot in your factory?"
"About 75 degrees."
"So, 72 degrees plus 75 degrees is 147 degrees. The handle is placed under the 147-degree hot water plunger door, I want to be very hot, is it?"
Yariusen got the third "Yes." The following is that he proposes: "So, don't you put your hand on the engine?"
"Well, I think you are not bad." The engineer laughed appreciated. He immediately called the secretary and opened a $ 35,000 order for the next month.
The Chinese have a wisdom of wisdom: "Light servant is far away." They have spent 5,000 years to study humanity; their experience is worthy of us.
If you want your opinion to be agreed by others, you must firmly remember:
Let the other party say "yes".
Always make each other feel important! You know, make yourself become an important person, is the desire of everyone.
I sent a letter in a post office in New York, I found that employees who were hanging letter were impatient for their work. So I secretly said to myself: "Carnegie, you have to make this man like you soon." At the same time, I remind yourself: I want him to like me right away, I must say something about him. And he, what is worth I appreciate? Very lucky, I will find it soon.
When I said to him, I looked at him, I sincerely said to him: Your hair is too beautiful.
He looked up, a bit surprised, and his face revealed a smile that could not cover up. He modestly said: "Where, it is not as good as before." I said to him, this is true, it is like a young man! He is very happy. So, we tried happily. When I left, he said to me is: "Many people ask what secret recipe I use, in fact it is born." I dare to bet, this friend It must be fluttering in the road. I bet, he will definitely tell this thing in detail at night, and will also be detained by the mirror.
I gave this thing to a friend, he asked me: "Why do you want this? What do you want to get from him?"
Yes, what do I want to get?
Don't do anything. If we just got anything from others, then we can't give some sincere praise, then you can't sincerely give others some happy. If you must say what I want to get, tell you, I want to get a priceless thing. This is what I did for him, and he could not return to me; after a long time, there will be a feeling of satisfying in my heart.
You don't have to wait until the Ambassador to the Ambassador or the Chairman of a certain committee is applied to appreciate the philosophy of others. You can send it every day and get the effect you have.
How to do? When is it? Where is it? The answer is: You can do anytime, anywhere.
For example, I am in the hotel, it is the french fried nun, but the female waiter is to be a kangar mud. I said: "Too much trouble, I prefer French fried Talai." She will answer this: "No , Not trouble. "And enjoy the dish of me. Because I have already showed respect and attention to her.
Some polite words are actually valued for others. - "Thank you." "Excuse me." "Trouble you." The soil, you can lubricate the monotonic gears of daily life. Sometimes, sincerely pay attention to others often can't think about it.
James Adamson is a chairman of the New York Super Seat Company. When he learned that the famous George Esman was in order to commemorate his mother, he would want to get these two buildings when he built the Mother's Music School and the Erborn Theater. Order of the seat seat. However, ISman only promised to meet him for five minutes.
"I have never seen such a beautiful office. If I have a such office, I will definitely work." Adamson is trying to talk. He also touched a panel with hands. "Is this not a British oak? Stripes are slightly different from Italy."
"Yes," ISman answered. "This is a friend who has special research on wood for me."
Then, ISman took him to visit the entire office, and introduced the proportions, colors and craftsmanship.
Five minutes? One hour passed, two hours passed, their happy conversation continued. Finally, Adamson finally got it from Estomen. This is natural because Adamson gave Eersman to meet.
In family life, especially pay attention to others. This is more necessary than anywhere. Your wife has a certain advantage - at least you think so, otherwise you will not marry her. But how long has you been in the last time you have since the last sincerely? If you want to get happiness every day, you can't blame your wife's legacy skills. On the contrary, you have to praise her diligence, openly expressing that you are fortunate to have a wife who has exotic beauty and inner beauty. Even if the bovine is like a cowhide, it is not complained in black charcoal. As long as you don't have something to say, you don't have usually do it, you will be secure in the kitchen to reach your ideals to her. - Because you didn't despise her, didn't hurt her self-esteem, but made her feel an important role in the family. If there are more husbands to do this, then there will be no so many couples to march!
