ENGLISH JOKE, AND SOME NOTES for English Study

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Bleak a. Desolate; cold; no hope of Blunta. Rate straight; blunt V. (make) blunt; (make) slow Bosom n. (heart) chest boycottn./v. (United) boycott, refuse to participate in Bracev Make preparation, make exercise; support; (hands, foot, shoulders, etc.) tighten N. Bracket, bracket Bring Up education, cultivate, to grow BrockHure n. Booklet -------------- ------------------------------------ Rush Limbaugh and His Chauffeur Were Out Driving In The Countryand Accidentally Hit and .

They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked onthe front door and was let in. He was in there for what seemedlike hours. When the chauffeur came out, Limbaugh was confusedabout why his driver had been in there so long.

"Well, First The Farmer Shook My Hand, The He Offered Me A Beer, The His Wife Brought Me Some Cookies, And His Daughter Showeredme with Kisses." Explained The Driver.

"What Did you tell the farmer?" Limbaugh asked.

The Chauffeur Replied, "I Told Him I Was Rush Limbaugh's Driverand I'D Just Killed The Pig."

--------------------------------------------- The Dissappointed Salesman of Coke Returns from His Middle East Assignment. A Friend Asked, "Why Wern't You Successful with the arabs?"

The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I did not know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters .. First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand .. totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed.Then these posters WERE PASTED All Over the Place "

"That Should Have Worked", Said The Friend. "He Replied," Well, I Didn't Know Arabic, Neither Did I realize traz read from Right to Left ... "---------- ---------------------------------- A Blonde Buys a Ticket and Wins The Lottery. He Goes To New York to claim it and the man verifies mer Ticket Number.

The Blonde Says, "I Want My 20 THOUSAND DOLLARS"

The man replied, "NO, MADAM. It Doesn't Work" We Give You'llion Doll He Give You'll Get 19 Months. "

Blonde Says, "OH, NO. I Want All My Money Right Now! I WON IT and I Want It."

Again, The Man Explained That He Would Only Get a Lakh That Day and the rest during the next 19 weeks.

Blonde, Furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my mother! If're not going to give me my 20 THOUSAND DOLLARS RIGHT NOW, THEN I WANT My 10 DOLLARS BACK!" ------- -------------------------------------- Hari and Gani Walked Toward EACH OTHER ON A Country Road Hari Carried A Burlap Bag Over His Shoulder.

"Hey Buddy," Gani Drawled, "What's in the bag?"

"Chickens," WAS the reply.

"IF i GUESS How Many, Can I Have One?"

You can have both of itm. "

"OK, FIVE?"

---------------------------------------------- TWENTY FIVE BEST RESPONSES IF Found Asleep At Your Desk

25. "OH, Man! Come in AT 6 in the morning and look what happens!" 24. "this is one of the seven" 23. "This is in Exchange for the Six Hours Last Night WHEN I Dreamed About Work! "22." You DONT Discriminate Against Those with Latient Atriminate Zymosis Yeast Syndrome, Do you ?!? "21." GEE, I Thought You (The Boss) WERE GONE for THE. "20." THEY Today might happen. "19." OH, Hi, I Was Trying to Pick Up My Contact Lens without my hands. "18." this is just a 15 minute power-nap like the raved about in the Last Time Management Course You Sent Me To. "17." Was Just Meditation "16." I Was Just Meditation A New Paradigm! "15." this is one of the seven habits of highly effective people! "14." I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance "13." Im doing the "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend. " 12. "IT WORKED Well for Reagan, DIDNT IT? "11." THIS A HIGHLY SPECIFIC YOGA POSITION TO RELIEVE WORK-Related Stress. "10." Just Pacing Myself for the all-nighter tonight! "9." I Was Working Smarter-Not Harder "8." AUGGH! I HAD Almost Figured Out A Solution To Our Biggest Problem. "IM in the management training program" 6. "The coffee machine is broker ...." 5. "Someone Mustve Put decaf in the Wrong Pot." 4. "BOY, THAT COLD Medicine I TOOK LAST Night Just Wont Wear Off!" 3. "

AH, The Unique and Unpredictable Circadian Rhythms of The Workaholic! "2." ITS Okay ... IM Still Billing The Client. "And the # 1 Response if Found Asleep AT Your Desk: 1." ... and i especially Thank You for my Excellent Boss, Amen! "------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----- 10. That Barry Maniow Is One Cool Dude.9. While I'm Up, Can I get you a beer? 8. I Think Big Butts Are Really Sexy.7. Her Breasts Are Just Too Big. 6 ...................................................................................................................... ... Let's Go Shopping - and i can shop your purse! 2. forget "Monday Night Football," Let's Watch "Ally McBeal." 1. I think We're Lost. We'd Better Pull Over and ask for Directions .-- ------------------------------------------ A Young Man Saw An Elderly COwle Sitting Down To Lunch Atmcdonald's. He Noticed That The.. Had Ordered One Meal, Andan Extra Drink Cup. AS He Watch, The Older GentleMancarefully Divided the hamburger in half, then counted outthe fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half ofthem.Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into theextra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old manthen began To Eat, And His Wife Sat Watching, With Her Handsfolded In Her LAP.

............ ..

The Old Gentleman Said, "OH, NO. We've Been Married 50Years, And Everything Has Always Been and Will Always Beshares, 50/50."

The Young Man Then Asked The Wife If She WAS Going to Eat, And She Replied, "Not Yet. It's His Turn with The Teeth .---------------------- -------------------------- AS A Doctor Completed His Eximination of the Patient He Said, "i can't Find A Cause for your Complaint. FRANKLY I think it's due to drinking. "The Patient Replied," In That Case I'll com back when you're sober! "--------------------- ------------------------- An English Teacher At Iowa State University Sprent a Lot of Time Marking Grammatade Errors in Her Students 'Written Work. She Wasn' T Sure How Much Impact She Was Having Until One Overly Busy Day When She Sat At Her Desk Rubbing Her Temples.

A Student Asked, "What's the matter, ms. dalton?"

"Tense," SHE REPLIED, DESCRIBING HER Emotional State.

After a Slight Pause The Student Tried Again, "What Was THE MATTER? What Might Have Been That Matter ...?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him in otto the living room. SHE EXCUSES Herself to go to the kitchen to make the name. as He's standarding there..................

He Picks It Up and As He's Looking At It, She Walks Back In. He Says, "What's this?"

She says, "oh, my faather's ashes are in there."

He Turns Beat Red in Horror and Goes, "Geez, Oh..i ..."

SHE SAYS, "Yeah, He's Too lazy to go to the kitcher to get an ashtray." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- Dear ________

I'm Writing this Letter Slow, Because I Know You Cannot Read Fast. We don't live. Your uncle read in The Paper That Most Accidents Happen 20 Miles from Your Home, So We Moved. I will not be able to send you the address as the last redneck who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their next house, so they would not have to change their address.This place is really nice. It even has a washing Machine, Situated Right Above the Commode. I'm Not Sure It Works Too Well. Last Week I Put in 3 Shirts, Pulled The Chain and Haven't Seen The WETHER ISN '' TOO BAD. IT RAINED Only Twice Last week. The first it rained for 4 days and second you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little Too Heavy To send in the mail with all the metal buttons, sowe cut ........................

Your Sister Had A Baby this Morning. I have's a girl or a boy, so i don't uncle. Your uncle, jack fell in a the Nearby Well. Some Men Tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best friend, Harry, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be Buried in The Sea after He Died. and your friends died while in the process of Digging a grave for his father. There isn't Much Morening Much Has Happened.

LOVE, GKV

P. S: I Was Going to send you some mother but the envelope was already seled. ------------------------------- -------------- A Woman whose husband offen camera home drunk decided to cure him of the Habit. One Halloween Night, She Put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on THE WAY HOME.WHEN HER HER HUSBAND CAME BY, She Jumped Out and Stood Before Him with Her Red Horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

"Who is you?" He asked.

"I'm the devil", she responded.

"Well, come on home with me," he said, "i married your sister." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- On The First Day of College, The Dean Addressed The Students, Pointing Out Some of The Rules.

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $ 40 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second Time Will Be Fined $ 90. Being Caught A THIRD TIME WILL INCUR A HEFTY FINE OF $ 200. Are there any qustions? "

At this, A Male Student In The Crowd Inquires, "How much for a season pass?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- Good: Your Hubby and you agree, no more kidsbad: you can't find your birth control pillsugly: your dauggwordr borrowed the

Good: Your Husband Unds Fashionbad: He's A Cross-Dresserugly: He Looks Better Than You

Good: Your Son's Finally MaturingBad: He's Involved with the Woman Next Doorugly: SO Are you

Good: Your Wife's Not Talking to Youbad: She Wants A Divorceugly: She'S A Lawyer

Good: The postman's earlyBad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47Ugly: You gave him nothing for ChristmasGood: You're son is dating someone newBad: It's another manUgly: He's you're best friend ---------- ------------------------------------ An Attractive Young Girl, Chaperoned by An Ugly Old Lady, Entered The Doctor's Office.

"We Have Come for an Examination," said the young girl.

"All Right," said the doctor. "Go Behind That Curtain and Take Your Clothes Off."

"NO, NOT ME," SAID The Girl. "It's my old aunt here."

"Very Well," said the doctor. "Madam, please stick out your tongue." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------

A Woman Was Worried Whether Not Her Dead Husband Made It To Heaven, So She Decided to Try To Contact His Spirit by Having A Seance.

Sure Enough, After The Usual Mumbo-Jumbo of Calling to the Spirits, Her Husband's Voice WAS Heard Answering, "Hello Margaret, this Is Meeee ..."

"Fred," She Answered. I Just Have to Know if You're happy there is the fold1. What's it like there? "

"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do, all Day Long, Are Eat and Sleep, Eat and Sleep, Over And over.

"Thank God, You Made It to Heaven", "His Wife Cried.

"HEAVEN?" HE ANSWERED. "What Heaven? I'm a buffalo in montana." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------- Virgin After 12 Marriages :)

A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a . virgin "This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon She responded:.." My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, 'It's gonna be great!' My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation My third. husband was from Field Services and constantly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but he just could not get the system up.My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, 'Those who can, do; those who can not , Teach. 'My Fifth Husband Was from The Telemarke ting Department and said that he had the orders, but he was not quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver. My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. His comments were that he knew how, but he just was not sure whether it was his job.My eighth husband was from STANDARDS AND Regulation and Told ME That HE WAS Up To the Standards But That Regulation Said Nothing About How To Do It.my Ninth Husband Was A Marketing Manager. He Said, 'I Know I Have The Product. I'

m just not sure how to position it. 'My tenth husband was a psychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it. My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.My twelfth Husband Was A Stamp Collector, And All He Ever Wanted to Do Was ... Well, I Miss Him! So Now I Have Married A Lawyer, And i Know I'm Going to Get Screwed. "------- --------------------------------------- Lawer's Fund

The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with honors, and then went home to join his father's firm. At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and SAID, "Father, Father, in One Day Day Been Working on For Ten Years!" His Father Responded: "You idiot, We Lived on the Funding of That Case for Ten Years!" ------------------------------------------- The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins: 1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they were guilty.2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high.3) Overcharging fees to many clients. 4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case.And the list goes on for quite awhile.The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He admits all these things, but argues, "Wait, I've Done Some Charity In My Life Also. " St. Peter Looks in His Book and Says, "Yes, I See. Once You Gave A Dime TO A Panhandler And ONCE You GAVE AN EXTRA NICKEL TO THE SHOESHINE BOY, CORRECT?" The Lawyer Gets A Smug Look on His Face and Replies "Yes." St. Peter Turns to the angel next to him and says, "give this guy 15 CENTS AND TELL HIM to Go to Hell." ----------------- ---------------------------- for Three Years, The Young attorney Had Been Taking His Brief Vacations At this Country Inn. The Last Time He'd finally management an affair with the innkeeper '

s daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why did not you write when you learned you WERE PREGNANT? "He Cried." I Well Have Rushed Up Here, WE Could Have Gotten Married, And The Baby Would Have My Name! "" "Well," She Said, "WHEN My FOLKS Found Out About My Condition, Wesat Up All Night talkin 'and talkin' and decided it Would Be Betterto Have A Bastard in The Family Than a lawyer. "--------------------------- ------------------ ONE day a blonde, brunette and redhead walk inting. As the enter their apartment building. As The enter Thei See a white puddle on the floor. The brunette BENDS DOWN LOOKS AT IT AND SAYS, "Ya That's The White Stuff!" "The Redhead Bends Down, Smells It And Says," Oh Ya That's It Alright! "

THE BLONDE BENDS DOWN, TASTE IT AND SAYS, "Sure IT IS! But it's no one from our building!" ------------------------- --------------------- One Day I gonna to malta to a big hotel, in the morning I go down to eat a breakfast. I Tell the Waitress That I want TWO PIECES OF TOAST .SHE BRINGS ME Only One Piece. I Tell Her "I Wanna Two Pieces". She say "go to the toilet". I say "don't understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate". SHE Say to Me: "You Better Not Piss on The Plate, You Sonnawa *****". I do not even know this lady and she call me a sonnawa *****!!

Later I Go To Eat At A Bigger Restaurant. The Waiter Bringsme a Spoon and a Knief But No Fock. I Tell Her "I Wanna A Fock" and She Tella Me: "Everyone Wanna ****". I Tella Her "you Don't Undertsand Me ... I Wanna Fock on The Table ". She say:" You Better not **** on the table you sonnawa *****. "SO i Go Back to my room in my hotel and There is no sheets on the bed. i call the manager and tell Him "I Wanna A Sheet". He Tell Me To Go The Toilet. I say "you don't understand I wanna a sheet on my bed". HE SAY: "You Better Not Shit on The Bed, You Sonnawa *****".

I Go to the check out and the man at the desk said "peace on you" .and i say: "piss on you too, you sonnawabices". I Gonna Back to Italy! ----------- ----------------------------------- Love Starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a Tear.

Don't cry over you.

Good Friends Are Hard To Find, Harden To Leave, And Impossible To Forget.

You can Only Go as Far as you push.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words.

The Hardest Thing to Do Is Watch The One You Love, Love Somebody Else.

Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

Life's Short. If you don't look around overche you might miss it.

A Best Friend Is Like A Four Leaf Clover, Hard to Find and Lucky to Have.

Some People Make The World Special Just By Being In It.

Best Friends Are The Siblings God Forgot To Give US.

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look should you and your best friend will be there.

True Friendship "Never" Ends. Friends Arefer.

Good Friends Are Like Stars You Don't Always See Them, But you know.. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.

What do you do when the only Person Who Can make you stop cry?????????

Nobody is Perfect Until You Fall in Love with them.

Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, the it's not the end.

Most People Walk In And Out of Your Life, But Only Friends Leave Footprints in Your Heart. ------------------------------ --------------- A Police Office Pulls a guy over for speted and has thefollowing exchange

Offer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: i don't have one. I had it supended. I got my 5th dui.

Offector: May I see the OWNER's Card for this Vehicle?

Driver: it's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The Car is Stolen?

Driver: That's Right. But come to think of it, i think I Saw theowner's card in the glove box at the '

OFFICER: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes Sir. That's Where I put it at I shot and killedthe Woman Who Owns this car and stuffed Her in the trunk.

Office: There's a body in the trunk?!?!?

Driver: yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately caled his captain. Thecar Was Quickly SurroundThe Driver To Handle The Tense Situation:

Captain: SIR, Can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here IT IS.

IT Was Valid.

Captain: WHO's Car is this?

Driver: it's mine, officer. Here's the owner 'card.

The Driver Owned The Car.

Captain: COULD you Slowly Open Your Glove Box SO i CAN SEE IFETHERE'S A GUN IT?

Driver: Yes, Sir, But There's no gun in it.

Sure Enough, There Was Nothing in The Glove Box.

Captain: Would You Mind Opening Your Trunk? I Was Told You SaiDthere's A Body In It.

Driver: no problem.

Trunk isoty; no body.

Captain: I don't understand you Saidyou Told Him You Didn't Have A License, Stole The Car, Had A Gunin The Glovebox, And That There Was A Dead Body In The Trunk.

Driver: Yeah, Andi I'll Bet The Lying Sob Told You I Was Speeding, TO ... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------ Haha, 911 joke !!

Saddam Calls Bush on 11th Sept:

Saddam: MR PRESIDENT, I Would Like to Express My Condolences Toyou. It is a real tragedy. So. WOULD LIKE TO ENSURE THAT ... IT WAS NOT US. .

Bush: What buildings? What people ??

Saddam: OH, And What Time IT IS in America NOW?

Bush: it's ele ht in the morning.

Saddam: Oops ... Will Call Back in An Hour! Bye Bye.

* * * * * *

The Prime Minister of China Called President Bush To Console Him:

"I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big paper .but in case you are missing any documents from the pentagon, wehave copies of everything.

-------------------------------------------- "That Wife of Mine is a little, "said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.

"How do you know?" The friend asked.

"She Didn't Come Home Last Night and When I asked Her Where She'd Been, She Said She Had Spent The Night with Her Sister, Shirley."

"So?"

"SO SHE's a Liar. I sprent the night with mer Sister, shirley."

--------------------------------------------- Top Ten Times in History when Using The "f" Word Was Appropriate: --------------------------------------- ------------

1) "what the f ** k was That?" - Mayor of Hiroshima

2) "WHERE DID All THESE F ** KING INDIANS COME FROM?" - CUSTER

3) "Any f ** king idiot could understand That." - Einstein

4) "It does so f ** king look like Her!" - Picasso

5) "How the f ** k Did you work what out?" - Pythagoras

6) "You want what on the f ** king ceiling?" - Michaelangelo

7) "I don't supportose it's gonna f ** king rain." - Joan of Arc

8) "Scattered f ** king showers ... my ass!" - Noah

9) "I NEED THIS PARADE LIKE I NEED A f ** King Hole in my head!" - J.F.k.

And the Number One Most Appriate Reason To Use the "f" Word ....

10) "WHO THE F ** K I Wing to KNOW?" - Bill Clinton

--------------------------------------------- i make you a Suggestion. I think much what your jokes are TOO MUCH That Nobody Has The Time To Read The Number And You Will Be More Welcome.i am Sure. --------------- ------------------------------- A very old joke. Four People, One Old Lady, Old Man, Young Lady and young man weretravelling in a train. Suddenly the train passed through a darktunnel. Suddenly the noise of kissing followed by slapping washeard. As it was dark, nobody was able to see each other andnobody knew what was happening.

.............. ..

THE WAS TALKING TOHEYOUGHINGHING TALD MAN for Being Naughty; and she appreciated the il teaching the old man a lesson.

The Young Woman Was WONDERING; "What ON Earth Made this Mad Oldman to Kiss That Old Lady When I am Here" .the old man was wondering "why this young lady hit me for theischief of the young man"

THE YOUNKING "I Wish The Traingoes Through Another Tunnel and I'll Kiss On My Back of My Handand Slap The Old Man.";) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ "I am Sorry, Madam, But I Shall Have to Charge You TWENTY DOLLARS for Pulling your Boy's TOOTH. "

"TWENTY DOLLARS! Why, I Understood You to Say That You Charged Only Four Dollars for Such Work!"

"Yes." "But this Youngster Yelled SO Terribly That He Scared Four Other Patients Out of the Office."

-------------------------------------------- WHEN My Husband and I showed Up at a Very Popular Restaurant, IT WAS CROWDED. I WENT UP To The Hostess and ask, "WILL IT BE long?" The Hostess, Ignoring Me, Kept Writing In Her Book. I asked Again, "How much of A WAIT? "The Woman Looked Up from Her Book and Said," About Ten Minutes. "A Short Time Later, WE Heard An Announcement over the Loudspeaker:" Willette B. long, your table is now ready. "

Try to translate, welcome everyone to finger: I am going to a very popular restaurant, I found a lot there. I have been asked a woman waiter: Want to wait for a long time? The waiter did not answer, continue to write something on the child. And asked: How long should wait for a waiter raised: About 10 minutes. After a while, we heard the broadcast of the restaurant in notice: Willette B.long, your seat is ready. (Waiter first The question listened to the name ....)

---------------------------------------------- Gurbachan Singh is Appearing for his University final examinationwhich consists of Y / N type questions. He takes his seat in theexamination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes acoin and starts tossing the coin and Marking the answer sheet -y for heads and n for tails.within half an Hour He is all done where it owned.

During the lastthing.

"OH, I Finished The Exam in Half and Hour". "But ...", He Says, "I am Rechecking my answers and am notplay to Tally Them withwhat i wrote."

---------------------------------------------- 50 Reasons to Be A Woman ---------------------------------------- 1. Free Drinks.2. Free Dinners (You Get The Point) .4. You Can She Thinks You're Gay. 5. You Can Hug Your Friend With Wondering if You're Gay. 6. You KNOW The Truth about whether size matters. 7. Speeding ticket? What's that? 8. New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life. 9. you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school. 10. If You Have SEX with Someone and Don't Call The Next Day, You're NOT The Devil.11. Condoms Make No Significant Difference In Your Enjoyment of Sex.12. If you have to be home in time for 90210, You CAN Say So, Out Loud.13. If You're Not Making Enough Money You Can Blame The Glass CEILING. 14. You CAN Sleep Your To The Top.15. You Can Sue The President for Sexual Harassment.16. Nothing CRUCIAL CAN Be Cut Off With Clean Sweep.17. It's Possi BLE to Live Your Whole WITHOUT EVER TAKING A Group Shower.18. No fashion faux pas you make could rival the speedo.19. brad pitt. 20. You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.21. if you cheat on your spouse, people assume it's because you're being emotionally neglected.22. yOU never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.23. you'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.24. No one passes Out when you take off your shuary. 25. If you think The person you're dating really likes you, you do '

t have to break up with them.26. Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.27. If you forget to shave, no one has to know.28. You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her ass .29. IF you get. 30. You Never Have to Reach Down Every So Offen To Make Sure Your Privates Are Still there. IF you're dumb, Some people Will Find It cute.32 . You don't have to memorize caddyShack or fletch to fit in.33. You have the Ability to Dress yourself.34. You Have An Excuse to Be a total ***** At Least Once a month.35. You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.36. If you marry someone 20 years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot.37. If you're wearing cologne, you do not have to pretend it's aftershave.38. you'll probably never see someone you know while peeing in an alley.39. you'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.40. you can quickly end any fight by crying.41 . Your friends will not think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your teeth.42. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.43. You've never had a goatee.44. Gay waiters don ' T Make You Uncomfortable.45. You'll Never Regret Piercing Your Ears. 46. You Can Fully Assess a Person Just By Looking Atate Shoes.47. You'll Never Discover You've Duped By A Wonderbra. 48. You Don't have Hair on Your Back. 49. You Know Which Glass Was Yours By The Lipstick Mark. 50. You Get To Hate Kathie Lee in The Way Only Another Woman Truly CAN.

---------------------------------------------- The guy in the BAR ----------------------------------- a guy goes Into a bar. He's sitting on the stool, enjoying His Drink When He Hears, "You Look Great!" He Looks Around - There's Nobody Near Him, So He Just Keeps Drinking His Beer.a Few Minutes Later, He He! "IT Says.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................. Guy Looks Around Again, And Again There's NoBody Around.

After Another Couple of Minutes, He Hears, "Is That A New Shirt or Something? You are absolutely glowing!" He realizes That The voice is coming from a dist of nuts on the bar. "Hey!" The guy calls to the bartender , "What's with the nuts?"

"OH," The Bartender Says "----------------------------------- ---------- A Girl Just Like Motherno Matter Which Girls He Brought Home, The Young Man Found disapproval from His Mother. A Friend Gave Him Advice. "Find A Girl Just Like Your Mother - THEN, she's bound to like her. "So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl He told his friendly adviser:." Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like mother, And Just As You Said, Mother Liked Her "." SO, "ASKED THE FRIEND," What happened? "" Nothing, "SAID The young man." My Father HATES HER! ". Note: Be bound to ... affirm ......

---------------------------------------------- 圣人常 ~ ~ ~~~~~~~ ------------------------------------------- --- One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenlydeviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and thencame back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On thenext Railway station the driver was caught. When he was questioned. He Explained That There Was A Man Standing On The Track and Hewas Not Moving from There Even After Lots of Honks etc.

.........................

Driver said: exactly, this iDiotstarted running directions the fieldstarted Running Towards The Field When a train camera version. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- A Taxi Passenger Tapped the Driver on The Shoulder To ask Him Aquestion. The Driver Screamed, Lost Control of The Car, Nearly Hita Bus, Went Upon The Footpath, and Stopped Centimeters from a shopwindow.

For A Second Everything Went Quiet in The Cab, THEN The DriversAid, "Look Mate, Don't Ever Do That Again. You Scared The Daylightsout of ME!"

The Passenger apologized and said, "I Didn't realize" a little you so much. "

The Driver Replied, "Sorry, It's Not Really Your Fault. Today Is Myfirst Day As A Cab Driver - I've Been Driving a Van Carrying Deadbodies for the last 25 years." ------------ ---------------------------------- Am Sure I Have Listened this Joke Somewhere in Some Chinese Maganize, Such As Reader Degist.if you get the Jok from a Chinese Magazine, Your Translation Skill Is Great. Would You like to Tell Me How to Improve My Translation Ability? I am looking forward to receiving your answer. ---------- ------------------------------------ Brain Tumordoctor: i regret to tell you, you have a brain tumor .

Mr. Bean: YESS !!! (Jumps in Joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what i Just Told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of Course, Do You Think I'm Dumb?

Doctor: Then why is you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because That Proves That i Have A Brain!

Mr. Bean While in Grade School

Teacher: What is 5 Plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 Plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, You'Ve Just Twisted The Figure, The Answer IS 6 !!

While In a Drug Store

Mr. Bean: I'd Like Some Vitamins for My Grandson.

Clerk: SIR, VITAMIN A, B OR C?

Mr. Bean: Any Will Do, My Grandson Doesn't Know The Alphabet Yet !!

Queuing Behind His Friend At An Atm Machine

Friend: What Are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: i know your pin no., Hee, hee.

Friend: alright, what is my pin no. If you cut?

Mr. Bean: Four Asterisks!

Marriage

Friend: How Many Women Do You Believe A Man Must Marry?

Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: why?

Mr. Bean: Because The Priest Says 4 Richer, 4 Poorer, 4 Better and 4worse.

MOM

Mr. Bean: (Crying) The Doctor Called, Mom's DEAD.

Friend: Condolence, My Friend.

After 2 minutes mr. bean cries Even Louder

Friend: What now?

Mr. Bean: My Sister Just Called, Her Mom Died Too! Mr. Bean Attending a Meeting

Colleague: Sorry I'm Late. I Got Stuck In An Elevator for 4 HRS Because of a Power Failure.

Mr. Bean: Thats Alright, Me Too ... I Got Stuck on The Escalator for 3 HRS.

Spelling Lesson

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, What is the spelling of successful .... Is IT One C or Two C?

Mr. Bean: make it three c to be sape!

-------------------------------------------- AT A DINNER PartY , the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the otherend of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "your wife must loveyou very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "you do not know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands For 'Keep IT Short, Stupid.' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------ Economic Rules Count

2004-08-13 06:05

THE GOVERNMENT SHOULDE BY Economic Rules in Decision-Making, Says An Article in Beijing News. An Excerpt Follows:

It is reported that Yinchuan municipal government in the Ningxia Hui Autonomous Region of Northwest China has decided to suspend two controversial taxi regulations after meeting a boycott by local taxi drivers. One of the regulations reducing the term for cabs being worn-out to five years from The Mandatory Eight Years Stipulated in National Vehicle Codes.

Due to its public power, the government's decisions are always mandatory and should be practised without too many obstacles. However, why did the local regulations meet with protest and were finally suspended? The reason is that the local government has neglected economic factors in decision- Making of the public policy.during setting up public ball, economic rules shouth be adided by and individual intends shouth be stressed.

Although the government's decision on public issues are compulsory, implementation of policies depends on public action. Failure to execute policies might be attributed to the high cost of the practice at hand or objection by the target group.

So decision-makers need to take into consideration target group's interests. To make the target group to voluntarily follow the regulations, the government should minimize the price paid by the target group. But in Yinchuan's case, interests of taxi drivers will be seriously hurt if The Regulations Came Into Effect. so The Taxi Drivers Took Actions To Protest The Regulations.

When seeking a solution for public issue, the government is required to take an all-around consideration, aiming at raising the comprehensive level of social welfare. Social welfare should be improved through development and co-ordination, but not reducing individual interests.

And Decision-Making Should Also Follow Rules of Property Rights and Push Forward Freedom of Economy.

The Government Should Stress Protection of CitizENS 'Property Rights and Create a Favourable LEGAL ENVIRONMENT for Insuring Values of Individual Property.

Although Policies Limiting Economic Freedom Might Spur Economic Development in The Short Term, for the long Term, They Might Have The Opposite Effects. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- A Chinese American girl faces two different cultural collision protagonists in a US private high school: Katharine Wang, referred to as KAT

I have read this book, I have read this book, and now I will introduce yourself to everyone. But even the first time I wrote a similar stuff, I hope everyone criticizes

[This section: Kiara, Sunny: Become a new Mr Blaah of Kat "Dead Party" in the future.

"But there was more to this class retreat tradition besides making smores which were toased marshmallow and slabs of chocolate sandwiched between two large crakers, and doing fun little ice breakers." When the school, newborn go camping or mountain climbing is the Jones School tradition, Call it as "class Retreat". "Smores" is a food name, but it can't be found in the dictionary, and KAT is given. "Craker" is the kind of tasteless big pizza, "smores" is made of soft sugar and chocolate on two such "Cracker" (delicious, but flooding). "Class Retreat" theme is of course not eating, but "doing ice breaker" is through various activities, eliminating the strangeness between new students, just like our military training, but "class retreat" can be trained, "cruel "

"THE REST OF US WERE UP, SITTING INDIA Style or Crushed In Odd Position Against The Tent." At night, girls chat in the tent, their positions, some drilling into the sleeping bag; some with "india style" Sitting, that is, sitting on the leg; some skewers are on the tent. Look at the situation is almost familiar during the day, everyone is quite casual.

"She Kept to Herself But Listen Attentively To Other People." "SHE" refers to Kiara, a woman who is a quiet person in front of you, when people speak, she "Keep To Herself": not to Mix With or talk to other people, but she is never disdainfully communicating, because she is very focused on listening. I like Karia has an extroverted and introverted female girl, in a strange environment, generally chooses to listen to it, not saying

"He Was Breadwinner of the family." He "refers to Kat's dad, a IT person working in Silicon Valley, is a" breadwinner "of KAT home, is a person who makes money. Kat, the student received by the Jones private high school, most of the family, what ambassador, daughter's daughter, there is still a princess of a small country, and the child like the middle class like KAT seems to be "lonely" in Jones.

"Our Conversation Traveled From Boys to Ambitions and Back to Boys and Ghost Stories Again." The little girl is together, the topic is always inseparable from Boys, Ghosts, or talk about their ambition, ideal. "Travel from ... back to ..." illustrates the randomness and relative concentration of topics. Oh, the topic of the little girl, regardless of Chinese and foreign, seems to be almost "I Pitched in a Hand." The next morning, when other students still call the tent, KAT got up to help life. Prepare breakfast. "Pitch In A Hand" is a helper, help me. KAT is really a "deep-worry" inherited from Chinese people. She got up early to give a good impression, because her goal is clear: she wants to be Freshman Class President.

"SHE WAS in My Same Advisory Group and We Had The Same Big Sister." SHE "refers to Sunny, a Chinese girl with his parents to the United States, and later become a friend of Kat. Kat thought it was very early, I didn't expect Sunny, I got up in helping breakfast, hey, Chinese children are sensible. "Big Sister" is the old born for new students to conduct a pair of counseling classes, they will help new students to adapt to new life in Jones.

"HE WAS VERTICALLEENGED." "He" refers to Mr Blaah, a teacher who is young but not high. The old beauty is very euphemistic, not directly stimulating people, and saying "vertically challenged", height lacks competitiveness, actually tells people. "X challenged" is a fixed match, that is, the X side is relatively weak. For example, "Physically Challenged" (weak), "mathematically challenged" (mathematical difference), etc.

-------------------------------------------- Li Jun memory Superman - English word wonderful manual A Chapter 29 CHM format file: http://molih.myetang.com/English/Words.rar

Day 1: A - 1: ABACK ~ ABLUTION (23) Once Upon A Time, There Was An Abbss In A Small Abbey. She Was Very Kind, But One Day She Was Abetted by All Abject Abbot. He Abducted Her Abed! After several months, her abdomen grew high, which abashed her very much and abased her to some degree. She abjured the abhorrent relationship. The abbot was taken aback and could not abide her abeyance. So she decided to abdicate. She gave a simple ablution and left the abbey with tears ablaze in her eyes. The pain in her heart abated. She abhorred her baby so much that she abandoned her in the abbey. that day when she left, she only brought with her a lovely abacus, which had the ABBREVIATION OF HER Name. A long time ago, there was a dean of a female monastery in a small monastery. She is very good, but one day she is teatched by a despicable man. He abducted her to bed. After a few months, her abdomen drums, which made her very shy and gave her to a certain extent. She vowes this disgusting relationship. The male monastery is very surprised and can't stand her abort. So she decided to return. She has conducted a simple ceremony, and then her eyes had a shining tear and left the monastery. The pain in her heart is reduced. She hate her baby, so she abandon her in the monastery. On the day, she took only her beloved abacus. There is an abbreviation of her name on the abacus.

----------------------------------------------the next day: A - 2:. abnegate ~ absolve (25 th) An aboriginal called Jim was an abnormal man His wife died from an abortion His wife and he had lived abreast for 20 years from then on, he became absolute and abrupt He abominated... the king and one day he a-bombed the king's abode. The A-bomb hurt nobody over and above the abraded king, causing the abscess. Jim absconded abroad, then was caught aboard a ship. The king was an above board man. above all, he abnegated himself and found out the reason. Secondly, he absolved Jim's death. thirdly, he organized a meeting and nobody dared to be absent-minded. In the meeting, he abolished or abrogated some laws. By the way, the author Abridged The Above-Menting Story. Antirates named Jim is a metamorphosis. His wife died in abortion. They lived in parallel for 20 years. From then on, he became authorized and rude. Jim dislike the king and one day he bombed the king's residence with the atomic bomb. In addition to scratching the skin of the king, the atomic bomb did not hurt anyone. Jim shed abroad, and later captured on the boat. The king is a bright and big person. First, he broke himself to figure out the cause. Second, he pardoned Jim's death penalty. Third, he organized a meeting, no one dared to be absent-minded. In the meeting, he waited or abolished some laws. By the way, the author has a story about the above.

----------------------------------------------

1 / 200.There Are Three Kinds of Goals: Short-Term, Medium-Range and Long-Term Goals.Short-Range Goals Are Those That Usually Deal with Current Activities, Which We can apply on a daily basis.such Goals Can BE achieved in a week or less, or two weeks, or possible months.It should be remembered that just as a building is no stronger than its foundation, out long-term goals can not amount to very munch without the achievement of solid short-term goals .Upon completing our short-term goals, we should date the occasion and then add new short-term goals that will build on those that have been completed.The intermediate goals bukld on the foundation of the short-range goals.They might deal with just one term of school or the entire school year, or they could even extend for several years.Any time you move a step at a time, you should never allow yourself to become discouraged or overwhelmed. As you complete each step, you will enforce The belief in Your Ability To Grow Adn succeed.and as your list of co mpletion dates grow, your motivation and desire will increase.Long-range goals may be related to our dreams of the future. They might cover five years or more. Life is not a static thing.We should never allow a long-term goal to Limit US or Our Course OF Action.

1.OR Long-Term Goals Mean a Lot__. A.if We Complete Our Short-Range Goalsb.if We Cannot Reach Solid Short-Term Goalsc.if We Write Down The datess.if We Put Forward Some Plans2.new Short-Term goals are bulid upon __. a.two yearsb.long-term goalsc.current activitiesd.the goals that have been completed3.When we complete each step of our goals, __. a.we will win final successb.we are overwhelmedc.we should build up confidence of successd.we should strong desire for setting new goals4.Once our goals are drawn up, __. a.we should stick to them until we complete themb.we may change our goals as we have new ideas and opportunitiesc.we had better wait for the exciting news of successd.we have made great decision5.It is implied but not stated in the passage that ___. a.those who habe long-term goals will succeedb.writing down the dates may discourage youc.the goal Is Only a guide for US to reach Our desinationd.every Should Have A Goal -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------ 1/200 answer: ADCBC

2/200

The economy of the United states after 1952 was the econnomy of a well-fed, almost fully employed people. Despit occasional alarms, the country escaped any postwar depression and lived in a state of boom. A n economic survey of the year 1955, a typical year of the 1950's, may be typical as illustrating the rapid economic growth of the decade. The national output was value at 10 percent above that of 1954 (1955 output was estimated at 392 billion dollars). The production of manufacturers was about 40 percent more than it had averaged in the years immediately following World War 2. The country's business spent about 30billion dollars for new factories and machinery. National income available for spending was almost a third greater than it had been it had been in 1950. Consumers spent about 256 Billion Dollars; That Is About 700 Million Dolls A Day, or About Twenty-Five Million Dollars Every Hour, All Round The Clock. Sixty-Five Million People Held Jobs and Only A Little More Than Two M illion wanted jobs but could not find them. Only agriculture complained that it was not sharing in the room. To some observers this was an ominous echo of the mid-1920's. As farmer's shre of their products declined, marketing costs rose. But there were , among the observers of the national economy, a few who were not as confident as the majority. Those few seemed to fear that the boom could not last and would eventually lead to the oppsite-depression.1. What is the best title of the Passage? a. The Agriculatural Trends of 1950'sb. The Unemployment Rate of 1950'sc. US Economy In 1952d. The Federal Budget Of 1952

2. In Line 4, the word "boom" could best be replaced by ______. A. Nearby explosionb. Thunderous noisec. General public supportd. Rapid economic growth3. It can be inferred the national from the passage that most people in the United States in 1955 Viewed The National Economy with AN AIR OF _________. A. Confidence b. Confusionc. Disappinkment d. Suspidence

4. Which of the folloading were Least Satisfied with the national economy in the 1950 's. Economistsb. FrMaers c. Politicaliansd. Steelworkers

5. The Passage States That Incom Available for Spending In The U.S. WAS Greater in 1955 Than in 1950. How much was it? A. 60% b. 50% C. 33% d. 90%

---------------------------------------------- 2/200 answer : CDABC3 / 200

Women are also underrepresented in the administration and this is because there are so few women full professors. In 1985, Regent Beryl Milburn produced a report blasting the University of Texas System adminitration for not encouraging women.The University was rated among the lowest for the system .In a 1987 update, Milburn commended the progress that was made and called for even more improvement.One of the positive results from her study was a System-wide program to inform women of available administrative jobs.College of Communication Associate Dean Patrica Witherspoon, said it is important that woman be flexible when it comesto relocating if they want to rise in the ranks.Although a woman may face a chilly climate on campus, many times in order for her to succeed, she must rise above the problems around her and Concentrate On Her Work.until Women Make Up A Greater Percentage of The Senior Positions in The University and All Academia, INEQUITIES WILL EXST. "Women Need to spend their en ergies and time doing scholarly activities that are important here at the University. "Spirduso said." If they do that will be successful in this system.If they spend their time in little groups mourning the sexual discrimination that they think exists here, they are wasting valuable study time. "1.According to Spirduso, women need to ____. a.produce a report on sexual discriminationb.call for further improvement in their working conditionsc.spend their energies and time fighting against sexual discriminationd.spend more time and energy Doing Scholarly Activities

2.From this passage, we know that _____. A.there are many women full professors in the University of Texasb.women play an important part in adminitrating the Universityc.the weather on the campus is chillyd.women make up a small percentage of the senior positions in the University3.Which of the following statements is true? a.the number of women professors in the University in 1987 was greater than that of 1985b.the number of women professors in the University in 1987 was smaller than that of 1985 C.The Number of Women Professors Was The Same As That of 1985d.More and More Women Professors Thought That Sexual Discrrimination Did in the University

4.One of the positive results from Milburn's study was that _____. A.women were told to con centrate on teir work b.women were given information about available administrative jobs c.women were encouraged to take on all the administrative jobs in the Unversityd .Women Wee Encouraged to do more Scholarly Activities

5. The title for this passage should be _______. A.The University of Texasb.Milburn's Reportc.Women Professorsd.sexual Discrrimination in Academia

---------------------------------------------- 3/200 answers : DDABD

4/200

Today, as in every other day of the year, more than 3000 US adlescents will smoke their first cigarette on their way to becoming regular smokers as adults. During their lifetime, it can be expected that of these 3000 about 23 will be murdered, 30 will die in traffic accidents, and nearly 750 will be killed by a smoking-related disease. The number of deaths attributed to cigarette smoking outweithts all other factors, whether voluntary or involuntary, as a cause of death.Since the late 1970s, when daily smoking among high school seniors reached 30 precent, smoking rates among youth have declined. While the decline is impressive, several important issues must be raised.First, in the past several years, smoking rates among youth have declined very little. Second, in the late 1970s, smoking among male high school seniors exceeded that among female by nearly 10 percent. The statistic is reversing.Third, several recent studies have indicate high school dropouts have excessively high smoking rates, as much as 75 percent .Finally, thouth significant declines in adolescent smoking have occurred in the past decade, no definite reasons for the decline exist. Within this context, the Naional Cancer Instiute (NCI) began its current effort to determine the most effecive measures to reduce smoking levesl among youth.1.According to the author, the deaths among youth are mainly caused by _____. a.traffic accidentsb.smoking-related deseasec.murderd.all of these

2.every day there is over____high school strDents WHO Will Become Regular Smoker.a.75 B.23 C.30 D.3000

3.By "dropout" the author means ______. A.students who failed the examinationb.students who left schoolc.students who lost their wayd.students who were driven out of school4.The reason for declining adolescent smoking is that ________. A.NCI HAS Taken Effective MeasureSb.smoking is prevented among high school seniorsc.there Are Many Smokers Who Have Died of Cancerd.none of There

5.What is implied but not stated by the author is that ________. A.smoking rates among youth have declined very little b.there are now more female than male smokers among high school seniorsc.high smoking rates are due to the incease in wealthd . Smoking at high school area from low socio-economic backgrounds

---------------------------------------------- 4/200 answer : BDBDB

5/200

The food we eat seems to have profound effects on our health.Although science has made enormous steps in making food more fit to eat, it has, at the same time, made many foods unfit to eat. Some research has shown that perhaps eighty percent of all human illnesses are related to diet and forty percent of cancer is related to the diet as well, especially cancer of the colon. Different cultures are more likely to cause certain different illnesses because of the food that is characteristic in these cultures. that food is related to illness is nto a new discovery. in 1945, about 35 years ago, government researchers realized that nitrates, commonly used to preserve color in meats, and other food additivies, caused cancer. Yet, these carcinogenic additives remain in our food, and it becomes more difficult all the time to know which things on the packaging labels of processed food are helpful or harmful. The additives which we eat are not all so direct. Farmers often give penicillin to beef and l iving animals, and because of this, penicillin has been found in the milk of treated cow. Sometimes similar drugs are given to animals not for medical purposes, but for financial reasons. The farmers are simply trying to fatten the animals in order to obtain a higher price on the market. Although the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has tried repeatedly to control these procedures, the practices continue.1.What is the best possible title of the passage? a.Drug and Food b.Cancer and Healthc. Food and healthd.health and drug

2.Which of the following statements is NOT ture? A.Drugs are always given to animals for medical reasonsb.Some of the additives in our food are added to the food itself and some are given to the living animalsc.Researchers have known about the potential dangers of food additives for over thirty-five years.d.Food may cause forty percent of cancer in world.3.How has science done something harmful to mankind? a.Because of science, diseases caused by polluted food haven been virtually eliminated .b.It has caused a lack of information concerning the value of food.c.Because of the application of science, some potentially harmful substances have been added to food.d.The scientists have preserved the color of meats, but not of vegetables .

4.What area Nitrate Used for? A.They Preserve Flavor In Packaged Foods.b.they Preserve The Color of Meats.c.They Are The Objects of Research.d.They Cause The Animals To Become Fatter.

5.The Word 'Carcinogenic' Most Near Means '_____'. A.Trouble-MakingB.color-retainingc.money-Makingd.cancer-Cause

-------------------------------------------- as the pace of life continues to increase, we are fast losing the art of relaxation. Once you are in the habit of rushing through lift, being on the go from morning till night, it is hard to slow down. But relaxation is essential for a healthy mind and body.Stress is an natural part of everyday lift and there is no way to avoid it. In fact, it is not the bad thing it is often supposed to be .A certain amount of stress is vital to provide motivation adn give purpose to life . It is only when the stress gets out of control that it can lead to poor performance and ill health.The amount of stress a person can withstand depends very much on the individual. Some people are not afraid of stress, and such characters are obviously prime material for managerial responsibilities. Others lose heart at the first signs of unusual difficulties. When exposed to stress, in whatever form, we react both chemically and physically. in fact we make choice between "fi ght "or" flight "and in more primitive days the choice made the difference between life or death. The crises we meet today are unlikely to be so extreme, but however little the stress, it involves the same response. It is when such a reaction lasts long, through continued exposure to stress, that health becomes endangered.Such serious conditions as high blood pressure and heart disease have established links with stress.Since we can not remove stress from our lives (it would be unwise to do so even if we Could), We need to find ways to deal with it.

1.People are finding less and less time for relaxing themselves because _____. A.they do not know how to enjoy themselvesb.they do not believe that relaxation is important for healthc.they are travelling fast all the time d.they are becoming busier with their work2.According to the writer, the most important character for a good manager is his ________. a.not fearing stressb.knowing the art of relaxationc.high sense of responsibilityd.having control over performance

3.Which of the follwing statements is ture? A.We can find some ways to avoid stressb.Stress is always harmful to peoplec.It is easy to change the hagit of keeping oneself busy with work.d.Different people can withstand different amounts Of stress

4.Nin Paragraph 3, "Such A Reaction" ReferS back to _______. A. "MAKING A Choice Between 'Flight' or 'Fight'" b. "Rection to Stress Both Chemical and Physical" c. "Responding to crises Quickly" D "Losing Heart At the Signs Difficulties"

5.in The lastsence of the passage, "do so" refers to ______. A. "Expose urselves to stress" b. "Find Ways to DEAL with Stress" c. "Remove Stress from our lives" D. "Established Links Between Diseases and Stress

----------------------------------------------

6/200 answer: DADBC

In the 1960s, many young Americans were dissatisfied with American society. They wanted to end the Vietnam War and to make all of the people in the US epual. Some of them decided to "drop out" of American society and form their own societies. They formed utopian communities, which they called "communes," where they could follow their philosophy of "do your own thing." A group of artists founded a commune in southern Colorado called "Drop City." Following the ideas of philosopher and architect Buckminster Fuller they built domeshaped houses from pieces of old cars. Other groups, such as author Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters, the followers fo San Francisco poet Steve Gakin, and a group that called itself the Hog Farm, lived in old school huses and traveled around the United States. The Hog Farm become famous when they helped organize the Woodstock Rock Festival in 1969. Steve Gaskin's followers tried to settle down on a farm in Tennessee, but they had to leave when some members of the gruop were arrested for growing marijuana.Not all communes believed in the philosophy of "do you own thing," however. Twin Oaks, a commune founded in Virgiania in the late 1960s, was based on the ideas of psychologist BFSkinner. The people who lived at Twin Oaks were carefully controlled by Skinner's "conditioning" techniques to do things that were good for the community. in 1972, Italian architect Paolo Soleri began to build Arcosanti, a utopian city Arizsona where 2500 people will live closely together in one large building Called an "Archology" SOLERI Believes That People So That They Will All Become ONE.

1.Why Did Some Young Americans Decide to "Drop Out" of Scoiety During The 1960s? A.they were not satisfied with american society.b.they wanted to growth.b.c.they wanted to go to the vietnam beted.d. THED NOT WANT ALL TO BE Equal.2.where Did The Members of The Hog Farm Commun Live? A.in Dome-Shaped Houseb.in Old School Husesc.on A Farm Intennesed.in An Archology in Arizona

3.Who Gave The People Of Drop City The IDEA TO BULID DOME-SHAPED HOUSE? A.PAOLO SOLERIB.B.G.Skinnerc.Steve Gaskind.Buckminster Fuller

4.What Was The Twin Oaks Commune Base ON? A.THE Philosophy of "Do Your Own" B.virginaia in The Late 1960 Sc.The Ideas of Psychologistd.The Belief That People Must Live Closely Togerher.

5.What is an "archology"? A.a Person Who Studies Archaeologyb.a large building where people live closely togetherc.a city in a rizonad.a Technique to Contranad

---------------------------------------------- 6/200 answer : Abdcb

7 / 200There are two factors which determine an individual's intelligence. The first is the sort of brain he is born with. Human brains differ considerably, some being more capable than others. But no matter how good a brain he has to begin with, an individual will have a low order of intelligence unless he has opportunities to learn. So the second factor is what happens to the individual-the sort of environment in which he is reared. If an individual is handicapped envionmentally, it is likely that his brain will fail to develop and he will never attain the level of intelligence of which he is capable.The importance of environment in determining an individual's intellingence can be demonstrated by the case history of the identical twins, Peter and Mark X. Being identical, the twins had Identical Brains at Birth, And Their Growth Processes Were The Same. When the Twins Were Three Months Old, Their Preents Died, and They Were Placed In Separate Foster Was Reated by PARENTS O f low intelligence in an isolatedcommunity with poor educational pooprtunities.Mark was reared inthe home of well-to-do parents who had been to college. He was read to as a child, sent to good schools, and given every opportunity to be stimulated intellectually .This enviromental difference continued until the twins were in their late teens, when they were giben tesets to measure their intelligence. Mark's IQ was 125, twenty-five points higher than the average and fully forty points higher than his identical brother. Given equal opportunities , The Twins, Having Identical Brains, Would Have Tested At Roughly The Same Level.

1.This selection can best be titled _________. A.Measuring Your Intelligenceb.Intelligence and Environment c.The Case of Peter and Markd.How the brain Influences Intelligence2.The beststatement of the main idea of this passage is that _____. A.human brains differ considerablyb.the brain a person is born with is improtant in determining his intelligencec.environment is crucial in determining a person's intelligenced. persons having identical brains will have roughly the same intelligence

3.According to the passage, the average I.q.is _____. A.85B.100C.110D.125

4.The case history of the twins appears to support the conclusion that _______. A.individual with identical brains seldom test at same levelb.an individual's intelligence is determined only by his enviromentc.lack of opportunity blocks the growth of intelligenced.changes of enviroment Produce Changes in the structure of the ba

5.This passage suggests That An Individual 's i.q .______. A.can be predicted at birthb.stays the Same throuthout his lifec.can be increaged by educationd.is determined by His Childhood

---------------------------------------------- 8/200 answers : BCBCC

9 / 200As she walked round the huge department store, Edith reflected how difficult it was to choose a suitable Christmas present for her father.She wish that he was as easy to please as her mother, who was always delighted with perfume

Besides, shoppong at this time of the year was a most disgreeable experience: people trod on your toes, poked you with their elbows and almost knocked you overin their haste to get to a bargain ahead of you.

Partly to have a rest, Edith paused in front of a counter where some attracive ties were on display. "They are real silk," the assistant assured her, trying to tempt her. "Worth double the price." But edit knew from past experience that her choice of ties hardly ever pleased her father.She moved on reluctantly and then quite by chance, stopped where a small crowd of man had gathered round a counter. She found some good quality pipes on sale ----- and the PRICES WERE VERY REASONABLE. EDITH DID NOT HESITATE for Long: Althought Her Father, She Knew That THIS A Present Which Was Bund To pleaseh.

When she got home, with her small well-chosen present concealed in her handbag, her parents were already at the supper table. Her mother was in an especially cheerful mood, "Your father has at last to decided to stop smoking." She informed Her Daughter.

1.EDith's Father _______. A.did Not Like Presentb.never Got Presentc.Preferred Tiesd.was Difficult To Choose a Present for

2.The Assistant Spoke to Edith Because She Seemed _______. A.attractive B.INTERESTED in Tiesc.TIREDD.IN NEED OF Comfort

3.EDith stopped at the next counter _________. A.puroselyb.suddenlyc.unwillinglyd.accidentAnTally

4.EDith's Father Smoked a Pipe _______. A.when he was obligedb.on solid Occasionsc.from time to timed.when he Was Delighted

5.Shopping was very disagreeable at that time of the year because _______. A.coustomers trod on each other's toesb.coustomers poked each other with their elbowsc.customers knocked each otherd.customers were doing their shopping in a great hurry

---------------------------------------------- 9/200 answers : Dbdcd

10 / 200If the population of the earth goes on increasing at its present rate, there will eventually not be enough resources left to sustain life on the planet.By the middle of the 21st century, if present trends continue, we will have used up all the oil that drives our cars, for example.Even if scientists develop new ways of feeding the human race, the crowded conditions on earth will make it necessary for lus to look for open space somewhere else. But none of the other planets in our solar system are capable of supporting life at present. One possible solution to the problem, however, has recently been suggested by American scientist, Professor Carl Sagan.Sagan believes that before the earth's resources are compleetely exhausted it will be possible to change the atmophere of Venus AND SO CREATE A New World Almost As Large As Earth Itself. The Difficult Is That Venus Is Much Hotter Than The Earth and There I Tiny Amount of Water There.

Sagan proposes that algae organisms that can live in extremely hot or cold atmospheres and at the same time produce oxygen, should be bred in condition similar to those on Venus.As soon as this has been done, the algae will be placed in small rockets. Spaceeship Will Then Fly to Venus and Fire The Rockets Into The Atmosphere .in A Fairly Short Time, The Alge Will Break Down The Carbon Dioxide Into Oxygen and Carbon.

When the algae have done theri work, the atmosphere will become cooler, but befor man can set foot on Venus it will be neccessary for the oxygen to produce rain. The surface of the planet will still be too hot for man to land on it but .........

1.Inte long run, the most insoluble problem caused by population growth on earth will probably be the lack of ______.a.food b.oilc.spaced.resources2.Carl Sagan believes that Venus might be colonized from earth because _____a.it might Be Possible to change it its atmosphereb.its atmosphere is the Same as the eighth'sc.there is a good support.there on venusd.the days on venus are long enough

3.on venus there is a lot of ________. A.water b.carbon Dioxidec.carbon monoxided.oxygen

4.Algae are Plants That can____.a.live in Very Hot TemperatureSb.Live In Very Cold Temperature.Manufacture Oxygend.All of The Above

5. Man Can Land on Venus Only when _______. A.The Algae Have Done Their Workb.The Atmosphere Becomes Coolerc.Thereis Oxygend.it Rains There

---------------------------------------------- 10/200 answer : CABDD

11 / 200What is your favourite colour? Do you like yellow, orange, red? If you do, you must be an optimist, a leader, an active person who enjoys life, people and excitement. Do you prefer greys and blues? Then you are probably quiet, shy, and you would rather follow than lead. you tend to be a pessimist. At least, this is what psychologists tell us, and they should know, because they have been seriously studying the meaning of colours preference, as well as the effect that colours have on human beings. They tells us, among other facts, that we do not choose our favourite clour as we grow up ---- we are born with our preference.If you happen to love brown, you did SO, As Soon as you Opened your Eyes, or at Least As Soon as You Could See Clearly.

Colours do influence our moods ---- there is no doubt about it .A yellow room makes most people feel more cheerful and more relaxed than a dark green one;. And a red dress brings warmth and cheer to the saddest winter day On the other hand, black is depressing. A black bridge over the Thames River, near London, used to be the scene of more suicides than any other bridge in the area ---- until it was repainter green.The number of suicide attempts immediately fell sharply; perhaps it would have fallen even more if the bridge had been done in pink or baby blue.Light and bright colours make people not only hppier but more active It is an established fact that factory workers work better, harder, and have fewer. Accident When Their Machines Are Painted Orange Rather Than Black Or Grey.

1. "You would rather follow than red" means_______.a.you do not like to follow othersb.you would be a member rather than a leaderc.you would be afraid of following othersd.you would like to be a leader rather than a FOLLOWER

2.if one enjoys life, one is sure to prefer_______.a.red to yellowb.blue to orange c.red to greyd.blue to Yellow

3. "They Tell US, AMONG OTHER FACTS, THAT WE DON 'we grow up." "Among Other Facts" means ______. A.Besides Other Factsb.in Regard To Other Factsc.not Considering Other Factsd. According to other facts

4.Which of the following is facts? A.People's preference of one colour to another is instinctb.People's preference of one colour to another is acquired as they grow up.c.More people happen to love brown because they saw something brown when they Were Bornd.colours have little influnce on Our moods

5.Those Who Committed Suicide Preferred The Bridge over the Thames River Near London To Others Because Of _______. A.its Shape B.its Structurec.its Color D.its Building Materials ------------- ---------------------------------- 11/200 answer: BCAAC

12 / 200Social customs and ways of behaving change. Things which were considered impolite many years ago are now acceptable. Just a few years ago, it was considered impolite behaviour for a man to smoke on street. No man who thought of himself by smoking when a lady waste in a room.

Customs also differ from country to country. Does a man walk on the left or the right of a woman in your country? Or does not it matter? Should you use both hands when you are eating? Should leave one in your lap, or On the table?

The Americans and the British not only speak the same language but also share a large number of social customs. For example, in both America and England people shake hands when they meet each other for the first time. Also, most Englishmen will open a door for a wonman or offer their seat to a woman, and so will most Americans. Promptness is important both in England and in America. that is, if a dinner invitation is for 7 o'clock, the dinner guest either arrives close to that time OR calls up to explain his delay.

The important thing to remember about social customs is not to do anything that might make other people feel uncomfortable ----- especially if they are your guests. When the food was served, one of the guests strated to eat his peas with a knife ............................ ..

1.if one Has Accepted A DINNER INVITATION, What SHOULD HE DO if He is TOBE LATE for THE DINNER? A.he SHOULD FIND An Excuseb.he Should Adk for Excuse.c.he SHOULD SAY SORRYD.HE SHOULD TELEPHONE TO EXPLAIN HIS Being Late.2. "It would Have Been Bad Manners to make His Guests Feel Foolish or uncomfortable." "Bad manners" means ________. A.uglyb.dishonestc.impolited.shameful

3.Which of the folloading do you think the best tiltle for this passage? A.social customs and customsb.Social Lifec.American and British Customsd.Promptness Is Important

4.according to the text, the best host _______. A.tries his Best to make his guests feel comfortableb.makes his guests feel Excitedc.tries TO Avoid Being Naughty to His Guestsd.Tries To Avoid Being Foolish

5.The author of this article may agree with which of the following? A.The guest who ate his peas with a knifeb.The other guests who were amused or shockedc.The host who picked up his knife and began eating in the same wayd .None of the Above

--------------------------------------------- Graphite Graphite Grasshopper 蜢, Locust, small reconnaissance machine gravel, gravel layer Grease grease, bribe Grumble stated, muttered, Growl roaring, complaints Grunt snoring, 哝哝 Gutter sink, drain, slot, slot, slot, slot, slot, slot, slum, slum, slot, slums. Cheers, pay tribute, greet, make the hail, fierce Halve second-class, flat, share, halved Harbour (= Harbor) Harp Harp playing the harp, not stopping, chattering lunderpneumaticpolarponderporcelainpostulatepoultrypilgrimpineapplepiouspiratepitchplagueplateaupleadpluckplumppneumaticpokepolarponderporcelainpostalpostulatepoultybargain-basementadj poor quality; cheap bargainee [bB: ^ i5ni:]... n buyers A bargain is a bargain [saying] sale whiz; agreement can not be torn. Drive a hard bargain (on something) is a great bargain; insist on harsh conditions Drive a Hard Bargain over. (on something) Bargain; adhere to the harsh conditions INTO the Bargain; additional; and (in agreed conditions) Additional Best of A Bad Bargain, for the disorder or adversity of the stretching; good and adversited Sell Sb. A Bargain [Waste] 弄人 Bargain Away is cheap for sale; sacrifice; sale; sale Bargain on expectations; trust

Forward Bargain Futures Transaction Price Bargain Bargain A Bad Break Freedients Unreasoning

Break the news to sb. Leaked someone in Trees Break the for the the wind. Tree minus wind. The Prism Broke The Light Into All The Colors of The Rainbow. The prism decreases the light of the color. The Story Broke In a Morning Paper. The message revealed in a morning newspaper. The situation is moving towards us in the direction of our direction. Give Him A Break. Give him a chance to change! Breakawayn. Drake (cow, sheep, etc.) running Break-Promisen. People who don't keep credit; uninforcers a good break, good opportunity; good luck Make A Break for IT [Oral] (不注意注意时)) 绝交交交交交交交交交交交交交交交交交交交交交交交交; 交交;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; The jacket starts using Break Short Off. Break through the breakthrough from the back (in scientific research) has major discovery; breaking Break Up Into breakthrough; split into Break with ... Broken Automatic Break automatically disconnect Back Break Blasting hole) Rear fissure Baseline Break Baseline Interrupt Isolocus Break Equal Fracture Light Break Room Staggered Break STEAK STEM BREAK [】] Stem discoloration, brown

Go Burst [mouth] bankrupt, failed Running for campaign

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-------------------------------------------- ARRAY Dress Up BAFFLE Frustration BAZAAR market, cheap shop BESTOW put ××× to bishop bishop Bleach bleach, whitening Blaze Burning BLIND Curtain Blouse Blue Bonder Boiler Boiler Boiler Bourgeois bourgeois Boycott United Resisted ---- ---------------------------------------- To Cut a deal is doing business Aspect, or reach an agreement in justice and the other party. Let's give you an example. This is a husband telling his friends about him and his wife divorced.

Example - 1: The Two of US Argoed a year - WHO GOT The House, The Furniture, The Car? Butur Lawyers Finally Cut A Deal Which We Both Thought WAS FAIR. SO At Last Everything is settled.

Example 2: My Dad Has Not Been Happy With My Grades At School. But Yesterday I Promised Him To Work Harder. Finally, We Cut A DEAL. He SAID I GOT ALL A'S SEMESTER, He'll Let Me Go To The Summer Camp, or Buy ME A New Car.

Example 3: I Tried to Cut Corners by Fixing My Car Myself Instead of Taking IT Back to The dealer. But it cost me Money in the long run. The whole transmission dropped...............

This person said: I want to take the car, don't send the car to the company. This is so cheap. However, from the long run, spend me more money. When I drove on the circular road, the entire transmissory was lost.

Examples 4:. Since the company laid off more than one hundred employees, I was given the responsibility not only for production and marketing, but also for personnel as well No matter how hard I tried to cut corners, there's still not enough time for me To finish my work. --------------------------------- -A "Guilt Trip" Means Guilty Feelings One Has About Doing Something Wrong. To "Give Someone a Guilt Trip" Means to Try And make Him Feel Guilty.

I Said "Let's Stick Around." That Means to Stay or Remain in a place. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- It's faultbilly and bobby were small boys. They were brothers, and they offen had fasts with each other.

Last Saturday Their Mother Said To Them, "I'm Going to Cook Our Lunch Now Out and Play In The Garden-and Be Good."

"Yes, Mummy," The Two Boys Answered, And They Went Out.

THE PLAYEDIN The Garden for Half An Hour, And The Billy Ran Into The Kitchen. "Mummy," He Said, "Bobby's Broken A Window In Mrs.allen's House." MRS. Allen was one of their neighbors.

"He's A Bad Boy," His Mother Said. "How Did HE BREAK IT?"

"I Threw A Stone At Him," Billy Answered, "And He Quickly Moved Down."

-------------------------------------------- Alexander The Great

Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation, and the doctor, somewhat nettled, said: "Landon, you do not seem to be getting on very fast in this subject.You seem to lack ambition.Why, at your age Alexander the Great Had Conquered Half The World. "

"Yes," Said Landon, "He COULDN'T Help IT, For You Will Recall The Fact, Doctor, That Alexander The Great Had Aristotle for a Teacher."

-------------------------------------------- Not Here

Kathy and Polly Were Friends But They Liked Playing Tricks on each other

One Day Kathy Met Polly in The Street. She Said, "Hi, Polly. It's Good to see you."

"How can you see me when I'm not here?" "What do you mean, you 'Re not here?" Kathy asked. "Of course you' re here."

"NO, I'm NOT." Polly said. "And I'll Bet You Ten Doll Here."

"Alright," Said Kathy. "Ten Dollars. Now Prove You 'Re not here."

"Easy," Polly Said, "AM I in Hong Kong?"

"No," said kathy.

"Am i in paris?"

"No," said kathy.

"IF I'M NOT IN Hong Kong and I'm Not in Paris," Polly Said, "Then I Must Be Somewhere Else. Right?"

"Right," Said Kathy. "You Must Be Somewhere Else."

"Exactly." SAID Polly. "And if I'm somewhere else i can't be here, can I? Ten dollars, please."

"That's Very Clever, Polly," Kathy Said, "But I can't Give You Ten Dollars."

"Why not?" Asked polly. "We Had A Bet.

"CERTAINLY WE HAD A BET," Kathy Said, "But How Can I Give You Ten DOLLARS IF You're Not Here?"

And with with a laugh she walked away.

NOTES:

(1) Trick n. Prank

(2) Play a trick on sb. Koke; play someone

(3) Prove v. Proof

(4) HONG KONG Hong Kong

(5) Paris Paris (French capital)

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