One
I am not a naturally narrative embryo, and the editor I have touched is too messy. In fact, I am a head.
Mental animal.
The decade I want to describe, like a bowling bonsai, the leaves, the headache.
In the end, I chose to start from my head, so I can avoid what I miss in the narrative process, this brutal ten
Year, this crazy ten years, there is nothing to be ignored.
two
In 1994, I was sixteen years old, and the lip red and white, and the fantasy was favored.
Li Xiao is sixteen years old, a single eyeliner, and the slender finger is thin.
He added three days since 3 months of me.
Direct book saying that women are more than three years than men, or for three months, they are destined to entanglement. This is the sentence I saw ten years later.
Horrify.
Li Xiao is a typical nerd, silent, and is slow, and it is cold. After that, I didn't see a man.
An appearance can be described cold with ice.
He is my desk, my desk is behind the wall, put the window, every time I will wait, I have to wait for Li Xiaoyan to leave the seat.
Bit, I can go out, he is big, I can't help him from him behind him, this is my hard to say
hidden. The 16-year-old girl is unwilling to have any body contact with irrelevant heterogeneity.
The biamon is a boy who does not love sports, in addition to going to the toilet and class, he is writing painting on the desk, he
The persistence of the math problem of the math of the math, the K 畎 懊 诳 湎 湎 濉 濉 濉 濉 濉 游戏 嵋 嵋 嵋 湎 衅 衅 衅 衅 衅 湎 嵋 湎 湎 衅 湎 衅 衅 衅I am embarrassed, and Li Xiao, I said that you let me go out, I will take a classmate of the next door.
Going to go in the hallway, sometimes talking with other students through the window railings through the window railings.
Because it is the same table, almost all activities are a group of me and Li Xiaojun, which is extremely angry with my sixteen year old.
Li Xiaoge's hand is like a little girl's hand, the labor class can't be a boy, when cleaning, often I sweeping
In six groups, he swept 2 groups. At that time, I swear, be sure to give me a seat.
At that time, the boy girl could not talk more, otherwise there was a late fall dance.
I haven't rumored and Li Xiao. Because we are very talking.
I can't afford his sweetness.
He can't understand my feelings.
In the first year of high school, what we said is: Li Xiao, let it. He will hold a chess piece
Speak: Well, good.
When I am extremely boring, I will also see their play. I will not understand when I don't understand, I will say anything:
Get angry? Why can't I go straight?
Li Xiaoxiao's opponent, I am mentally, I turned over white eyes: I don't understand it, can you ask?
Li Xiao is always very patiently explained. Gradually understand that the original chess is so fun.
Gradually, Li Xiaoxiao's opponent is replaced with me, and the ringtone under the course is ringing, and Li Xiao is touched from the desk.
Say: kill a plate.
I was at that time that the fans of chess have arrived at the point of walking into the magic.
In my memory, high school three years, about one year, I am competing for a sustaining and Li Xiaojun. The rise of a story is unambiguous, I and Li Xiao, the age of sixteen, have a pure dream, he wants to become an international image
Master Chess, I want to be a well-known writer.
Our hobbies have not been intellisted, and in the end, I was dragged into his world, fans chess, and the literary dream was thrown into nine.
In the cloud, this caused the difficulties I narrative today.
I didn't ask the teacher to change the seat. I and Li Xiao Gun's desktop relationship have been maintained for two years. Our class teacher is a stay.
The old man of the board, he actually did not adjust my seat for two years.
I and Li Xiao, still there is no rumor - it is impossible. Because it is necessary to compete for the next game, let me me in lunch and cleaning health every day, if we cut down together
Born, wait until giving a meal must queue, so I finally agreed with Li Xiaoxiao, and the rice hit him, I even put all the food tickets.
Give him to him, let him allocate me. And I am responsible for cleaning the daily day, even writing homework, I practicing a good word, and
Imitate the fonts of Li Xiao's font to the fake real point.
It takes only 15 minutes to complete their work, and then start to shoot.
At that time, it seems that it will never be tired.
The story is often not expected to go. Just like me and Li Xiao, pure chess friend relationship, but also rumored
Couple.
Who let Li Xiaoyabe on my lunch box? Who let me have the same homework with Li Xiao? Who let us head touch
Is it a noon?
When I was called by the teacher, I didn't think about it.
I stared at the tip of the feet, listening to the heart of the teacher, listening to Li Xiao's face, the neck and the teacher argued, dizzy, feel
Everything around you is rotating, there is a feeling.
Until the teacher waved: Ok, let's go.
I took out the teaching office and quietly silently, and the pace was stable, and the mood was transparent.
At the corner, Li Xiao smiled and he said: It's so good. Is this a peach news?
He is backlit in the seventeen year of his face. I just had a distance from him, and I look at him slightly. He also looked at him.
I, smile and laugh, my face begins to be stiff.
My heart is jumping, on the quiet stairs at noon, he stepped down, gently pinch my fingertips: You are so good
,I just like you.
I ran on my deer.
That year, that day, the sunshine, fixed in my life.
three
The first year of the university, I was missing to get into the shape.
The person I love, in the distant Guangzhou, we have two hundred and eighty-two pieces from the twenty-hour drive.
ticket.
I agree with Li Xiao, I saw a face for two months, I started from Wuhan on Friday night, I went to Guangzhou on Saturday morning, then Zhou
Back to school at night, I arrived at the school in Monday morning. Next time, you will come over from Guangzhou and then go back. Such
Come back, we ran nearly ten times in two years. In the end, we can call in crowded dirty compartments in the past two years.
Hyper sleep.
Last year, I looked at "Zhou Yu's train" last year. I looked at it and watched me amazed.
I know that I have been so like this, I'm going back and forth, the happiness of happiness.
When we can't finish it, it seems to show each cell to his school. I live in him.
In the dormitory of the female classmate, he went to my school and lived in the dormitory of my male classmate. In order to make my classmates
One point, we don't know how much smiles have been paid, and how many things have been done for others.
In the summer vacation in 1998, I didn't go home, and two people made a family to make money to change more.
My birthday is August 8th, I found a job in that day, almost all forgot this.
One day before birth, I received a draft fee, the number is not small, almost maintaining my three months of living. I am excited
Extremely. I decided not to tell Li Xiao, killing directly to Guangzhou a surprise.
On August 7th, I bought a ticket, I dialed the average dormitory phone before I got on the bus. I heard him fed, I hanged. Determine him, just.
All the way, I am thinking, I am standing in his dormitory in a big morning, what is his expression?
And I don't know, when I was in a train with me, I also rely on the window, thinking about giving me a surprise.
.
I don't know where the moment we bother, which is on the distance. But if you see that you have seen two young gods.
Leaning on the window, holding a happiness, that is the 19-year-old Li Xiao, a big girlfriend, Shen Yao, a three-month girlfriend.
This is our second time.
When I arrived in the average dormitory, I was informally to find me, I sat on the ground, I want to cry without tears.
I went to convey the room to my dormitory, no one answered, there was no one in the summer in summer. I will not stop.
hit.
I finally finally came to an impatient voice, I am so good to know, I asked her, there is anyone in this morning.
Looking for me, she said no, then I heard that Li Xiaoxue asked her about her voice, he asked: Classmates, you know Shen
Where is Yao going?
My classmates laughed over there: **, the movie is not so clever! You are waiting, your boyfriend is here.
Li Xiaojun just fed, I cried. Uncle conveyors quickly gave me a paper towel, I said that I am all my book.
Come want to surprise you, how do you go to Wuhan? He said that today is your birthday, I think in the morning, give you one.
Birthday surprises.
We will blame in the phone, regret, and finally decided to wait for him in Guangzhou, he took the car back to Guangzhou.
I took a face confetti, and I was sitting on the stairs of Guangzhou Station, and the drop was not in. The power of love is big
People, I only have a wish, I am waiting here, I saw him in the first place, and I rushed to him.
I was so stunned, and the people around me were not bad. I saw a couple, how happy they are, he
They can have that more time.
At night, there is a policeman to say: girl, are you picking up or take a car?
I looked back and said: pick up the station, Wuhan to Guangzhou's K57.
He is kindly said: You go find a hotel to sleep, so tired.
I shook my head and said, I am not tired.
He said: there, the girl, the night is less, dangerous, if you have anything, come to me, I am on duty room.
I said with my nose, my tears salad and flowed.
I stood on the big stone pier next to the exit, I walked in a white dress on the flaming, I found my small all between the crowd.
The average brought me down from behind and kissed me in a crowded person. Say something right, didn't accompany me a 19-year-old birthday.
I cried, and my hands and feet were numb. The tears of the mandarut fammy seems to be never stopped.
He rubbed my tears with the cold hand, and finally we laughed.
He said that I am like a faucet, the switch is twice and tears.
Yes, then, why did I have so many tears?
four
In fact, I will not find the reason why we are separated.
Sometimes, there is no reason like love, and love.
In fact, we are separated. Big Sannet, we broke up.
Don't think that I am in the storyline, I will ask who is willing, who has the courage to use life to love the years
When the story is going to ups and downs?
Writing here, I want to cry. But there is no tear. I said, there is no passion of love, it is like a 60-year-old woman, and I can't nurture my child.
My tears, early in the fall of 1999, drove.
In December 1998, the average birthday, I went to Guangzhou.
At that time, the money I wrote to some magazines can already pay the tuition.
I bought a big bag of gifts, from the clothes to the sock, from the cutting knife to flower, the gift is messy, but the average
I am so happy. He knows that this fine thoughts are love.
That night, I and him, there were a few students to eat together, and I found him and his classmates.
Mutual running, wonderful to white stack, this small all, I have never seen it. The average that I have seen is gentle and meticulous
Dear, this boy who led a joke, I am very strange.
The girl is the very delicious girl who is very talented, they actually come on the dinner table. Heaven, I have a good time, I
I have already thrown the Tang poetry of Tang poetry, I want to learn how much I am in the past, and Li Xiao is all, he is
When started interested in literature?
When they came to Lu To and Tang Yu's "头", I stood up and left, and I left a table.
.
In fact, there are some things, I ignored.
I love Li Xiao, love to my marrow, I will never look at other anisotropy, and I don't allow him to see others.
I said that Xiaoxone, you are my world, I only have you, I don't have anything else, I don't allow you to leave me, unless I die.
I am palators, the personality, and the desire is strong.
I often call small in the middle of the night, as long as his classmates say he is not, I can't sleep all night, I will
I asked him.
I left the meal that night, I ran to Guangzhou to wait for the car, still sitting in that high level.
The head is relying on the railing.
I would like to take a head of the four years, I lost myself for Li Xiao. I have a division, he is divided by centime
Give, I will find that I found that he is not all, and I thought it was all.
I am sensitive and melancholy, hidden in a place in the deep bones.
In December, Guangzhou, the sun is like fire, but the night is cold.
I am groggy and sleep in Guangzhou. In the middle of the night, I was hugged, awake, a slap in the past, but found that it is small, he holds me, let
I fell by me, and I bored him on his white wrist. He is not sound,
Hold me to fly.
He took me into the room in a hotel in the flowers and threw it on the bed. Turning the head, it is a crying cry.
.
Long silence is silent, let me feel chest tightness.
I rushed over to his back, I murmured: Xiao, I love you.
He slowly turned around, hug me, kissed my eyes, my pale cheek and lips.
Then he wants me.
This is our first time, we agree to leave this day to the wedding day, but we don't.
Everything is naturally, we are jealous, trembling, fear, excitement, crazy.
One night we once again, flowing with blood, screaming.
When the dawn, I took my hand and sneaked off the floor from the hotel waiter. We stole the bed.
Then there is a pure blood red in my fair.
Fives
In the summer of 1999, I went to Guangzhou and was ready for the internship. I started to prepare for a year of life and Xiaofei Shuangjing.
Since then, we have no more steps in Yue Tong, we are still coming, will leave the second time to the new marriage.
night. When we were talking about this, there was a sacred expression on his face. At that time it was true.
I am in Guangzhou, I am very frustrated. I didn't expect it to find so hard to find it. Tech work generally wants to be Cantonese.
I won't, I will fluent Mandarin and evil Wuhan dialect, it will not be Cantonese.
I have been in the small house that I have gave me a lot of small houses. At that time, there was a standard in Guangzhou. He picks up the phone
When I was stupid next to him, I listened to the bird language.
I often let go of the past, I am a woman. He started to laugh and laughed away. Later, there were several times, it was obviously pushing me.
.
The average will sometimes hurt me, we are tight, hard to resist desires, come later, I say you don't say you.
coming.
Nodped a little, kissing my forehead said: Anyway, I will be dead, I will die, I can be strong in two years.
hold.
I cried again, tears wet on the average shirt.
In Guangzhou, it is the sweetest day of our ten years.
Every day after get off work, I will carry three two green vegetables and a little cooked food. I have a dinner to cook me. I look after him.
I want to cry with a high-ranking busy figure. I didn't eat, I didn't eat, he knocked on the rice pot: that person is
Iron rice is steel. * That didn't eat hunger, until I grinned, his time
Come over food, we look at each other, the wolf swallowed, then kissed, I was obsessed with his lips, he
Fall in love with my eyes and my neck. Sometimes we walk around, I stopped to say to him: Xiaobang, I miss you, he
I kissed my eyelashes.
Cracks also appear during this period.
I have not found a job, I have a mess and self-righteous talent, but I don't have a place to show me.
I stayed in Guangzhou for a month. I am a very conceited woman, I can't stand this leisure, I can't stand this kind of kind.
a feeling of. He can support me if he said nothing, he is in Motorola, and it is quite human, often has colleagues.
Invite him party.
Every time he is all said that Yao us will go well.
I bowed down, I don't want to look at people's clothes champagne and my gray face.
I am not shower, I am still self-respect.
The little is gradually no longer solicited my opinion, just give me the message message telling me that he will not come back.
Have a few times, it's too late to come back very late, and you will be alcohol. Lying on me, I sleep, he doesn't know that I'm not
sleep.
That day, he came back in the middle of the night. I was lying down, he opened the door with light and feet, took the pajamas and flush, I turned over
He changed the shirt, actually smelling a fragrant taste. My heart suddenly fell into the ice. I am sitting in the black hole
In the room, the brain is blank, and it is ignorant to look at the moon outside the window.
The average is coming out of the bathroom, touches black to the bed, maybe it's not to touch me, gently shout Shen Yao, I am in the dark sofa
The corner is not sound, he is also called Shen Yao, don't make trouble, the house is black, you can't care, and you will go to the light rope, I at the time.
It should be dark, I saw his figure in mobile, I stood up and ran to push him, he didn't stand, fell
on the ground.
He thought I was joking with him, smiling and climbing up and pulled up the light, saw my pitchstone standing in the room
During the tears, tears.
He looked at me, saying, how did you Shen Yao? I pointed to his nose and said: Li Xiaozhi, you, yourself!
He wanted to take me up, I kicked it in the past, but I fell on the ground. He said how did you Yaoyao?
I stood up and pounce like him like a female wolf. I grabbed him to bite him. He stopped, let me vent. Until final, I
Finally, I slept in bed.
Wake again, see the small and stand in front of the window, and the cigarette butler flashes in the night. I just lying down on his back.
I saw the eyes blossoming, he stood there so that one of the smoked, and then the smoke was turned on.
The sky is getting blob, I have been tired, he still stands there, I will gently call him: small all.
He seems to be turned, but he flipped on the ground. I jumped out of bed and rushed to hug him, screaming, I dragged him
Going to the bed, my heart is going to jump, small, my little, how did he?
I trembled, I didn't know what to all, I swayed him, I kissed him, he didn't wake up, I desperate
I cried in the bedside, I thought it was dead.
I have been crying, crying, crying to the throat, I have no tears, I found that I have slowly open my eyes.
He asked my face: Shen Yao, what happened, what do you cry?
I am dumb, say: I thought you were dead.
Small tired smile: I am just tired, I just want to sleep.
I climbed to bed, drilling into the average arm, and the snake was wrapped around him, he patted my shoulder and gradually slept.
That time, we were in the small bed, I slept for two days and night. We are tired to have an unbearable point.
I often think that the most foot sleep in my life is that day.
six
I often fall into the scene when I am narrative, write and stop. I started distressing the one of the year. I am like a one
The lost beast, I fell into the collision, I was extremely uneasy, I have done such a nightmare: I was chased by a whisper, I ran.
Run, but found that the front is a cliff, I only hesitate to jump in a second, and I woke up, I am still in the small arms,
I often have tears in the middle of the night. I am afraid that the feeling of a person runs, if someone can take my hand,
I will feel safe.
The average said that I am like a weapon, and it is no sheath.
When I said this, he hated me hate. He hates my violent, as I love my affection. There are many hates love.
I have more and more times, my love makes him suffocate.
I am like a madman, and I have to have more and more.
We quarreled again and again, and I went to sleep again and again.
Summer holidays have passed, and a little will send me to the train station, silently don't say a word.
I stand on the platform, please go to the small average hand, he holds my hand, I can't hold it, I can feel him.
I don't want to hold hands with me. I always change my face in a second, my temper has no reason. At the end, he is afraid.
He no longer talks to me, just giving me laundry silently. This day is a man who is not willing to continue, but
I understand until today, it is already so late.
On August 30, 1999, Li Xiaoye is over the 21st birthday for me, and then tell me in Guangzhou Station, we don't
Suitably, we have to hurt each other without a body.
I didn't talk, my eyes were calm, and this scene used to appear in my dreams in my dream. I finally became a reality today and became the helplessness and pain I touched.
At that time, Li Xiaoxiao shoulder his luggage, and he bought a big pocket for me.
I suddenly felt ridiculous, Li Xiaoxiao has been doing a boyfriend in the same way as a camel, can be
How can he say it out, he at least a poor attitude, the expression is about, but he is gentle.
, Look at me in pity, a pair than I am still painful. I finally didn't hold back, I laughed, laughing over the stomach
.
Li Xiao is put on the ground and said: Shen Yao, don't do this again, I have been tired.
I stood up and put the baggage on the shoulder, hugged the fruit bag on the chest, the big step in the carriage
Go, there is no back.
I just held my luggage in the sleeper, like a fool.
The train opened for a minute, I jumped. My luggage is all lost in the car, I will take an oblique backpack,
In the crowd, Li Xiaoma, in the end, I desperately rely on the street overpass in Guangzhou Station, the sky has been black. I step by step
Step by step, I went to the exit of his exit, just saw him, he was in that one.
The stone pier is squats, and it is desperate to smoke.
I standing away from him, waiting for him to look up, wait until my feet, there are numb, he didn't look up, I clearly saw the smoke.
Heart hot his hand.
When I was fell, he finally stood up and took the soot on the body, then saw me, he went to me next to me.
Extending the hand to take me, I dragged him, closed my eyes.
He dragged me to the roadside, I asked him: You have to take me where.
He doesn't sound, I said: Xiao, I will go tomorrow, I have to go back to Wuhan, I just want to spend the last one with you.
at night. I don't want your mercy. Don't.
Said that I said that I was hysterically, I waved my arm, said loud: I won't pay you, I jumped off the train.
It is to dearers.
Then I didn't cry, I said low, I just forgot that you hugged the taste of my sleep.
When he took me, he gasped with a crude: Yaoyao, Yaoyao, I love you. I love you.
He almost put me in the arm and returned to our small room, and the room was empty.
There is only a mattress in the bed. He presses me in bed, and I want to kiss me like it. I feel that I have to be kiss.
My tears have not so much, and a person's tears really have a certain capacity, one day will be dry.
He squatted at me, one inch, kissed me, he cried while crying as a child. Tears, you caught my chest
The mouth, I have been separated for many years, I seem to feel the hot iron of the tears.
We are familiar with each other's body, like a tacit understanding of born. I saw the enchanting flower opened in the roof, blooming, my nails scratched the average of the average.
We desperate must be the other party, on the bare mattress, leave my last passion in my life.
The next day, I went to the airport alone, I took the earliest flight back to Wuhan, that is my first time, I
I don't want to go to Guangzhou Railway Station for a lifetime. At the time, Li Xiaojun is sweet and sleeping on the mattress of the rental house, and the arm habitually spreads, as if I am still embraced.
Seven
Writing here, I gave a friend to see this experience, he didn't speak, holding the print manuscript while crying, he said: those years, suffering you.
I laughed, I told him that the hardships have just begun, there are days around them, and they are sweet. I have self-sufficient, I
Use a rope called love to kill my lover.
Go back to Wuhan, I lost the camera. Call the dormitory.
I have come to the phone, I didn't pick it up, I let the classmates tell him, I have dropped.
I haven't come to Wuhan to find me, I understand that he is tired, he is bored my nature. I think about him, but I deliberately let myself forget him, he is tired of me, and I don't die, I will not die. will not.
Twenty days passed, I was seriously insomnia, and there was a long string on the mouth. I have almost all dinner. I started to resent him.
That morning, I finally got up to bed, I lie in the bed of the dormitory, I feel so fast.
I struggled to cook a bowl of fast food, I want to vomit the bag, the taste of the fast food, I can't stand it.
I went to the lunch box ** to buy rice, just asked for ** gate, I wanted to vomit.
I fold it back, I went to the school gate to buy a bowl of sweetmeal, put a lot of peppers, squatting on the roadside wolf to eat
Finished.
I returned to the dormitory. The things that I just took it rushed to the bathroom, I ran to the bathroom, and I will eat all the things that I will eat.
come out.
I am straight to the body, standing on the faucet, I don't have an anorexia?
I went to the hospital, I was told to pregnant.
When I came out of the hospital, my feet couldn't find it, I almost fell back to the dormitory.
I have a life in my body, which makes me feel sad.
I have never thought about it, I will become a mother in the age of 21.
I am still a child, I am not unsafe for the chest of others a day.
I have to spit it almost every morning, my body is thin. Classmates gradually
When I hesitate to do this child, the child has been more and more stubborn in my body.
After a completely slender struggle, I decided to leave this child. My love of Li Xiaoge has become the extreme resentment of him.
Hate, I have to give birth to this child, I want to take my children to find him, ask him how to be sad.
I completely became a madman, and the child became a tool for me. I have a few fantasies that I have a face with a face.
Children, standing in front of him, smiling and telling him, this is your child, then look at his painful expression, I will laugh, Ling
Waiter laugh.
I have become a sheathing knife from October 1999.
I contacted Shenzhen's well-known beer group with the fastest speed, and then wrote an application to the school to go to Sah, on October 10. I stood in Shenzhen Street. The place I worked was a big seafood city. I became a Beer promoter
. I wore big clothes, I have to earn a money in the shortest time, then leave here before the stomach, find
A quiet place is waiting for delivery.
Shenzhen is from Guangzhou, 2 hours drive, I am working hard, can't hesitate to do every two hours drive away.
Laughing to the guests, joking, I am tightly tightly smashed like a full monk.
In hand.
I have to endure a dramatic reaction in the early pregnancy, I will spit once every ten minutes.
I can't see all yellow things, I will vomit.
That feeling, I am very difficult to use language, I said, I am not a narrative, I feel more and more difficult now.
Because there is no adjective, I am angry, I am angry, but I am more compassionate with women. I am more distressed in my belly. I think, I will give him a father.
Dear, let him see a generous shoulder at a glance. I want to think about me.
At that time, I no longer cry.
I gave my child a lot of names, such as Sinking, Shen Tian, Shen Zhao, I went to the bookstore like a real young mother.
Instructions for pregnant women, I will not stay night, I drink a lot of nutritious soup, but I am fat, the child is four months.
, My abdomen is still flat, the company still makes me as younger like a young labor, I am alone.
Returned to twelve bottles of beer, no one knows that my waist can't get up.
On December 25, 1999, I fell from the stairs of Shenzhen Carnival, blood from a high walk.
The ladder is like my youth.
My child, got there.
That little life, my youth is only the only brand of my body's skin, so I'm going to fall.
.
I remember the empty big operation room, the blue screen is high, the cold equipment is agitated in my body.
I tightly bite the lips, the gynecologist, the gynecologist, looked at me, child, you call,
The pain is called. I didn't call, my lips started bleeding, the doctor gave me sweat, and finally she said: Unfortunately, it is a boy.
, Faster five months, if you fall, don't take it off at all.
When she cleaned up the equipment: Do you want to see?
I am desperately shaking, and then coma.
Write here, I am in the case, and I don't have a lot of strength.
I am more and more intense to the heartache of Shen Yao. I don't even think that it is five years ago, I want to extend your arm to 19
In 1999, gave Shen Yao a warm hug, let her sleep a sweet feeling in my arms.
How did I come over? How did I bury the past? Or I am really just writing a story, the story
Flowing false blood?
But I have clearly seen the weak Shen Yao out of the hospital's door, and put simple luggage in his hand. She saw at the door of the hospital.
A group of people surrounded by chess, she went to see, as if five years ago, high school class, her Baba looked at Li Xiaoe and others.
Going chess, she squatted on the side of the road, solving a chess game, won the 50 yuan, she holds the fifty yuan: small, you are
How much is my life? I actually rely on your skills to earn money!
When I returned to the dormitory, I realized that the people in the hotel heard that I was unmarried and pregnant. I was expelled. I am in others
In the eyes, I can't get up in my head. I can't stay.
I took out all the money in the passbook, went to Guangzhou Railway Station, bought the ticket, give me good friends, hoe, let her
Wuhan came to pick me, then only 2 yuan left in his hand, I can't hungry, I bought a cantaloupe with bamboo stick.
I am like a migrant worker, and I am in the Guangzhou station, my Guangzhou, my Guangzhou station, all my sad things.
Station in Guangzhou.
When I thought about my heart, the cantaloupe was grabbed by a beggar. Learn. I am hungry, I went to the train and slept all the way. I have been sad to numb.
When I went to Wuhan, I saw the first movement of Shantou was pulling her to run. The steamed bread contains tears, watching me, pull it.
Two big bowls, she pinching me frozen red hand, Wuhan, already flying snow, I wear a single slice, frozen, full of chicken skin.
Taro and my classmates ten years, I don't hide her, she is my only girlfriend, but I am in Guangzhou.
Cutting, she didn't know that all people didn't know, I concealed my most deadly injury like a cancer patient.
The hoe took me to her residence. She has already went to work, and the house rented is a single room, clean and neat, and warm.
The room is filled with a faint flower, and the family is intimate.
She went to my wallet, thick stack, then proposed a pocket, it is a beautiful coat.
I don't want, I said.
She looked at my eyes, tears sparkling: Yaoyao, from today, you have to be a person who lives for yourself. I can
Solved only the material problem, other questions you have to solve themselves.
I don't know, three days ago, Li Xiao said in the room of the steamed bread, and the eyes said: Xiaoman, you know
Where is Yaoyao?
Taro said: Do you still think of her? How do you have to be sad? She doesn't know where she is now.
Wandering!
Li Xiaoji seek a traveler to give him a clue, he can find me, hoe gave him my address in Shenzhen.
Li Xiaohuo went to Shenzhen, it was the day I left Shenzhen, maybe we got a boy in a sovereign? Br.
This time, let Li Xiao will completely put me down, because my lovely old colleague describes me into one
The grievances that have been affected and abandoned. They portray my bloody appearance, what is Li Xiao average?
What is the expression? They have become a riddle.
In the past five years, I have not stepped into Guangdong Province.
There is my hell.
Eight
When I tell this story, I ignore many people. They have swept in my life.
For example, in the Shenzhen Hotel, a boy secretly gave me a note, put the rose on my dormitory window, I am not
I haven't seen it, but I hurt him, I stood under the street lamp asking him: You a service, what to love
I?
In the dark, he is red and red, and the big mouth is exhaling, then turn around.
Later, we have wiped the shoulders in the hotel countless times, and his eyes are angry and disdain.
Later, he left the hotel.
Later, I heard that he opened the company.
Later, I heard that he had already been famous in Shenzhen.
I often think of him, he is a good boy, you should find a white-flawless woman.
Another boy is Jiangmen people, his home is separated from Hong Kong, it is far away.
We know on the plane in Wuhan, yes, that is, I will return to Wuhan from Guangzhou, he will be in Wuhan.
He sat next to me, I was sitting on the seat on the eyes, and he told me from time to time.
I felt fierce in the first time, he has been busy with me, and it is more thoughtful than flight attendants.
Let's take a ride from the airport to Wuhan. He gives me a phone number. I know that he is in love with me.
He came to my school to find me, please dinner, I am lazy refusal.
He has a prominent family that has been well educated and has a decent job. He pulled me to visit the street, as long as I am in someone
In the past three minutes, I will definitely receive this gift in a certain day, he is romantic to the extreme, gentleman to the extreme.
When he returned to Guangzhou, I went to the plane, asked me in the airport: Miss Shen, if you like, do you consider do my friendly friendly?
I laugh. I said that I sent you an e-mail. After returning to Guangzhou, you know my answer.
I tell him everything in the email.
When he flew back to Wuhan to find me, I have already went to Shenzhen.
When he turned to find my address in Shenzhen, I have left Shenzhen.
In order to look at the sky, I missed the world.
In 2003, we actually meet in Beijing, and there is a woman who has a smile and Qian. We are cold, he is back
Desolatened.
Let me breathe, and then I will say Shen Yao.
I will come out from the plot, pretending Shen Yao just a woman who happened to me with me, and I have a similar experience with me.
.
The new century began.
Millennium New Year's Eve, the fireworks of the sky are blooming, extraordinarily enchanting. I am sitting on the balcony railing and she asked me.
I still hate Li Xiao, I am silent, I remember my death, I remember the white eyes I have seen, I
Biting the teeth: hate.
The hoe is no longer speech, it is my hate, and once again let me get shoulders with Li Xiao.
Before asked me, the little bun said, Xiaoman said to the hoe in the phone: Xiaoman, I decided to tell me that she is in the end.
What happened, how can she practice myself then.
Shantou rushed on the phone: Li Xiao, I still want to ask you what to do with Yao Yao!
Taro passed me, gently patted my shoulders and said: Yaoyao, forgot to start, restart. Youth is born.
I went to sleep in the arms of the hoe, I saw the small boss standing on a big river. I told him here.
He did not respond. This dream, I have been a whole for three years and I am tired.
Taro gave a small phone that night, she calmly told Xiao: Shen Yao hated you, please don't come again.
Quiet life. And these, I don't know.
We have passed, this is the first few times?
That is the year of the snail climbed, I almost didn't laugh.
I often take the station on the bus, put the laundry powder in the toilet, cut the dishes, cook the rice, forget the water, my life
A bad. I am like a waste man who lost life.
I lived on a small hall near Hanzheng Street. I am late every morning, I am sitting on the terrace on the terrace.
I just gave a darkness from the day, I never turned over, I didn't talk all day long, I feel that I feel that I feel the last talk.
It is someone else's voice.
I found a job, and I will never be resigned less than a week, because I am so aim, often a mentally wrong mistake.
I found a job in the weather in June, the skin is dark, I stand on the streets of Wuhan looking at huge advertising
gosh. I have little big capital, I have been ruined for four years, and my professionalism is not good.
Finally, there are companies to ask me, they look at my young and pure face, I stand in the company lobby every day, wear a board.
Like a good makeup, just like a living signboard, even if you have a joke, I just have to not not fire.
Smile, everything OK.
Life seems to be gradually exposed.
nine
Two thousand years, I have passed the stupid, there is no average of any messages.
Two thousand years, my trajectory is the unit to the dormitory, never more than Yue Tong.
Two thousand years, it is very important. Because when I seem to have to go out of the haze, Xiao, Li Xiao has appeared.
A look that is like blood is solidified, and it has been tied with a knife.
On November 12, 2000, I received a call from high school students after get off work, saying that it was a group of Wuhan classmates, and I was waiting for me in a hotel.
When I went, everyone arrived, a group of people smiled three, I laughed quietly, seat in the corner
In the room, some people took a call, and she asked everyone: Hey, comrades, you guess who is coming?
The classmates you have a guess, the students who answer the phone say: now the excellent staff of Motorola, Li Xiao
Kill back Wuhan.
The voice did not fall, the package door has been pushed away, I think about the lover, so I don't help but I said in front of my eyes.
I bounced it.
The voice is full, and the average also saw me, we traveled around the surrounding sounds.
My lover, he is still tall, I miss the chest is still generous, his eyes, his eyebrows, his cold hands
The fingertips, the thick hair of his microcontrol, his ears, the redness of the redness, still the same.
How much I want to go up, I am in that chest, crying.
The average boss just looked at me, I was pressed and penalized, and he took a cup of a cup of spicy liquor. Drink
Neck red.
I am so stissible with him, I look at him in a round table, I can't get it for my life.
The traces are small, he didn't look at me again, didn't tell me a word.
After the meal, we changed to another classmate home, I was forced to pull. Small are in another vehicle.
My classmates deliberately don't let us in a car, they know that I and Li average embarrassment. They thought me and
Li Xiao is already in the fog, who knows that my liver is broken? Eight people, two tables. A table poker one table mahjong.
Li Xiaory and I have a table, he sits down on my face.
I haven't mentioned overnight, I lost three hundred, he lost four hundred.
None words, until the white, he finally said a word when he walked: Shen Yao, please hand my coat.
This sentence is lightweight, when we are together, he often commands me: Shen Yao, give me a coat to me.
Come, Shen Yao, take my shoes, Shen Yao brings me to me ...
I still have an illusion in an instant, as if we are still love, as if I can still go to him to spoiler, imitation
I can also hang on his neck, as if ...
Just as if it is. He said today, there is more "please" words, this word, put all our vigilance
The past is clean.
My little, I have already turned this page. He is no longer waiting for my person in place.
Although, I made a whole onion year for him.
I returned to my accommodation, put all the treasures with small things, and inspected a little bit, facing the winter day.
Micro sunshine detachable.
He sent my card, brooch, all Wuhan-Guangzhou ticket, Guangzhou to Wuhan ticket, he wrote it to me
The words, there is a phone book of his writing, his tie clip, his cold medicine, his invoice, our room
Rent receipt, and our first intimate bed.
I use a whole day, look at these small items, look at it, start tears, began to sow, open
Enterprise.
After a year, I finally cried.
I miss the small.
I thought he also missed me.
I am painful because I miss.
I thought he was more painful.
I thought we would be together, he will be like usually, come over, kiss my eyelashes, his lips are thin, the eyes are bright, I thought he would say: Yaoyao, I love you, I still love you.
I thought I could put into his embrace again, and let's bite my teeth in his shoulder, I want to sleep in him, do it.
A dream has a spring blossom, there are four seasons alternating, there is a waves a wet shore.
Everything has passed, he can be polite to me, he doesn't look at me for him, I am a year
Solden ten pounds, my wrist can see the bronze blood vessels, he doesn't look, when he left my line of sight.
Even if I didn't look back, I almost faintly behind him, he didn't know, there were so many details, he
Do not know at all.
I went to the company to resign, and then bought the ticket to Beijing.
I want to find a corner, wipe the wound, not Wuhan is not Guangzhou is not Shenzhen.
I chose to Beijing, where the four seasons are clear, and the winter is cold to the bone.
ten
In December 2000, the Capital Airport, the cold wind, I made a small suitcase and walked into the flow of people.
At this time, my look is light, my eyes are no longer clear, I just left the shoulder, the only thing that constant is the baby, I insist
Without any lipstick, I keep him a loyalty of the six years.
I rely on the princess tomb, brush it into tender powder, in the house, sturdy Damiang, green green on the windowsill
Multi-leaf plants, raise two fish in the fish tank on the table.
I have returned to the national and trade and princess graves. I am used to sleeping the armrest in the subway. I am used to wearing a stiff job.
Undage, habit, there is no average life.
I seem to be farther and farther away from Xiao.
I am no longer talking to the classmates of Wuhan. I bought the mobile phone number of Beijing, the phone book is all my Beijing friends.
Three months later, I said a fluent Beijing film, even the Beijing people don't know my origin, they can't think of it, I have said
The evil Wuhan, they don't know if I can understand each Guangzhou.
I am holding a laugh, and the customer's gentle talk, I seem to be born for work.
However, the night is a difficult relationship.
I have a habit, just crying in the terrace at night. I am crying, then wipe your tears, enter the room to drill into the room.
I wobbled, I relied on this day of this day, I'm like a baby. I even woke up in the middle of the night, I did
Nightmare, wake up, hit, I hold the arm standing on the terrace, Beijing night is cool, my naked skin is born
pain. I often stop half a night.
As soon as I wake up, I will get up and get to the subway station to start a day. No one knows that my secret night is like
This is unbearable.
No him, I am just alone.
On the weekend, I will send time in the community's activities and people 's chess, my chess level is increasingly refined, in the community
Almost can dominate. Only when playing chess, I can don't want anything, I will make chess to kindly of the grandfather, I
Teasing them, the old man is like a child, and I will let it let them.
I will be in the event center one day. If there is a sun, I will push the old man who is inconvenient with the legs, listening to them.
Old Beijing interesting things. They also surpass my imagination, there is a day of dry clothes, and the clothes are repeatedly stolen.
But my clothes never lost, as long as I washed clothes, they chatted near the clothesline until the clothes did, he
I took it down, every time I came back from the company, I saw the clothes hanging in the door, I couldn't help my nose.
You pay your love, you will definitely harvest more love.
But I paid so much love for Li Xiao, but the harvest is a painful.
eleven
Do you think I will still describe those processes, can't, can't, I want to end this memory, those details, more peeling
The more sad, no wound can stand up and repeatedly, uncover, no shocking. We only say later, every one
The story from the beginning will be later.
Later, in January 2003, a man named Suke said loudly in Wangfujing's crowded street: Shen Yao, married
give it to me. I don't want you to cry.
Suke's eyes are pure, the skin is white, the finger is long, he is thin and weak, but he said to protect me, I tried to take his arm.
The arm is leaning on his chest, and it is closed on his eyes.
I said to Sucker: Sumok, give me three days, just three days, I will give you an answer.
Suke said my hand in his big hand: I have been waiting.
Three days, I used to make a flight.
The flight is in the night and see the darkness of the eyes. Standing in the Baiyun Airport, listening to the full-scale Cantonese,
. I recruit a taxi, gradually entering the heart of Guangzhou, every subtle bump is conducive, young
Machine: Miss, where are you going?
Please take me to turn, where is it. I say.
and then? He continued to ask me.
I am sitting in the rear seat. There are neon flashing: Then we go back to the airport.
The driver looked at me from the rearview mirror. I smiled and explained: I just forgot the taste of Guangzhou, and I will smell.
When I returned to Beijing, I was in the morning, in January, I made a call on the spring, I asked her to know that Li Xiao is in
Where, the hoe is silent, then a word tells me: Li Xiaoxiao's marriage, fixed on May 1.
Hang up the phone, sit on the side of the road, lang, and then stop the car.
The taxi is difficult to advance in the Third Ring Road, and traffic jams are always events in Beijing. I have a car window and look at the outside, a wear
The man in the Qingxi clothing stationed in a Passat, and the image was extremely Li Xiao. I jumped off the bus with the magic. I just got off the bus.
See the man entered the car, then the car slowly moved, I ran over, the traffic started, and I faster, I
It was completely thrown on the three rings, the vehicle passed from me, I was thrown behind again, I seem to see Time from me.
After brushing around, I stood in the car.
Three days later, I and Sumok were stationed in the Marriage Registration Office.
twelve
Small, if you see this article, if you see this article, please believe this is all, my ten years, I will pay for you for ten years.
I am no longer asked, I don't ask you how you are sad.
We have to forget the rivers and lakes, floating clouds, and let it gradually be far away, we can meet again, please don't call
I. Because I promised Suke, accompanied him to this life.
