Carnegie Interpersonal Relationship Manual
- Dell × Carnegie
1 order
I have to graduate and go out, so I borrowed this book and I hope to benefit myself. This talked about many of the key principles of getting along. In fact, these principles have an excellent example around me, that is my mentor. Although the mentor is busy, there are not many opportunities for our ear, but we will always respect him. Every time I talk to him, he always sincerely appreciates the work we did before, and then it should work hard in the recommended way. I know that I am very difficult to do like a tutor or this, because my character is impatient, easy to impulsive, the critical moment is not calm. Remember these principles that are all along with people, I want to see more, more think, even if I can't do it, I know that I am wrong after I am committed to it, in order to make up and correct it.
Of course, the principles mentioned below are not suitable for any occasion, and they are giving leaders, some are for salesmen, ×××××××. Many are suitable for interacting with strangers, not suitable for intimate friends. Finally, it is probably available to summarize the principles of this book, that is: with people and good, don't want to make people. In fact, all of this is the skills and means of interpersonal communication, the most critical or to make a success.
Zhang Fang
2005-2-17
2 Ping An Happy Seven Essentials
The face of life is made up of us. If we can learn from yourself, see your strengths and shortcomings, you can stepping steady, achieving goals; you don't have to waste a lot of time, empty.
1.1 Discover yourself, uphold the true color - don't imitate others
Remember, you are unique in the world.
Your inner strength is unique, only you know what you can do. But unless you really do it, even if you don't know
I'm really doing it.
People who cannot express nature are destined to fail, and failing is fast.
Emerson said in the prose
Everyone will have a period of time, and it is ignorant. The imitation will only ruin themselves; everyone is good
Bad, all of themselves; even if the universe is full of good things, don't worry, you can't get it; your internal strength is unique, only you know what you can do. But unless you really do it, even if you don't know what you can do.
If you can't be a high pine on the top of the mountain, it's a small tree in the valley - but it's best to be the best small tree.
If you can't be a musk deer, it's a small squid - but you want to be the most active small squid in the lake.
We can't all be the captain, you must go as a sailor. There have been a lot of things to do, there are big things, small things, but the most important thing is our side.
If you can't be a road, it is a path;
If you can't be a sun, you just be a star.
Is it destined to defeat is not your size of your size - and is doing a best you!
The cultivation of sound mentality will bring you peace and freedom. Remember
Don't imitate others. Let us express themselves and adhering to the true color.
1.2 Develop four good work habits
There are two capability of people, it is difficult to find: First, thinking, one is the ability to deal with things according to things.
Four good work habits:
1) Clean the desktop, only reserve items related to current work
The order is the first law of heaven; it is also the first law of the mall.
A chaotic table is full of a table to be complex, report and memo, enough to lead to panic, nervous and worrying.
Concentrate the concept of performing the concept; dealing with continuous work events is immediately handled.
People will not die because of overwork, but they will die because of amlean and worry.
2) Doing no one will always do things in accordance with the matter of things. But I know that the way to do things according to the class is much better than what to do.
3) When you meet the problem, you have to solve it right away, or make a decision, don't put on the side.
4) Learn how to organize, authorize and supervise
On the mall, many people often entered the grave early due to not knowing others.
1.3 Learning to relax in work
Remember, tight muscles themselves are working. So, relax yourself! Save energy to do more important things.
People who have a good health and often sitting work, their fatigue is a psychological factor, or our so-called emotional factors.
1.4 How to eliminate tiredness? - Interests for work
Tired feelings will make you fatigue, worry, resentment ...
If you are "pretending" interested in work, this attitude often makes your interests into true.
Tired is the only reason why it reduces work ability. Our fatigue is often caused by work, but because of worry, frustration and dissatisfaction.
1.5 Calculate the happiness you have - not worry
Will you sell your own eyes, hands, hearing, child or family for hundreds of millions of wealth? Add up your assets, you will find that
Get all your gold and silver, you can't buy everything you have.
I am not happy, because I have a pair of shoes,
Until I was on the street, I saw someone lacking two legs.
The best physician in the world is: Time-made physician, quiet physician and happy physician.
We rarely think of what you have, but always think about what you have ------ this is the biggest misfortune in the world.
For all things, we want to think that this habit is better than the age of a child.
There are only two goals in life: one, pursue what you want; second, enjoy what you are pursuing. Only the smartest people can reach the first
Two goals.
1.6 No one will kick a dead dog, remember, malicious criticism is usually changing compliment
When others kick you, ruthlessly criticize you, that is because they think so will improve their importance.
(This article does not dare to do this point, not all this)
1.7 gallbladder to do - malicious criticism can't hurt you
As long as you think is right, you will do it --- Anyway, you have done someone who criticized, and it will also be criticized.
Even you I was fooled, sneered, deceived, and the knife rack was on the back of the back, or sold by a friend - like Jesus, it is not too pessimistic.
For all attacks, if the time, the time is much more than the study time, we are afraid that we must close the door, I do everything I can, do what I think is best, and I will continue until the end. If the ending proves that I am right, those opposed remarks don't have to be more than; if the ending proves that I am wrong, then there are ten angels to defend me, it is also awkward!
So, when we are unreasonable criticism, remember: do your best, then put your eldest umbrella, let the rain of criticism not hit your back.
3 Basic skills to handle interpersonal relationships
2.1 Do not criticize, blame, or complain
Only less smart talent criticism, accusing and complaining others. However, understanding people, forgive others, need to cultivate and homemade.
Criticism will not change the facts, but only will lead to resentment.
As the mosaic anger caused by criticism, the morale of employees, loved ones and friends is often low, and the fact that should be corrected, one point
There is no benefit.
The great man is from the behavior of the small person, showing its greatness.
Let us try to understand others, don't use the way to scold! Let us try to see the place: Why do they do this.
This is also beneficial than the criticism, it is more interesting, and it is a heart sympathy, endurance and kindness.
Don't criticize, blame, or complain. 2.2 The big 诀 诀 in people - dedication to your true, sincere appreciation
"I am a sure" -------- a small number of people who know how to meet the desires of humans, they can master others in their hands.
Only one way in the sky can cause people to do anything, let him want to do this.
Sincerely appreciation is the primary secret of successful management personnel.
In interpersonal communication, don't forget that people we have come into contact with people, they are eager to be appreciated. Providing joy is legal and reasonable.
People only live once, so anything that can contribute, let me do it now. Don't hesitate, don't be slow, because you only
Live this.
Let us not always think about our achievements, need. Let us try to find the advantages of others, then, not everything, but come from
Sincerely appreciate them. It is necessary to "sincerity, generously praise", and people will also hide your speech in memory, and do not forget life.
(To give your praise when appropriate)
2.3 causes the desire of others
Only one method under the sky can affect people, just mention their needs, and let them know how to get.
The only way to influence others is to think about people, see what they need.
You may have a chance to ask someone to do something. Remember, before you open, you will stop asking yourself, "How can I let this?
Personal want to do this. "This problem will make us not too impatient, and it will not only be in vain for his own needs.
This is a world full of plundering, selfish selfishness. Therefore, a few expressions are not self-private, and people who are willing to help others can get great advantage.
Because fewers will compete with him in this regard.
It can be used to think that people think about others, knowing what others want to think, never worry about the future.
It is necessary to first cause the eagerness of others. Everyone who can do this, the world will be with him. This kind of person is never lonely.
2.4 Sincerely care about others
If we want to finish your friends, we must do something for others, those who need to spend time, energy, considerate, and dedication.
People don't pay attention to you at all, and they will not pay attention to me. They pay attention to themselves ----- No matter the morning, noon or dinner.
Caring for people is the special product of the salesman.
As long as you really care about others, you must win the attention of others, help and cooperate, and even the busiest importance is no exception.
The performance of concern is, just like other interpersonal relationships, it must be sincere.
(Try not to be alone, let more people participate, and accept the suggestions of others, will play a multiplication.)
2.5 Let others feel that they are important - to do sincerity.
How do you want someone to treat you, how to treat others first.
Almost everyone you meet, you have thought of it in some places excellent than you. So, to hit the best way to move their hearts,
I would like to show you that you think that they are important.
Talk to people, they will be willing to hear a few hours.
Let others feel that they are important - to do sincerely.
4 How to make someone else's ideas like you
Dell × Carneze said: "Most people lack the keen capacity of perspective of others. Now, the secret is here, as long as you study.
3.1 Opinions on others should be respected. Don't say: "You are wrong."
When you teach people, it seems to be as if you don't have anything. Things have to be asked unconsciously, as if they are forgotten.
If you can determine that your judgment is 50% is right, you can go to Wall Street. If you can't determine your own judgment
Is there a 50% breakfast, how can someone else to make mistakes?
You can't teach people, you can only help them discover.
The only known thing I know is what I don't know.
If you think some people are wrong, even if you are confident that he is wrong, you are best to say: "Ah, slow, I have another idea, I don't know if I am wrong. If I am wrong, I hope you will correct me. Let us take a look at this matter. "
You will never cause trouble because of mistakes. Only in this way can you calm down, and induce each other, you can also be as fair as you like, or even
Acknowledging that he may be wrong.
I can understand the ideas of others and benefit very much. Maybe you will feel strange, is it necessary to understand someone else? I think it is. We have
The first reaction of "statement" is often "estimated" or "evaluation" instead of "understanding". Whenever some people express feelings, attitudes or letters
Read, our usual immediate response is: "This is right", "this is so stupid", "this is not normal", "This is a reasonable", "that is wrong".
We rarely go to understand the true meaning in the statement.
If you pay too much to point out someone else's mistakes, good opinions will not be accepted, or even great harm. You deprive others's self
Respect, also make yourself be the most popular part of the discussion.
To hurry with your head and good.
The hand is smooth, which will help you reach your purpose.
3.2 starting from a friendly way
If you want to win people, first let him believe that you are the most sincere friend.
People's thoughts are not easy to change. You can't force them to agree, but it is likely to guide them, as long as you are gentle, as gentle as possible,
May be friendly.
The solar energy is faster, and the old man takes off the jacket, now, gentle, friendly and appreciation attitude can also teach people to change their minds, this is roaring and
It is difficult for violent attacks.
"If you have a double box to find me, I think I will not show weak." Wilson said: "But if you say to me:" Let us sit down
To discuss discussions, if we have different opinions, where is the difference, where is the problem? 'So, I can accept it. we
Perhaps only different views are different, but most of them are still consistent. As long as you have patience, you can frank, you can walk harmony. "
3.3 To immediately let others say: "Yes, yes."
When you tell others to make mistakes, remember the way Socrates, ask some gentle problems - some can trigger others "is" reflected
problem.
Let the other party say: "Yes, yes." If possible, it is best to let your opponent have no chance to say: "No."
A "no" reaction is the barrier to overcome. When you say a "no" word, all self-esteems must continue to stick to
go with.
3.4 Let others think that is their idea
No one likes to be dominated, or forced to do something. We prefer to buy things according to what you mean, or in your own meaning
move. We like others to consult our desire, demand and opinion.
3.5 motivation to resort to noble
Everyone in each of us is idealized, likes to explain the motivation of behavior. Therefore, to change others,
Relegate a noble motivation.
Generally speaking, customers are willing to fulfill their obligations, there is a very few exceptions. And I believe, those customers with fraudulently,
If you are willing to believe that they are honest, honest and bright, most of them will have a kind reaction.
5 ways to change people
If we want to "change a person without attack and causing an indignant", an attitude must be adopted, respecting him, accepting him
Is a person. His reaction determines our attitude.
4.1 Indirect remind others to pay attention to the mistakes of committing.
Indirect pointing out the misses of others, it is more gentle than directly saying, and it does not cause strong dislike of others.
Indirect remind others to pay attention to the mistakes of committing.
4.2 Talking about your own mistake before accusing others. Listening to others saying that our mistakes are difficult, but if the other party claims that they are not perfect, we are easier to accept.
Don't blame your little young people, think about what virtue in that age will help you change the view.
A good leader will follow the principles below: Talk about your own mistake before accusing others.
4.3 No one likes to be referred to, to make a problem instead of command
With the recommended approach, it is easy to make a person to correct the error, and you can keep your personal dignity and consciousness.
Don't say: "Do this, do that", "Don't do this, don't do that." And said: "You can consider this." "You think ... how?", "Maybe it's better to write."
The rude command will lead to a long time, even if this command is used to correct the obvious mistake.
A powerful leader will: replace the command in order to ask questions.
4.4 Keep the face of others
Iso Peisi said: "I have no power to say, or make people look at my own thing. ××× × hurt the dignity of others."
Keep the face of others! What is important issue! And we rarely take into account this problem. We often like to put a shelf, I am
I am disappointing, scared, accuseing children or employees in front of everyone, but not considering whether I hurt others's self-esteem. In fact, as long as you do more
Considering a few minutes, speaking a few words, thinking about others, you can easily ease many unpleasant scenes.
Real leaders often: keep others' face.
6 famous shortcut
The ability of the speech is a shortcut of a famous name. This ability is a person who is eye-catching and cranes. And a person who speaks people, people
Evaluation of his ability, often exceeds his true talent.
In addition to knowledge, in addition to knowledge, there will be talk, convince others, sell yourself and your own ideas "
Go to the talent.
