Love is beautiful, a beautiful flowers, filled with a sorcerer; love is ugly, hard to see the rotten wood, exudes an old maniferous taste. Beautiful, ugly, all have passed away, the wind is dry, and there is no trace.
-- Inscription
Freed, I have left human world. Although my flesh has been turned into soil, my soul is still drifting around, I can't rest in peace, so I wrote my story down today. It is a peace of mind to get my soul.
I am the old two in my home. From my loud crying, I came to this time, as if I didn't have a variety of life in the future. When I was half-aged, my mother came to someone to give me a crime, and the mirror said that I was a boy around Guanyin Bodhisattva, because he committed his victory in heaven, so he was deprecated to be atone. I am sick from Xiao, I am sick, don't be so good as big sister, is not as diligent in learning, full of tireless enthusiasm for life. I am always an inexplicable melancholy, I don't love to talk to people, I am used to staying quietly, doing needlework, look at the novels like "Dream Dream". Everyone said that I am a wood, Xiao Lin Daiyu.
When I was 19 years old, I met the person who was destined to have erased in this life. I didn't want to disclose it to others. Because it is a secret of me. In order to narrative, it is called "passer". In the first time, I was in my ancient house, he was tall, the eyebrows, the high nose, the white skin, when his meaning, the deep eyes swept, my face The hole is hot, like a teapot that boys water, hot, I know my love coming.
When I was very small, I often heard the mother said that the girl was splashing out, I went back. Later, I gradually grow up, I often think that I will pour? Who is the basin of the water? I saw the passer, I knew that he was the pot, that belonging to my basin. I have been with the passengers, and I have graduated from the military school. He has a rich knowledge and decent manner. He cares about me, cares for me and teach me to write, read some articles, let me melancholy mood change. a lot of. In the days of passenger accompanying, the sky is blue, and the birds seem to be singing with cheerful songs. I am no longer hurt in the burial flow of 玉, nor is it a sad and depression for life.
In the spring of my second year, we have been married. My wedding is very grand, I am the first girl in this small village sitting on eight big delicate. At that time, the celebration scene was one number of people in the entire village. Maybe because of this, my life is more ups and downs, and it is not a comedy. On the third month after I have been married, suddenly a paper command transfer him to Nanjing. I have passed the night before I left my face and said: "Fi, I will not forget you, because you have branded my heart." I suddenly had a hunch, as if we I have to be born, I hugged him tightly.
The next day, when he walked, he didn't light, I got up to send him to the village, I said: "I will give you a letter, pick you up as soon as possible, don't worry, you have to take care of you. Don't think too much, ok? I only have you happy, I can leave again. "I nodded, I want him to go first, he disagree, finally, I said," We simultaneously turn, don't look back at each other. , Do you have it? "I finished turning around, I went to the village, I walked more than 30 steps, I couldn't help but see the passenger, he didn't move, only looked at me there, tears were silent. When I was loud, I shouted him: "You go, I will take care of this home until you come back." The passengers left me like this, and how can I think that this is still an endo corner? Since then, we have embarked on two completely different non-return. I received his letter from the third week after the passer. He said that the situation is getting tighter, he must go to Taiwan, I want to go to Nanjing a week later, I have this letter, I'm still stupid, what should I do? There is already a child in my belly. Here is my year's dual-pro, my business, how can I bear this? However, I miss the passenger, miss his gentle laugh, miss his warm embrace, this though is like an invisible knife has been inserted into my ribs, so that I have a harmful pain. However, let me leave my hometown, I will leave my mother to a strange place, how can I cut down? Moreover, the mother's body is not good, from the child, she hurts me, look at her pleading eyes, how can I leave peacefully? After a few days, I gave the guest back to the letter, let him go to Taiwan, I will wait for him at home. This is 10 years. I have been 30 years old from 20 years old. During this time, I didn't contact me, but I believe that one day he will come back, so I have been waiting, I have been waiting.
In the winter of the passengers, I have a boy, and he is very much like a passer. I gave him a name called Guhong, I hope that the passenger can come back to reunite with us. Hong Hong was one year old. One night had a cold, and he had a fever, he said nonsense. I am anxious to be Han, I don't know how to do it. In this remote village, where did I go to find a doctor? I can only borrow some antipyretics, let my child take it under. However, in the middle of the night, he has been called: "Mom, Mom, you don't go, you don't go, I will not go." I listened to my heart like a knife, I pitiful Honghong, he has never seen it from birth. Dad, now he has a serious illness again, what should I do? I am weak to the ground, holding the child, praying for God to give me a living road, let my child spend this disaster, I keep calling the guest, I hope he can bless our children, but Hong Hong still goes. When I went, I still grabbed my hand. I finally brought my child's one-year-old child, holding him toward the village head, the village said that the child did not grow up, it could not enter the grave, so I took him to the side of the village, I used my hand to dig a small grave, put my child in, let his face toward the direction of the village, looking at the face of passengers, and hope to live Let's take a look at his son.
The fifth year after Hong Hong, my mood was going to die, and I also returned to my mother. In the past few years, my gods are embarrassed, sometimes the spirit, sometimes the inexplicable fire, mother, she understands me, no matter what I, I don't think with me, but the style of the village begins to hit me, saying that I am Women, is a broom star, etc. I just smiled, I understood the spirit, but my heart is very clear, I have been pointed out in this point, saying that the long way is short, not as good as I left, I left my 11th year, I listened Others' arrangements, casually marriage. I thought I will quietly spend this life, think about the passengers silently, I don't have it. However, who knows that there is a bigger blow to wait for me in the future. I don't remember how to meet him, I don't remember how to get married, I only know that I went to his hometown with him, a poorer than my home. He didn't have a house, we could only live in the cattle house of the neighbor. Later, I learned to blank, finally covering a grass house, ending my borrowing career. Just when I moved into my new home, I accidentally received a letter from the passenger transferred. I didn't have a god in half a day. Is him? Really him? I asked myself over and over again. I mood complicatedly, I want to know his news and be afraid to know, when I saw the familiar call, my tears couldn't stop, he didn't get married. He has been waiting to come back with me, my heart is hollowed out, God, why do you want to tease me and passengers? Why do I have no peace when I first started a new life? I trembled, I went back to my letter, telling him that my life is very good, I want to find someone to forget me, I have finished writing, and I have exhausted my feelings. From then on, I think I will talk to the passengers. Will not contact, no longer, so I cried and burned the letter.
My feelings frozen with this letter, I don't love my husband, he doesn't love me, just need to marry, get married for a few days after he married, find a woman, but what is this? Where is the relationship? I spent a memories every day. Reality is not implicated, whenever I wake up at midnight, I will burn the smoke to the guest, think he will think about him like me? Will he not know what kind of life I am? Later, I have two children, I like them very much, because I think this is the compensation for my stay because Honghong's leave is given to me. My life has finally been hoping, I only hope that these two children can be adults, there is a situation, I gave them a name called Liuke and Si Hong, remembering the most important in my life in my life. People.
When Liu Jing and Si Hong were eight years old, it was catching up with the disaster years. The crops almost did not accept. The whole family had to rely on the wild vegetables. One day, the child is quarreled, I can't do it, but even this I can't find it. Later I found a few clusters of white and tender mushrooms. I took back home. After doing a good job, two children wolf swallowed, I saw that the child was so hungry, I didn't eat it, I gave them. How can I know that this is the first cause of death? In the middle of the night, my child started a stomachache. I then took out the white foam, my whole body spasm, constantly convulsted, I was scared, I am fortunate to the husband, holding the child to the township, but doctors Said that we have come too late, I just looked at my child again, but there is no way, although I am a sinner, damn my son's son, but this time I didn't cry, because I The tears have been drove, for the passengers, for my return, I have no tears, I won't cry, but my hair is all over the night, life is just a empty shell, What else is worth I care? Only dream, only missing can be filled with my memory. I adopted a daughter. After half a year behind my two children, she became the support of me. Just I live 60 years old, in the winter of this year, I am busy like it is often, it is full of dust, but the passengers suddenly appear from the sky, and he made me. The returning returns make my heart, look at him is still tall, still fascinating, how can I face him calmly? We didn't say a word for a long time, what? What can I say? When we finally returned to God, we said that "you, you" doesn't have to say anything, I already know what he is below, he wants to say what is this? How did I change this?
My mental defense is completely collapsed. How many people who come to my day, I want to be in front of me, but I am so embarrassing, I know that my heart is alive, but the ruthless years are already On my face, my eyes deeply branded the knife. How can I erase it? The passenger told me that he did not marry. He always believes in our vows, I believe we will start from the new, but now he knows everything is impossible, because I am not the original, and he is not from him, my old The face makes his dreams, and his love is just the original, instead of now, we love is just a dream, and the dream is always awake, when the passenger leaves after 1 hour, I understand The lifetime of the entangled life between us is here. I didn't tell the guest, we have a child called Gu Hong, because I am in violation of the agreement, so I will punish me like this. After passing the guest, my heart also gone, I think I can meet my three children in heaven, I think I can reunite with them, stay away from the world's harassment, with a unpleasant satisfaction Hit smirk, I closed my eyes with my eyes, and I didn't have a slightest in the world.
