* Real programmers don't write specs - Users shop conceder Themselves at all and take what the the get. The real programmer does not follow the rules, they say to the user: get what you want, then go, you Already very fortunate! * Real programmers don't comment their code. IT Should Be Hard To understand and even harder to modify. The real programmer does not write a comment. It is difficult to understand that it is difficult to write. It is difficult to modify. * Real programmers Don't Write Application Programs; They Program Right Down The Bare Metal. Application Programming is forfebs who can't do systems programming. They love white hands. Only write an application only if you don't understand the weaknesses of the system program. * Real programmers don't Eat Quiche. In Fact, Real Programmers Don't Know How To Spell Quiche. The true programmer does not eat egg rolls. They don't understand the word "quiche (egg roll)" at all disdain. They eat Twinkies and Sichuan cuisine. Note: Twinkies may be some kind of food that is sandwiched with two slices. * Real Programmers Don't Write In Cobol. Cobol is for wiMPLICATIONS Programmers. The real programmer does not have to write a program. COBOL is the use of timidity. * Real program 'programs Never Work Right The First Time. But if you throw The first the machine The can be patched Into Working in "Only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions. The real programmer always loves to stay. Only when he threw him back to the computer, he would be willing to bow. They only need to debug programs several times, but it takes 30 hours each time. * Real programmers don't write in fortran. Fortran Is for Pipe Stress Freaks and crystallography weenies. The real programmer does not have to write programs. Fortran is used by science weird. * Real programmers Never Work 9 To 5. IF Any Real Programmers Are Around AT 9 AM, IT'S BECAUSE The WERE UP All Night. The real programmer is not nine nights. If you see a programmer like blind in the morning, it is because he works all night. * Real programmers don't write in Basic. Actually, No Program Write in Basic, After the age of 12. The real programmer is never in Basic.
If you are only twelve years old, you only use, are you really twelve? ! ! * Real programmers don't write in pl / i. Pl / i is for programmers who can't Decide WHETER TO WRITE IN CON COBOL or FORTRAN. The real programmer does not have to use PL / I. If you are hesitant to use COBOL or in Fortran, then you simply make a thorough fashion - use PL / I! * Real Programmers do not play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room. The real programmer does not play the movement of the replacement, such as tennis. Mountaineering is the best, they always wear hiking shoes when they work, and they feel that there will be a mountain in the middle of the machine room, then they can easily climb up. * Real programmers don't document. Documentation is for simps who can't read the listings or the object decker. The real programmer does not write a document. The document is preparing for the stupid people who don't understand the source, and they don't like stupid. * Real programmers don't write in blue, or ada, or any of those pinko computer science languages. Strong Typing is for people. The real programmer does not have to use the BLISS, ADA's infant language. People who have poor memory like to knock on the keyboard, and the real programmers have a good memory. * Real Programmers only write specs for languages that might run on future hardware. Noboby trusts them to write specs for anything homo sapiens will ever be able to fit on a single planet. Real Programmers only write standards for the future of the language used on the machine . Ghosts will believe which planet will use their standards. * Real programmers spend 70 /% of their work day fiddling arround and the get more done in the other 30 /% Than a user could get done in a week. The real programmer spends 70% of the time that is not born, then use the remaining time Complete someone else will work for a week. * Real programmers area surprised when odometer in their Cars Don't Turn from 99999 to 9999a. The real programmer is very surprising to jump from 9999a from the 99999.
* Real programmers area concerned; the aesthetics of their craft; The Aesthethe in Pain At Shabby Workmanship In a Piece of Code. The real programmer is very concerned about the artistic properties of the code they write. A small piece of foot will make them sleep uneasy. * Real programmers will defend to the death the Virtues of a certin pie in peripheral equipment, especially their lifeline, The Terminal. The Terminal. The true programmer will defend their lifeline-network. * Real programmers never use hard copy terminals, They never us 9600 baud, Then Never Use a Terminal At Less Than ITS Maximum Practical Speed. The real programmer never uses slow modem. They don't have to be less than 9600 bps, in fact, they do not have any of the MODEMs below the limit speed. * Real programmers think the know the answers to your problem, and will happily tell the you rather Than Answer Your Questions. The real programmer knows what you have encountered, they will not wait for you to ask. * Real Programmers Never Program in Cobol, Money Is No Object. The real programmer does not use COBOL programming, money such as manifier. Note: I don't know how cloud! * Real Programmers Never Right Justify Text That Will Be Read On A Fixed-Character-Width Medium. The real programmer is written by text. * Real programmers Wear Hiking Boots Only When It's Much Too Cold To Wear Sandals. When It's Only Too Cold, Their Socks with Their Sandals. The real programmer loves to wear sandals, even if the weather is getting cold, they are just put on the socks. . They will only replace their running shoes when only cold winds. * Real programmers don't think what the should get paid at all for their work, but the know That the They're Worth Every Penny That They Do Make. The real programmer is not extravagant to get the money every minute, but Any money to get your hand is well-deserved. * Real programmers log in first Thing in The Morning, Last Thing Before The Go To Sleep, and Stay Logged in For Lots of Time IN Between. The real programmer only needs to record the first thing to get up and before the sleep. One thing, everything between the template.
* Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts Are After All, The IlleRate's form of documentation. The real programmer is not painted. The flowchart is a literary document. * Real programmers don't use macs. Computers Which Draw Cute Little Pictures Are For WIMPS. The real programmer does not have to use the MAC machine. The computer that draws a cute cartoon is used to give the ghost. * Real programmers don't read manuals. Reliance ON A Reference is The Hallmark of a Novice and a coward. The truly programmer does not look at the guide. Only beginners and courage will believe in the manual. * Real programmers don't write in cobol. Cobol is for gum cheingsing twits Who maintain ancient payroll program. The real programmer does not have to COBOL. COBOL can only be used to maintain an ancient wage. * Real programmers don't write in fortran. Fortran Is for WIMPY ENGINEERS WHO Wear White Socks. The Get Excited Over Finite State Analysis and Nuclear Reactor Simulations. The real programmer does not write the Fortran program. Fortran is the use of a white-collar engineer. Those people are only a limited state analysis and nuclear reactor simulation. * Real Programmers Don't Write In Modula-2. ModuL-2 Is for Insecure AnalyternTives Who Can't Choose Between Pascal and Cobol. The real programmer does not have to programmatically programmed. ModuL-2 combines the disadvantages of Pascal and COBOL. * Real programmers don't write in APL, Unless The Whole Program. The real programmer does not write APL programs unless he can write a program in a line. * Real programmers don't write in lisp. Only Effeminate Programmers Use More Parenthese Than Actual Code. The real programmer does not have to program it. Only a woman's programs will use the parentheses than the code. * Real Programmers distain structured programming. Structured programming is for compulsive neurotics who were prematurely toilet trained. They wear neckties and carefully line up sharp pencils on an otherwise clear desk. Real Programmers disdain structured programming. Structured programming is to make it prematurely training how to go to the toilet patients. Those people should make a tie before working, and then carefully cut a pencil on another desk. * Real Programmers Scorn Floating Point Arithmetic. The Decimal Point Was Invented for Pansy Bedwetters Who Are Unable to Think Big. The real programmer despise the floating point operation.
