#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#define install = HARD
Char make_prog_look_big [1600000]; / * Make the program look large * /
void main ()
{
While (! crashed) {/ * If not crash * /
Display_copyright_message (); / * Display copyright information * /
Display_bill_rules_Message (); / * Show information about Bill's rules * /
Do_nothing_loop (); / * Conduct air loop * /
IF (first_time_installation) {/ * If it is the first installation * /
Make_50_megabyte_swapfile (); / * Create a 50M exchange file * /
Do_nothing_loop (); / * Conduct air loop * /
TOTALLY_SCREW_UP_HPFS_FILE_SYSTEM (); / * Exactly mess with the HPFS file system * /
Search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS / 2 (); / * Search and delete all residual information of OS / 2 * /
HANG_SYSTEM (); / * Suspension System * /
}
Write_something (anything); / * Write some information * /
Display_copyright_message (); / * Display copyright information * /
Do_nothing_loop (); / * Conduct air loop * /
Do_SOME_STUFF ();
IF (STILL_NOT_CRASHED) {/ * If there is still no crash * /
Display_copyright_message (); / * Display copyright information * /
Do_nothing_loop (); / * Conduct air loop * /
Basically_Run_Windows_3.1 (); / * Basically run Windows 3.1 * /
Do_nothing_loop (); / * Conduct air loop * /
Do_nothing_loop (); / * Conduct air loop * /
}
}
IF (detect_cache ()) / * If a cache is detected * /
Disable_cache (); / * makes the cache fail * /
IF (fast_cpu ()) {/ * If the CPU is very fast * /
SET_WAIT_STATES (LOTS); / * Setting Waiting Status * /
SET_MOUSE (speed, very_slow); / * Set the mouse (slow speed) * /
SET_MOUSE (Action, Jumpy); / * Set the mouse (action jump) * /
SET_MOUSE (Reaction, Sometimes); / * Set the mouse (sometimes react) * /
}
/ * Printf ("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); * /
/ * Printf ("Welcome to Windows 95"); * /
Printf ("Welcome To Windows 98"); / * Output "Welcome to Windows 98" * /
IF (system_ok ()) / * If the system is normal * /
Crash (TO_DOS_PROMPT); / * Crash (to DOS prompt) * /
Else
System_Memory = Open ("A: /SWP0001.SWP", O_CREATE);
/ * Otherwise, open A: /SWP0001.SWP as system memory * /
While (something) {
Sleep (5); / * Sleep 5 seconds * /
GET_USER_INPUT (); / * Receive user input * / sleep (5); / * Sleep 5 seconds * /
ACT_ON_USER_INPUT (); / * Enter the response to the user * /
Sleep (5); / * Sleep 5 seconds * /
}
CREATE_GENERAL_PROTECTION_FAULT (); / * Generate a general protection error * /
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A netizen's spoof, huh, huh.
Excerpted from: http://bbs.51soft.com/viewthread.php? TID = 249811
