After a while, I lost my heart, I lost my love. I saw a small nest, I also want to have a home. So I met with Xin in the introduction of my colleagues.
Xin, in a state-owned enterprise as a technician. It's a lot, the body is petty, the face is not very good, it looks a little sick. Her pale face often hangs a warm man's smile, which makes me a warmth. I am tired of drifting, just want to have a woman, a woman who has built a family with himself, although this is not related to love. Xin often sits around me, hold my hand, listen to me, very obsessed, and the kind of eyes are full of worship. Since the proud Lenda left, no one has listened to my inner ideas so much, and I have never communicated with people. From morning to night, I have leap over in the laboratory with quantum, and protons these microscopic particles are regularly moved together. Until a year, my doctoral thesis failed, the colleagues in the college saw me, talented and loyal.
My colleague's sister and Xinjia are neighbors. Http://ike.126.com
Only her mother and her mother and her mother are very poverty. The only value in her home is that this is not very big in the bustling market. Just in this less than a big room, I first felt the warmth of my home, I would like to have a woman with my family for a long time for the first time. That is, in this less than a big house, I kissed the red face for the first time. I touched her smooth skin and became the first man in her life.
Those days are the happiest happiest days in my life. Every day, I will go to the unpleasant house after school, and I am baked with a hot pot to eat her. After the meal, hugged her to see the snowfall outside the window.
Shenyang's winter is very cold. One day, I took Xin's hand wandering around Shenyang's street in Shenyang, I watched a lot of happiness for young men and women. I was very happy from it. Looking at people in Xinyi, I can't move.
I am talking about Xin, "Do you want to get married?" Xin Weiyibbit, looking at my eyes, saying. The snow is very big, one piece is falling on the face, on the forehead, and a piece of melting. I will be pleased in your arms and say that we will get married. At that moment, I actually had tears. It is a long-awaited trek. After too much bumpy to the homes? I still want to find a woman to get married, a kind of flat and faint days? I do not know. At that moment, I just wanted to cry. Once upon a time, I was approaching the marriage of the marriage with Lin, but she took away. I met, I got married after my doctor graduated, but now she is lying in a strange country lying on a foreign old man's arms. I married her, and I was also at the door of this wedding registration station. She said very sacred to me. "I must be your wife in this life." That day, snow. Do I love Xin? I do not know. Why is it to marry her? I do not know either. Since promised to marry with Xin, I have been thinking about Lin, I miss her inexplicably. I have been asking myself this question, I love Xin? Why do I marry her? But there is no answer, I just felt that she could give my home.
At night, I saw Xinxiao sleeping in my side, like a child like a child, and smiled happily in my sleep. I sighed, and I went to my eyes. I know that I know less than five months, I can't compare in love for five years, even though Lin is hurting me like that.
If Lin leaves, there is no return, and my life will be flattering. But she is just in my next day after my marriage certificate, I appeared in front of me.
On that day, I am in class, the teacher of the teaching and research room shouted me to say, some people find you. I walked out of the classroom door, turned around, I found Lin stood around me. She is still the same, the temperament is extraordinary, but it is much thinner, and the eyes are melancholy. I said coldly: "Miss, is there anything? Is it a mistake?" Lin looked at me, his lips trembled, tears flashed in his eyes and shook his head and turned. In front of Lin, I have never seemingly powerful and is weak. When she will disappear at the end of the corridor, I chased the past, and I don't know why I will do this now.
She followed me to the dormitory, and he cried. She told me that she left me to Germany, because the German old man can let her go abroad, this is her dream of her life. She doesn't want to give up her dream because of my feelings, she has always been like this.
"I told you, I will pick you up in Germany." Lin did tell me this, but I don't want her to pick me up to Germany in this way. "Now I will pick you up." After that, she put the invitation of the German college on my table. "Now you take it to do your passport, the college will provide you with full scholarship."
In the evening, I called Xin, saying something in the college, not going back. This is my first time I gave a letter. When night, in the collapsed hotel in Lind, I was very happy when I was lingering again with Lin's carcass. After finishing it, I have forgotten it.
I think about the next step: Is it a rich life with Lin Fei to Germany, or stayed in China and Xin's dull days? Lynn has been married with the German old man, and also got a big profit.
I went back to Xin's home next day, I am very happy to hold me. "Where did you go last night, I will give you a few times, you don't pick it up, worry about death." She cooked The dumplings are coming, it is my favorite soy sauce dumplings.
"Xin, I want to talk to you." "Oh, let's talk. I have something to tell you." Xin is very happy and shy. " "I want to go to Germany, there is a college to send me an invitation letter, please go there to learn." I compiled her reason.
"Kang Lier, this is a good thing. Well, can't take a family, I will go." In the eyes of Xin, we are a family. She is also really my legal wife. When I saw it very seriously, she quickly stretched his tongue, saying that it was playing with me.
"Kang, I also have an important thing I want to tell you." Xin face is full of flush. "What?" I asked. "I am pregnant." Xin head, like all happy women, the pale face flew down the red lotus.
"What do you want?" Her words seem to be shocked by me, I am so shocked me, so long, I want to born him, I think there is a child belonging to us. "
"I'm hit, I went to Germany. I didn't know when I can come back. The college stipulates that the marriage cannot go." I told the reason why it has been built. Xin's face suddenly became very pale. "How can I get married?" She asked, the sound was a little trembling.
After that, I didn't talk again, silently dinner, silently picked up the bowl chopsticks, and washed my socks like it, and I was on the heating. Then curled up like a helpless kitten in my arms silently crying.
"Xin, don't be sad, don't I go." I saw the silent crying, my heart is very uncomfortable, trying to comfort her, but I can't find a reason.
"Why? Why can't you go?" He looked up and asked me. "Well, this is like this ..." I continued to collect the reason and arranged lies. "That school does not provide scholarship, um, so I can't go." I lied. "You said, there is no tuition fee there?" "Well." I want to make Xin comfort, let go of the marriage, and then explain it. This may be less than her harm. After getting up the next day, I found that Xin's eyes were red, a little swollen. She didn't sleep overnight.
I told Xin, "I will not come back in two weeks. There is still a lot of things in the college to do it, and I need time." Xin smiled and said, "Okay, you do Your business, let me call you when we do it. "
It is quite fast with the procedure of the wedding marriage. When you come out from the marriage registration, you still have snow. In these few days, Shenyang always snowed. When I turned and went, Xin's tears suddenly flowed again, but she still smiled. Snowflakes fall on her face, falling on the nose, when I want to dile off her, it is melted into water drops. "Let's sit down." She said.
Next to the marriage registration station has a small café, no one, only a few waiters stand at the door. In the cafe, I have a soothing music, I am sitting there, watching coffee, can't find her reason. From the collar marriage certificate to the relief of marriage, just two weeks. Xin is obviously thin, and his face is yellow.
"When did you go to Germany, I will send you." In the first way. "Not necessarily." The visa didn't come down. "At that time flying German tickets have already been bought, just in my trouser bag, I don't want to tell Xin, I am afraid that she knows that I am walking with Lin, it will be more sad. "You go there, life is not familiar, you have to take care of you. When you have something, give me a call." Xin's tears flowed again.
"Well." I should take it, it is a silence. "After you see you, I feel that you will not belong to me. You are a university teacher, or a doctor. I am a factory technician. The trick is too disappeared. But I like you, worship you. Later, you present I got the marriage certificate and I got married. At that time, I would finally be together with you. At that time, I was happy, but now ... "Xin slowly said. "You go, go there for three or four years. I am waiting for you, come back, let's get a marriage certificate, then marry, do you want me?" She asked. I have a bad heart, I nodded. "There is 10,000 dollars here, you take it as a tuition fee." Xin took a bundle of green banknotes from the bag.
"How can you have so much money?" I was surprised. "This is my mother gave me." "Your mother doesn't work, how can you have money?" I asked urgently. " "My dad left, my dad is an engineer." I am very sour in my heart, it is this 10,000 dollars, let me feel heavy. At the time, I went to Germany to have a scholarship, the ticket is Lin to buy, I don't have to spend a little money. Moreover, she found a job there, there is enough money to go to school.
On the side of my love, I love my Xin, I stand in the middle of these two love, let me get around. Love Xin? do not love. She is just a feeling of feelings after I leave me, and make up for the wounds. I want to tell Xin, I don't want to be stupid, I don't love you. But I can't say this, this can only increase her pain, but also gave her a dream, let her comfort yourself with the dream of impossible implementation.
Are you leaving or left? After two days after suffering, I decided to leave Xin. Before going, I would give her money, and tell her the truth, let her not be stupid here, so that she is not convincing.
When I knocked on the small house, a unfamiliar man came out and made me ate. "What about?" I asked. She moved away, she sold the house to us. You can find her alone. "" Where did she move? "I asked anxiously. "Well, it is like moving to the side of them." I asked people in the community next to her factory, "Is there a new move?" There is a girl called Xin. " Finally, in the entrance of the peak in an alley, I saw the mother of Xin. She is undergoing the coal fell, and her cigarette is more cough. Seeing that I came to her very strange, ask me "Kang, are you going to Germany?"
The house is very small, and the window is still not passed, and the wind is still in the wind. "Bo mother, have you moved here?" I asked. "Hey, it is not to give you a tuition, sell the house." "Is the money not left?" "Where is he has money? The Cultural Revolution will make you money?" At the moment, I was sad. " There, my feelings are too bad. When a woman pays all for you, when you love you, you tell her, I don't love you, I love others. So I can't do it.
I was very surprised when I was coming back. I am talking about Xin, "Xin, I don't go to Germany. Let's get married, now I will come." A sentence made Xin's tears "". She is crying in my shoulder.
"Kang, let's go, everything I know, today I saw me. This is what she gives me, you still give her. I don't need money -----." Said Xin from the bag I took out 20,000 US dollars, "Kang, you know that I love you, I don't want money. -------." Xin said for a long time, she is quiet, said, " Kang, I know that you don't love me, just get married, you will leave me, don't be stupid, let's go. Lin is a good girl, you have to be a good thing. " Laughing, but tears flowed down. When the plane left the airport, I overlook Shenyang's night sky, tears, "". Not for another, it is a woman who I don't love, but she loves me ----- Xin.
After I got a year in Germany, I was hired in advance by a research institution. In the second year, I opened a communication equipment company. I was in charge of the technology and she grasped. Due to her excellent organizational and management capabilities, this small communications company sales have risen in the year. In the fourth year, the company has profitable millions. But I am not happy at all, I am always suffering from the cross in my heart. I feel very embarrassed to Xin. I am thinking about her every night? Have she arrived home? Have you love her a man?
In the past six years, when I sent 100,000 US dollars to Xin, I was returned again and again. Recepry, I don't know anyone.
In the past six years, I have been thinking about Xin, is Xinwing? Their factory situation has not been very good. When I left Shenyang, they didn't pay for several months. Xin has no skill, there is no strength, the body is thin and weak, so how can a weak woman survive?
In the past six years, I have been condemning myself. Finally, I mounted the plane of returning to China this year. I ran all over the streets of Shenyang, but I didn't see Xin. Some people say that she went to the field, and some said that after her mother died, she broke down for a living; more people said that she stood on the street became "Miss".
I hate myself, because I have so that she falls. Although I don't love her, she regards me as my spiritual pillar. When she clearly knows that this pillar is taken away by other women, she is still smiling and selling a house to raise tuition for him. When I lost my soul again, I heard a little girl asked, "Uncle, you have to burnish." I am busy with the fur, five cents. "I am busy." Hold her, say, "Where is it?" "Where," the little girl's finger, a thin woman sells buns to the passers-by.
My heart is dramatic, isn't it? When I grabbally grabby her hands, she was a horror. Then, the tears were broken, the beads of the line were continuously falling, and then looked on my shoulders and cried.
"Mom, why are you crying?" The little girl hugged the legs. "Little girl, what is your name? What about your father?" In order to cover your feelings, when you borrow a little girl, I secretly put the tears of the eye.
"Mind Kang, I am called Kang. I don't have Dad, my father went abroad." Ah, this sentence will take my heart again. I know, this life, no one can forgive me, including myself.
