Parents high expectations caused children to learn, excessive protection, causing children, and loves their children indifference. Two generations of contradictions during the winter vacation
After a winter vacation, many students have already made a good job of starting school, but for the elasticity of the first three, this winter holiday is not a bit, before the holiday, his mother will visit the district. The key middle school founded the foreign language, physics, mathematics teacher who was teaching the first three, gave him "open small stove".
The family education starts on time on the first day of the holiday, and the 3 classes will be two times a week, and the walrow in the foreign year is the New Year's Eve, the first month of the first month and the first day.
In the early 1950s, he served as the principal of Primary School. Now he has already left the old educator worker who has been at home. "Now some parents are not educating children but are destroying children, when children are looking for themselves When the feeling of home, our education has completely failed. "
Many educators also pointed out that family education is the earliest education of children, which will affect people's life, but many parents have used their homes to extend their homes, regard their children as the learning machine in the laboratory, "Misunderstanding of family education" I am hurting our children! "
Misunderstanding 1: Only
Parents say something similar every day:
A primary school teacher told the reporter that there is such a thing, the Xiaoli is studying in the class, is a non-eye-catching student, and recently, the teacher discovered her habit of thief. In order to better educate the small departments, the teacher invited her parents. When this heard a small apocide, there was not much reaction; and when the teacher mentioned that the learning results of the small deposit have been When the fell, the parents suddenly worried, "said that the children who have a little haul problem will naturally correct it, but learning is not good, but the big thing affects a lifetime!"
"We have an amazing discovery", deputy director of the Chinese Youth Research Center, Sun Yunxiao said: "Although the parents of the country have never been able to drive together, the parents of the country have a very similar words: Whether to study As long as you learn, you don't have anything else. "
Child education has become the primary task in modern family life. According to reports, in 2003, the per capita education expenditure of Beijing reached thousands of dollars, an increase of 19.6% per year than in 1997.
However, parents' education seems to be limited to the pursuit of children's academic performance. Sun Yunxia said that many parents even gave birth to the child's physical health even in order to ensure that the child's health, a national urban adolescent child living habits showed that 35.5% of parents believe that "children's learning is the most important, I have time to do sports ", and 11.3% of my parents think" For learning, children are not sleeping less. "
"Parents' high expectations, it is often no hope to give children", "Xinxin Sister" Lu Qin met many such families.
One day, a mother gave Lu Qin: "My daughter is just a few points, I have not been admitted by Peking University, and I have a sleeping pill, and now I am being rescued in the hospital ..." The girl's academic performance has always been very good, I want to go to Peking University. As a result, the admission notice was sent to know that his daughter was admitted to another key university in Beijing for a variety of differences. Although this is also a pretty good school, this girl does not send it, and takes the opportunity to go to the park to commit suicide.
Her parents cry and said to Lu Qin: "Our heart is broken. Daughter is all of our, but the daughter is all Northern ..."
"These two 'all' is the problem", Lu Qi said, "Parents have a career, life, social responsibility outside the child, exactly because they regard their daughters as all of life," all " It turned into Peking University, "This is too absolute, life turns only one way, it is easy to force yourself." Misunderstanding 2: Everything
Parents are overprotitive will make children incomplete
Teacher Xiao Pei is now a class teacher near Zhongguancun, Beijing, she feels that it is getting harder and harder now.
Once, Xiao Pei saw a pencil on the classroom floor, and asked which classmate, there was no classmate.
"The children don't want this pencil, but they don't know that it is not my own." Mr. Xiao Pei said that almost all students will help patent the book every day, so many children are not clear. What is "equipment". Teacher Xiao Pei said that the parents will now hold everything in order to make children can make more time and effort.
"The excessive protection of parents has made the child more and more powerful." Lu Qin introduced, once, she led the children of dozens of cities to Qizhen Nature Reserve in Qiqihar City to engage in summer camp, send eggs in the first morning, one two The little girl at the grade stared at a cooked egg, I don't know how to start. As a question, I know that my mother is peeled off every morning, so she has only seen "white, soft eggs", I don't know "yellow, there is hard" is also eggs.
This care of parents not only makes children in life, but also makes their thoughts.
After graduation, Guo Ying Primary School was sent to the United States. She found that China's children and the United States had the biggest difference in the United States. The United States had a chance to see, and China's children must discuss with teachers and students. "This has a big relationship with us from small education." Guo Ying took an example, in the United States, a child is sick, parents bring him before the hospital, first to seek his opinions: There are two ways to treat children to choose, Chinese medicine - not injection, but slow; Western medicine - - Needle, but fast. "In fact, the United States parents' practice is not only to respect the child's choice, but more importantly, let the children learn to make decisions, and bear the consequences of the decisions, such as the 'pain' and the noble 'slow'". " In such a process, the United States has become more and more changing, and they will clearly know what the consequences brought by this decision will. However, Chinese parents often think of their children. The child slowly lost its ability to think about judgment, even if it makes it, it is difficult to be responsible for the results.
Teacher, a teacher in a college entrance, told reporters that those who have been waiting for parents have to wait for their respect, and they can not be respected in the school. They can't reflect their own value in a group, "such a Children can only be a piece of waste even if the college graduates is graduated. "
Misunderstanding 3: None of the principle of love
Parents' love makes children indifference, ruthless
A student of a secondary school in Beijing has a special event of parent interaction, a mother is crying in the recording. One day before New Year's Day is the birthday of this mother, my mother bought a cake.
After a few mouthfuls of my son, my mother looked at the son of the wolf to swallow the temper. When I was happy, I said that my son said: "Son, today is a mother's birthday." Listened this, the son is first Keep it followed: "What is the relationship with me ?!"
In the recording, my mother didn't say it.
"The parents of the world are love children, but they don't know how to love children." Teacher Lu Qin said.
At the end of last year, a big day was on the light rail station, a boy around 10 years old was turned around in the reporter. The reporter told him that he told reporters that he waited for my mother to go back to the city. About ten minutes later, the mother of this boy came, holding a box of "Yoshinjia" chicken rice in his hand, boy picking up, he seems to think about what, in front of her kimoni Let's make it. Mom said: "What do you want to eat, I have to buy it yourself?" The son ran to the platform, and did not forget to throw his own bags before the run. Mom, who has already made two bags.
Li Meilu, who had been psychologized, and his parents had too much love for children, not only can't let children learn to love, but will make children feel that they are the center of the family, but they become selfish, and even indifferent, ruthless.
Teacher Sun Yunxia said: "The core of education is a heart joy. For the family, education is more important to the child's" heart ".
Misunderstanding 4: Do not fight
Educational education without criticism is irresponsible education
"Encourage children to be, criticizing children are also right." Sun Yunxiao said to reporters.
Some experts pointed out that China's traditional education is not good at praising and encouraging children, which makes many children lack self-confidence, so there are many educational experts called for you, you have to tell your child!
However, there is another extreme extreme: the child can't say it.
Teacher Xiao Pei said such a thing: a girl did not complete the operation, her class teacher simply criticized a few sentences, did not expect the girl from the school, "leaving", the afternoon class teacher and school leaders accompany parents Looking for her.
"Now the child, especially the children in the city rarely criticized at home, as long as there is a little uncomfortable, they are too fragile." Xiao Pei said.
It is understood that many parents are not only rarely criticized at home, but they are criticized in schools. Teacher Xiao Pei introduced that parents often find schools because they have criticized them in school, and these parents don't ask if there is any problem in the end, but why is it bullied with the teacher's theory? "The more this, the less the children can't listen to". "
In fact, this is not conducive to the growth of the child, and the teachers will no longer dare to "do their best" to educate their children.
"Parents must learn to say to their children," Teacher Sun Yunxia pointed out that there is no setback education is incomplete education, and the child has not experienced setbacks "will become fragile", so, let the children's life has a penalty area, they I have made mistakes to be punished. If children know that some rules are unshake, some faults have to bear the consequences.
No parents don't love their children, no parents don't want their children to become talents, but many parents hate iron in the Dragon. In fact, the problems in the child are caused by the misconduct of parents. As Lu Qin teacher said, the child is a mirror of his parents. The problem is in the child, but "sick root" is likely to be on his parents.
