The oldest occupation
One day, a doctor, an engineer and a computer scientist sitting together to discuss which one is the oldest occupation. The doctor said: "God has made Eve with the ribs of Adam, and then there is human beings. This is obviously a surgery, so doctor is the oldest career in the world." Engineers also quoted the examples of the Bible: "God makes the world From the original chaotic state, this is an unprecedented, greatest, most complicated project. "Just when they argue, he only listened to computer scientists and smiled coldly and said," Do you know who the chaotic disorder of the world Is it caused? "
Computer Devil Dictionary
Keyboard 1] Like some people, there is no power that does not work without pressure. 2] Where is oppressed, there is resistance. Mouse 1] A unlucky mouse, I don't know what to make in my life, the tail is to be On the computer, you have to put it. Display 1] A large trash can, some people always don't worry about picking up, looking for something they like. (Like me)
Printer 1] When I pull the stomach, I will give it a paper. Weird is that people are holding those things that are diarrhea "sewage seasity", ecstasy. Silly Hat! Hard disk 1] a full-style dish, color, fragrance, A large platter with good flesh. Disk 1] The annual wheels of the trees record the vast lapse of the years; the wisdom of the wisdom records the footsteps of human growth. Horizontal chassis 1] self-fulfilling ruling, even the Taishan tablet scanner 1] It is simply a vacuum cleaner, " Garbage is not thrown into the display .ups1] A show that I always like to show off in the power outage. CPU1] Have the same troubles and humans, the house has been so big, but more and more anti-virus software 1] fly to shoot viruses 1] Flying into the fly programs 1] Tell you a secret: The computer is actually stupid, what is going to teach it in my step. Hamka 1] Some foreign languages have not learned a good guy, the result is only Make more people don't learn foreign languages.
Software version number new solution
When you run the software, you will notice its version number, don't underestimate this simple version code, it contains many information, the following explanation is the true meaning of these code: 1.0 version: This is almost unable to launch the beta version, But we must release it because the laboratory partners are exhausted, and the release date is in the eyes, and colleagues in the market will have no longer. 1.1 version: We have amended all fatal mistakes ... 2.0 version: Have a enthusiastic person found a new mistake, because the error was corrected, so change the version number. 2.1: Sorry, don't be surprised, only some of the problem of printing errors will never cause any trouble. 3.0: I think we finally make this software perfect, most customers think they use their hands. Version 4.0: The function is rich! But the software is doubled, that is, you need to pay more money, you need a faster processor. 4.1: We swear: Only 1 - 2 small mistakes ... 6.0: Although already Some people are discussing a scrap plan, but after joining cute Demo, we are trying to extend its life and strive to sell more software.
These girls can't catch up with
The Chinese family can't catch up: a guy who gangs all day to watch romantic love;
The girls in the English Department can't catch up: Do you want your child to receive foreign slaves before birth?
The girls in the political and legal department can't catch up: you must say that the divorce property.
The school students can't catch up: They are the conspiracy tricks of the past day to the evening. Can you calculate her?
The girls in mathematics can't catch up: every day, one day, one day, has become a fool;
The school girl is particularly packed: see the speed of the computer;
Physics's girls can't catch up: I heard that the toilet pick up the wire and killing people, it is the people of the physics.
The biotherma girls can't catch up: the eyes of the veins look at your more than 200 bones and more than 600 muscles
The female girls can't catch up: they see you will imagine the model of naked naked
The girl in the chemistry can't catch up: When you break up, sulfuric acid makes you disfigure! The girls at the management department can't catch up: If you don't want to be a hood, don't touch them!
The students of the Medicine can't catch up: in her eyes, you will always be an East Asia, it is a virus!
The female girls can't catch up: she will squeeze every penny on your body.
The girls in the sports department can't catch up: Be careful to come to meat! !
The school girls can't catch up: If you don't want to make idols
Modem is more advantages over women
You don't need you to bear any obligations when using MODEM. Want MODEM service from you only need to type "AT". If you go home late, Modem will never have any complaints. If you decide to abandon it, Modem will not support you. Modem is often patient about waiting. If you take a night before your computer, it will never be finished. If there is a faster MODEM, MODEM will not prevent you from happiness. Modem never calls another Modem. You don't have to take it to the hospital when MODEM problems. You don't have to go home with MODEM to see parents. If an error occurs, you don't have to worry, just choose Abort, Retry or Fail. Modem is absolutely active in accordance with the instruction. Modem has a volume control button, you can turn it off, don't have to use cotton to plug your ears.
Architect's story
When building Bill Gates, there is an architect that secretly uses the MAC machine because it is not used to using the Windows designed environment, and only one day is discovered by Bill Gates. Angry Bill Gates fired him. When the architect appeared in heaven, I saw St. Peter to sit at the door of the paradise. The architect war went to St. Peter. "I know that you are suffering from Bill Gates. From now, you can don't worry, here is paradise. Everything will be better." St. Peter turned over and said. The poor architect still said: "That's great, but can you guarantee that Bill Gates really will not appear again?" St. Peter smiled gently: "I promise." Suddenly, in the pearl The face of Bill Gates has emerged after the door of the paradise. Architects have been shocked: "You see! You say he will not appear again, but he ... he ..." St. Peter turned to see it. "Ah, that is God, he is old to be BILL GATES."
God is like a programmer
If you are a programmer, it will handle important technical issues like this: Q: Can God control everything happening in my life? A: Of course, the condition is that he has a debug debugger. But a step-by-step test is too boring. Q: Where will I stay after I die? A: Backup tape. Q: Do I have after? A: If there is a special need, God will make you reborn. He will work hard to find a backup file, but in the end he found that the tape could not be found. Q: How do I protect myself now? A: Monthly change Password, be careful not to make a password with your name, word or your birthday. Q: Many people say they heard the voice of God, is this true? A: They are even more like I have received E-mail. Q: Many people say that God is love. A: This is not a problem, please repeat your questions and choose: Abort, Retry, Fail.
