Http://www.sina.com.cn February 23, 2004 17:46 Book 摘 [United States] David Burns / Li Anlong / translated me hopes that you try "mediocrity". Is the prospects boring boring? Well - I hope that you will try to try one day. Are you willing to accept this experience? If you like, I estimate that two things will happen. First of all, as a "mediocrity" person, you don't have to succeed. Second, although you still get quite satisfied from what you do. And it is more satisfied than usual. And if you have been so "mediocre", I believe that your satisfaction will become
Growth, and eventually will be full of joy. There are two elements to enlightenment. The door is labeled "perfect" on the door, and the other door is marked "mediocrity". "Perfect" gorgeous, fantasy, full of temptation. It attracts you, you really want to enter this door. The door of "mediocre" looks tones. Hey! Who wants to enter this door? So you try to enter the door of "Perfect", but you touched your head. On the other hand, in the door of "mediocre", there is a wonderful garden. But you may never open this door to see it. But if you only have to enter the door of "mediocrity" in your life. You will be very surprised! Let me explain the reason. "Perfect" is the ultimate fantasy of people. It does not exist in the universe. There is no "perfect" such a thing. It is just the biggest opposition game in the world; it is rich in prosperous, but it is painful. The more you strive to be perfect, the more you fall into disappointment. Because it is just an abstract concept that cannot correspond to reality. If you look at things at very picky and cautious eyes, you can improve anything - everyone, every concept, every picture, every experience, everything. So, if you are a perfectionist, then you are a loser whether you do it. "Mediocre" is another kind of fantasy, it is a kind of deception, a useful construction. It is like a coin machine, putting your dollar into 50 copies. Regardless of which level, it makes you rich. If you are willing to detect this, we have a strange assumption, then we started light. These methods are used. You don't have to be afraid of anything, nothing, because the effect is not reversible. 1. Dare to target the average. Like many people, you may believe: "If you don't stick to the perfectism, I don't have anything." I dare to bet, you will never confirm this fake, because you have this The lack of belief is a habit of consciousness, which will never ask questions. Have you ever thought that even if you don't have a perfect belief, you may also be as successful as you have perfectism! Here is an experiment that you can understand this truth. Change your standard in different activities, you can see what high standards are like, what is the standard, and what is the low standard. I have done it myself in writing, psychotherapy, and running. In all cases, I have been surprised to find that I can not only do better after reducing the standard, but also do more effective. For example, in January 1979, I started to run in the first time. I live in the mountains. When I started, I have to stop every two hundred yards, because there is a mountain in any direction in the road. I have set a goal every day, and I have to run some far more than the day. As a result, I always make the task easily. This makes me feel very comfortable and motivate me to continue - every step is more important than the previous task. After a few months, I can run a seven kilometers along the steep mountain road along the steep walk. I have never given up a basic principle - try to get more than yesterday. Because of this principle, I have never been frustrated or disappointed in running. There are several times, because of illness or fatigue, I don't run away from afar. For example, today I actually run a quarter kilometers, because I have a cold, my lung said not to run too far! So I said to myself: "This is the farthest I can run. "I feel very good, because I have completed my goal. You may wish to try this. Choose any event, don't be a 100%, but try to complete 80%, 60% or 40%. Then take a look at how much you have to enjoy this event, how big your results are. We must dare to target average. This requires courage, but you may be very surprised to yourself! 2. Another way to overcome the perfectionism is to be responsible for your life, strictly define your event time.
This helps you change your ideas, you can focus on life and enjoy life. If you are a perfectionist, you may be an due to a follower, because you always want to make things very thorough. Keeping a happy secret is to set a moderate goal to complete it. If you are willing to suffer, then you should uphold your perfectionism and delayed attitude. If you want to change, then you should plan to spend everything. No matter if you are done, as long as you can, you will take it right away, then start another job. If you are playing the piano, either a few hours a day, or not, then you may wish to try only one hour a day. I believe that your satisfaction will increase, and the effect will improve. 3. I have dare to fight you afraid to make mistakes. What is wrong? If you are wrong, is it wrong? Is the end of the world come? Let me see someone who can't bear the wrong, then let you see the people who are afraid to take risks and give up the possible people. A very useful way to defeat perfection is to learn to make mistakes. I will teach you how to do it. You can write an article to tell why do you try to perfect and fear that it is non-rational and self-destructive. The following article is written by students: why you can make mistakes? 1. I am afraid to make mistakes, because I am using an absolute, perfectionist attitude to see things - once it is wrong. This view is wrong. A small mistake is certainly impossible to destroy the whole. 2. It is good to make mistakes, because so, we can learn - in fact, if we don't make mistakes, we can't learn. No one can avoid making mistakes - and because the error often occurs, we have to accept it and learn from it. 3. Meet our mistakes help us adjust our behavior, so we can get our more satisfactory results - so we say that mistakes eventually make us more happiness, making things more beautiful. 4. If we are afraid to make mistakes, we will paralyze - we are afraid to do things, afraid to try things, because we may be (in fact likely) will make mistakes. If we limit our actions to avoid mistakes, then we do to defeat our own. The more effort, the more you will make mistakes, then we will learn faster, and eventually it will be happier. 5. Most people will not be crazy because of our mistakes or don't like us - they have also mistaken, most people don't like "perfect". 6. If we make mistakes, we will not die. Although such an article does not guarantee that you change, it also helps you take a correct orientation. Janed report that she has greatly improved after she wrote this short term. She found that it is more beneficial to pay attention to the learning process in learning. Subsequently, her anxiety began to reduce, and her ability to do things began to enhance. This relaxed self-confidence has continued to expires the final exam - most of the students are extremely tense this time. She explained: "I realize that I will be perfect. I will often make mistakes. What is it? I can learn from the mistake, so there is nothing to worry." She is right. " Give you your own memo along this money. Remind yourself, if you make mistakes, the world will not end, and point out the potential benefits of the wrong. Then read this memo every morning in the next two weeks. I believe this is very helpful to be a real person! 4. In your perfectionism, there is no doubt that you will pay attention to the shortcomings you think. You will have a bad habit, always pay attention to what you have not done, and Ignore what you have done. You waste your life in the mistakes and shortcomings. No wonder you feel that you have a lack! Some people force you to do this? Do you like to feel life in this way? Lowering is a simple way to reverse this ridiculous pain. Use your watch to write down your right thing to do every day. See how many points you can accumulate. This seems to be very unwise, you will think that this is not helpful to you. However, you may wish to do the experiment of last two weeks. I estimate that you will find that you start more attention to the active face in your life, and there is a good feeling of yourself.
