Three clever entertainment
In our lives, how to entertain it is a very headache. Carnegie has its own experience on this. Carnegie believes that our daily life is theoretically, no matter how it is not reasonable. There are many things that become uneven due to long-term habits and inertia. But you don't try to break these unreasonable habits, otherwise, in your entertainment, you have to encounter the other party "psychological resistance." The so-called "psychological resistance" refers to the other party thinks you are not near human condition. Since the other party feels some, your entertainment effect will greatly decrease. There are too many examples of the daily habits and methods of these "unreasonable", and the most common little things are a courteous. For example, we met with friends, there is no greece, but it must be said: "It's really a rude." Dictionary is that others invite you, but always say: "Brand you!" You go to a company Live, it is not someone to introduce, but he asked you, you will say: "Take your face, I entered a company." But if you don't say this unreasonable, others will think you are too Dear people. However, if you arrive in Europe or some other places, you will not be appropriate to say this kind of courtesy. In Japan, the bus ticket sector said to the passenger who got off: "Thank you!" Said to the passengers on the bus: "Sorry, let you wait for a long time." If the domestic public car ticket staff say this, I am afraid that guests have to think that the nervous of the ticket seller has problems. So this is not a reasonable unreasonable problem because of the different customs and customs of each place. A person's "first impression" is very important, others are the same for you, or you are doing others. In the entertainment, "First Impression" is not good, if you want to save, you will have a lot of effort, "First Impression" should pay special attention. How to give people a good first impression? Carnegie believes that there must be a good first impression, first pay attention to clothing. Some people will have objection: "How can we become a problem? The content of entertainment is most important." You see an adult wearing a jeans, will you have a light impression? " You see that someone wearing the trousers tube is not a line, do you have "not good looking"? If your reply is positive, then you can't face the reality. Pay attention to your clothing, this means not to call you the most popular, most fashionable clothes, just ask you to feel neat, clean, so that clothes are new, old, material is good, It is bad, it is not a problem. There are many companies in the United States have "specifications" to the employees, and the so-called specifications are nature not to specify how to wear or designated clothing, but "the level" of "viewing". In the books and books, the six points that should be paid attention to before the assessment: First, the shoes are wiped? Second, is there a line in the trouser tube? Third, the shirt is all buckled? Fourth, didn't shave the beard? 5. Is there a hair? Sixth, whether the wrinkles of clothes noticed? Not only in the United States, actually in the world. Thailand has an insurance company's executive report to the company, when they advise the farmers, wear neatly than wearing, and there are many different results, it can be seen that the peasants themselves are not good, but Those who wear neat are always trustworthy. Therefore, don't have to laugh at the social hairy "first after the first queue". When we carry entertainment, we should pay attention to reality. If you want to push others, if you want to have some unnecessary failure.
For unfamiliar people, we should find someone to introduce. Taking foreign life insurance brokers as an example, they go to find new mains, and now they have adopted "Trusters' introduction", because some people introduce, will never eat closed door. Of course, people who write the letter for you must be in the minds of the other party, very faceful, if it is a person who hates the other person, of course, the exception. Nowadays, I have gradually popped a number of written cards in the society, which is a good letter. This is a good way, because the introduction letter is going to see, some people will refuse the original letter when they read the letter to refuse the letter. Back, it is very embarrassed to make the people; if you write a business card, there will be this situation. Cardik said in his "The Road": "and the stranger met the first time, it is best to use the topic of the first time to meet the first time." This is very pertinent. The length of entertainment time is very important in an appropriate entertainment. Of course, we must decide from the essence, purpose and species of entertainment, and cannot be generalized. But we have to know that the current public telephone states the basic call time is three minutes, and this provision has a very profound research to make decisions. It expressed a little thing, it should be a knot within three minutes; if things are not a saying, or need to debate, it may spend an hour. But a constant principle is that we should try to shorten the time of entertainment, and we must prevent yourself and the other party to generate "fatigue". Because time this kind of thing, there is physical aspects and psychological differences. When you talk to a real friend, he looks at the watch, yeah, 12 o'clock, there is no bus, the last class is fast. Opened ... This kind of entertainment is that it feels that the time is only 20 minutes, but there is an hour of feelings. Some people participate in the entertainment, but they pay attention to the physical time, but they have attached to the psychological time. That is, when he is interested in this entertainment; otherwise, the mind is like a feeling like the year . But after all, our human beings are controlled by physical hours, so it is best not to waste time, convenient, and convenient for others, it is more important to make entertainment itself. Carnegie reminds us that time is the last element of entertainment, and it is also the most important factor, keep your time. There is a principle in entertainment to: first sufficient for others to achieve its own needs. But very regrett, in this society, people who can do this step are not most, because people are afraid of losing the psychology. However, we can make a lot of examples to explain that people who have been successful in all aspects, but they always use this set, sometimes even defending. Japan has a big newspaper. The summary of the year ago, the newcomer has neither awarded a more important job in the newspaper, and even "there is no more than the big car" (Japanese new reporter is more newspapers. Departure of the car, if the qualifications are old, you can drive yourself), this sentence is full of hostile criticism is from the mouth of some journalists, but these comments let the new editor-in-chief know. On the first day, he said in the "as a speech" and said to the colleagues: "I have a position of the newspaper, don't say that it is the chief editor, that is, there is also a problem with the qualification of the staff, because of the investigation of information According to statistics, I only know a little one on the economy. So I only have one will, I hope to sit on the journalist's big car, and I hope that because I can get the experience of all the doactory colleagues, I will go to a bank request. They work together to replace colleagues to do a place in purchase in the urban area.
... "His words have not been finished, it is already applause in the conference room. Everyone supports him. A female singer, from Japan to Hong Kong, and plans to live in Southeast Asia, she needs one Two short scripts, and in her mind, a very famous writer in Hong Kong is very good for her pen. This writer studied Chinese and Western, but he is full of temper, and it is also very busy. This The singer called her friend and said she has introduced by a director. I have to get dinner with a writer, but she doesn't know how to ask him to ask him. "What shortrand do you plan to write?" "Casual, as long as he will write." "This is not good, he doesn't understand your needs, it may be not ideal, and after he is finished, you will find that it is not ideal, please ask him to change, the problem will become serious! "I hope that he wrote a dumb girl for me, but there is a new content, don't have previous stories. "" This is very good, he has written many things before, and you only have to know that he has written these scripts and worshiped. ... "After two days, this singer called her friend, I am very happy:" He doesn't wait for me to ask for a short drama for me. "She said:" When you dinner, are you talking about the proud of his past? "" You are right, I mainly tell his work in how Japan likes people. " "" Yes, this is the success of the interest in the interested interest in the entertainment. "There is a woman organization in Japan. After a day after get off work, many Ms. Miss play tennis there, but there is a gentleman to play tennis a ban on the man every day. One day, his friend invited to go to the same day, listened to him. When the name of the organization, he hesitated. He asked: "Why don't you go to the municipal gymnasium? "The gentleman said:" I am not only to play tennis there, or the coach there, I still have a team leader! " "The reason is that the female tennis has not much good hands, and most people are still in the study stage. They have a principle:" To play tennis, it is necessary to practice. "In other words, since it comes to the tennis court, it is interested in tennis. Unless you have a genius to play tennis, otherwise you will practice. Carnegie tells us how to taste it in entertainment, we have noticed What is the interest in others? We have interacted with others. Over you have to work in this regard? Some people are born to entertain, this is naturally gratifying. But if it is not genius, we need to learn. When we go to a large scale At the time of the banquet, everyone will have an unconscious idea, which is the best to avoid the same seats with strangers. Because they are talking with the acquaintances, they have fun with strangers. In fact, this idea is really Evasting learning entertainment consciousness is in practice, just like walking into the tennis court and not wanting to train the ball is just as a laughter. At the banquet of strangers, I actively talking to people. It is one of more friends. In the entertainment, we can quote one. Nouns, ie "struggle to learn entertainment performance. "I only want to know more people, and make these people become their friends, is the real entertainment policy of life.
You will say: "I don't plan to have a head of the wind. I just do my own, I have to do myself, what do I have to know too much friend?" If you have this idea, then you can tell you, Mark · Tween is not a person who rely on the head, his main business is just a work, he only needs a genius and more humor, however, anyone admits that Mark Tween is a friend, getting along with friends. The best person. He has said: "One person, only can get along with a person who has no interests with himself, there is really happiness." A female student returned from a child teacher, On the dust-free banquet, everyone celebrates her academic success, but Carnegie wizard she chose the best understanding of this door, because kindergarten, the beginning of the door of the school. " The child, the child, is the most difficult, she specializes in this door, it is difficult to be expensive. There are a lot of people from teachers, but the kindergarten teachers are very lacking, and there are not many people who are willing to enroll the children. Carnegie asked her to ask her a little way to have a child, saying: "You must read the child psychology in 'childl', this is much more important than others." "Yes." She said: "We almost flowers Time to learn this theory and knowledge in this area. "" When you look at you, where is the most difficult place to cope with it? "" People who have received kindergarten training will not feel difficult to cope. " "That is to say, when you are in class, they will eventually accept your discipline, but you have to know that there are still many things to cope, such as fear of strangeness, crying, size, etc., I think you must have some tips." "I don't know any secret, but when I am going to go, I have to cope, you have to do it, let's start, please come and see how we'ssive 'will' them." Ka Ni is in the curious, and in the kindergarten, Go and see how these "child teachers" experts have enabled children. Going to see the kindergarten starting classes will also understand why parents' love for their children is great. Carnegie's kindergarten is located in the suburbs, and it is a bit amazing. They have opened 18 classes in this semester. This is much more than the primary schools established by them. On the first day of school, the car came to pick up, the students stood over the designated waiting place, and the people accompanying, and the ten eight-nine-nine-nine-nine-nine-nine-nine-nine-nine-year-old is known as the child's parents, not babysitters. Since the car does not allow parents to take the parents, most of them are crying, they are crying, and they are not more relieved. The only way they are doing the bus, followed by the school bus, resulting in traffic congestion. It's hard to arrive at the school gate, and the school is crying outside the school! You can imagine hundreds of children, plus hundreds of celinated parents, crying, chaotic, crowded, calling men, queuing class .... However, Carnegie saw teachers, including female students, that calmly appeared, just worried about them, knowing that they must have a way to calm down. Carnegie heard the school with a broadcast to broadcast to parents, please don't be too nervous, don't be too nervous, don't cry, because this is the first time that children come to this strange place, school self-organized education , Please feel relieved, the next day, it is best not to follow the child to the school. The secret of kindergarten entertainment, in fact, there is only one kind, it is "adapting to other people's interest". What is the interest of a child? As long as you can figure out their psychology, you can solve it.
It is said that when I just went to class, there were many children to be accompanied by the parents. However, this situation only last day, the next day, the child did not want my mother to accompany, because the teacher said to him: "Xiaoli, you see, Amei don't want to accompany you, let your mother return home for you to prepare for you. Lunch is not better? "The child's temper, she saw, Amei really didn't have a mother, then she is not embarrassed. Some children have been crying when they were in class, and the teacher also used the same way, saying to him: "You don't cry, you don't cry, wait for a while we have cakes." That child Sure enough, you don't cry. Speaking with a child to use a child's tone, otherwise he will not accept it at all, and you can't talk about him to obey. I have to say it back, but the above, but the general situation, how is the kind of chaotic scene when the kindergarten starts, how is it? Shortly, Qi Niki asked the female student who graduated from the teacher. She said: We all take a principle to understand this scene: the first day, crying and noisy; the next day, still crying, noisy; third day, everyone Oh, the fourth day, the children started naughty. Looking at the kindergarten teacher to treat the child's entertainment, Carnegie believes the reasons for their success, because they can sacrifice, it should be said: "Abandon" your own personality to cater to the interests and ideas of the children. This approach is sincere, but sincere, it is always the elements of success. When your heart is full of enthusiasm, you will give it to others, it will not be a problem, but he is willing to answer or have a problem she is familiar. You know that someone has been to the United States. If you ask him, he must talk to many things in the United States, even if your purpose just want to ask about the United States, and he I will tell you that the elevator of the New York Empire Building is so extent, some places in the streets of San Francisco, like Hong Kong, etc., because you cater to his interest. Carnegie further analyzes that human beings have a born, there is a conflict psychology. As someone is equal, but in the other hand, we want to maintain male privilege; so in words, it will cause the other party an uninhabined situation. It is said that a celebrity in Japan has said that people and women have equal issues in a certain entertainment situation: Q: Do you think women should have the right to participate in politics? A: Of course, I think it is too late to give women's participation in politics. Q: Do you think it should be prohibited? A: Private should be sweep immediately. Q: What is your opinion on men? A: Na is a shame for men. Q: What should my wife should come out? A: It should be, it should! When you listen to a few replies, you will have an impression that this person is a standard male and female flat. You continue to listen. Q: Do you agree with men and women? A: The men and women have a characteristic, if they learn together, it is inevitable to lose their own characteristics; however, students also have the benefits of classmates. Carnegie please pay attention to: His question for men and women, is to retain two opinions, in other words, he takes neutral, not.
But people with his conversation, the "neutral" understands "it" is "in favor of his previous answered," said that many arguments for men and women, the audience is affected, hard to put him " Neutral "comments are also counted as" approval ". American psychologist Haiman In a similar test, there were hundreds of people, and seventy-three people replied to the opponent in accordance with the direction they expected, which would not be understood when they entertain. The learning and art of entertainment and art are not able to learn from the morning, so they also have experienced accumulation. In his discussion, the entertainmentist Ganfeng is placed in the first place. Secondly: (2), there should be special knowledge for the content of the topic - when you talk to the other party, you must know this, otherwise it is lacking attractive, can't let The other party has an interest. (3) Fully understand the truth between the relationship between people - there are many things that are different, but the reason is never changed, this kind of "never change" the truth, you should always put it in your heart. (4) To cultivate endurance - avoid all kinds of small parts. Experience proves that "small device" often makes yourself lose money. (5), you can use tone to express your own desire - don't make people can't make trouble. Some people think that they are ambiguous, and they are actually quite bad. People who really know how to use entertainment technology will make their positions quickly openly. (6), often maintain neutral, maintain objective - according to experience, one attitude neutral, often struggle for more friends. Even your "Dead Party", you don't have to say the voice to him, as long as it is "dead party". (7), there must be a measure of all kinds of value, don't just insist on a certain view. (8), it is necessary to be dedicated to things. One person can't keep secret, I will find a lot of negligence on any incident. (9) Don't say too much, I want to let others say more. (10), treat people, care, and try to understand the background and motivation of others. It is often not just unsuccessful, and it will be unable to save, especially for salesman, especially the salesman. There is a life insurance man in the United States, relying on his "prepare" work, becoming "Wang." His secret is: When he is going to persuade a guest, you can first understand whether he bought someone's life insurance. If there is a life insurance in other people, you still have to advise him to buy your company, this is successful Hope has been minus half. "I touched this situation," he said: "There must no longer refer to life insurance, may mention another insurance, such as accident insurance," low-energy life insurance, will attack guests Life insurance, then recommends your company. A book newspaper is delivered to the door to sell, undertake a variety of newspaper subscribers. He went to a customer. People have already subscribed to the A magazine for a long time. He also booked a twice, and the guests were returned: "We have not booked two magazines at the same time." This time, the atmosphere is very unpleasant, and it is too late to introduce another magazine. There are many things, I have been psychologically ready to prepare. I have prepared, everything is much better, but unfortunately people are indifferent to this preparation, let go of a good successful opportunity. Even in the phone entertainment, there is this situation in advance, how do you respond when others say "Yes" or "No", you can avoid too much unnecessary unnecessary.
Two people talk, from the "non-specific topic" to "topic" is a fairly difficult thing. There are many people like to say a large number of inscriptions, then say: "For the words, I am not looking for you today, but for ..." or: "Today, I am actually ..." I turned into the topic, surface It seems that it seems straightforward, but this will make all the questions you said out of the effect, because the other's brain, has divided your conversation into two. If you talk, this habit, don't understand "turning the title", it is better to open the mountain, and you will be much better when you see people. A washing machine salesman went to visit a friend, and the purpose is of course a sales laundry machine. If he first told someone to go out, then said: "Today, there is no other purpose, it really wants to sell ..." I think he is mostly to fail. of. But when he started to talk about a long time, the water is dry, stopped, then said: "These days are hot, every day, the shirt will be changed, and it is a big injury every day. Sales the washing machine, there is really a seamless taste, even if the other party discovers this "seam", it will not feel uncomfortable. Some occasions need to state "gossip less, not" correct ". For example, the other party knows you intention, or it has agreed what to talk about this time, it is officially announced, but it will make the other's emotions, put the spirit, to talk about things between you. Some things must never get answers immediately. You have to make a judgment beforehand, encounter such things, it is best not to wait for the answer, say: "You are very busy, I don't delay you, please take care. ! "This is also a way of discussing, and you also left the next signal. Carnegie pointed out that we nourish our children, friends and employees, but rarely nourish their self-esteem. We supply their beef and 洋, cultivate energy; but we have forgotten them to returning to the sound of Morning Star in memory. Paul Harvey said in a radio program of his hosted "The story of the story" said that sincere praise and appreciation, how to change a person's life. He said, a few years ago, a teacher of Detroit asked Steve Mo Russ to help her to find a mouse that was lost in the classroom. She learned that God gave Steve as Steve, so things were not in our house. God gave Steve a pair of great ears to compensate for his binding blindness. So the teacher's request, so that Steve first felt his specialty for the appreciation of others. Today, today, Shif said that he received the attention and appreciation, it was the beginning of his new life. From then on, he began to develop his hearing talents and finally became the greatest pop songs and composers in the seventh year. His name is Steve Wang Del. Some readers saw the above examples later said: "This way to shoot the horse! I have tried it. No use - people who have knowledge will have effects." Of course, the shoud can't lie to understand people, then It is superfigra, selfish, hypocritical, it should fail, and it is really often fail. Some people have a very hunger about others. Anything can be accepted, as a person who is hungry, even grass and bait will eat.
For example, why did you have multiple married Divani brothers, will it be so smooth in the marriage market? Why is these two so-called "son brothers", there is a way to marry two famous and beautiful movie stars, a famous world-famous chief singer star, a $ million dollar Barbara? What do they do? "Divani brothers have the charm of women," Yadi Luoer St. John said in an article in "Freedom" magazine, "... for a long time, for many people, it has always been a mystery." Polanieney, a woman who saw Guangbo, a man's appreciation home, is also a great artist, once a proposed explanation of Carnegie. She said: "They also understand the Word of any man I meet. And the way, in this reality, there is no emotional era, almost the same forgotten things. I can assure you, this kind of compliment It is the secret of the Divani brothers attract women. "Even Victoria Queen is also moving compliment. Delai admitted that he often used compliment before the queen. In the words of him, he said that he was "shamelessly complimented." However, Deliry is one of the most technically practiced, most technically, most people who rule the British Empire. In his line, he is a genius. Of course, the method for him is not necessarily valid. Compliment is more beneficial to you, compliment is fake, just like counterfeit banknotes, if you want to use, the last will always make you trouble. What is the difference between compliments? Very simple. One is sincere, the other is untrue; one is from the heart, the other is from the teeth; one likes the people in the world, the other is none of the world. In the Chaptrus Palace of Mexico City, Carnegie saw a half-length image of the Aubargang General. Under that semi-image, the philosophical wisdom of the Absilgang General: "Don't worry about attacking your enemies. Be worried about your friends." So, Carnegie is not advocating compliment! Carnegie said is a new way of life. George Idea, on the wall of the Buckingham Palace, showed a six-sentence motto. One of them is: "Teach me how to do not accept the cheap praise." Compliment is just a cheap praise. Carnegie said that he had to read a compliment definition, perhaps it is worth introducing: "Compliment, it is what he said is just his idea." "No matter what language you use," said Emerson said, "What you said is still written in your own." If you can achieve your goals, everyone will compete, then we are experts who are doing people. When we don't think about some certain questions, we usually use the 95% of our time to think about our own. Now, if we stop do not want yourself for a while, we will start thinking about the benefits of others, we will not resort to those who have not yet told that they have false. One of the most often ignored many virtues in our daily life is to appreciate and praise how to pay for others. When our son and daughter brought back a good transcript, we turned out, but did not praise him or her, or when they successfully make a cake or a bird cage When we didn't encourage them. There is no such concern and praise from your parents, making them happier. Carnegie suggested that when you eat a good dish next time, don't forget that this dish is doing well, and passes this sentence to the master. And when a runarable salesman show you polite attitude, please give him praise. Every missionary, teacher, and the speech have experienced all things in the belly but did not get the discouragement of the listener.
These people will encounter this situation, those staff in the office, shops, and factories, and people and friends in our family, they will encounter this situation. In terms of interpersonal relationships, we should never forget that all our colleagues are people, and they are eager to appreciate and praise others. Appreciation and praise are all people welcome. On your place you get every day, you may wish to say a few words thanks, leave some friendly little sparks. You will not be able to imagine, how these small sparks ignite the flames of friendship, and when you come to this place next time, this friendship will illuminate you. What is the secret of a successful business talk? According to the kind of kindergarten, Charles Iria, "successful business conversation, there is no mysterious ... I am very important to watch people who talk to you, it is very important. No more than this. Compliment effect. "Eliot is a skilled listening to art masters. A number of novels of the United States Henry James recalled that Eliot's listening is not silent, but in the form of activities. He sat very straight, his hand was put on the lap, except for your thumb or anxiously around, there is no other action. He faces each other, it seems to listen to him with his eyes and his ears. He listened carefully and listened to what you said with your heart. Finally, this person who speaking to him will feel that he has said that he is going to say. Light and easy to understand, you don't have to find this in Harvard University last four years. But we know, some merchants will rent a place to buy their goods, and the store is decorated, but spend a lot of advertising fees, but hire some clerk who doesn't know how to listen to others - those clerk If the guest is to fight with others, it is embarrassing, and only the guests will go out. We noticed that the people who are complaining, even the most difficult people, in front of a patient, often soften, and yield. Such a listener, will keep silent when picking a bone with a bone head in the egg. For example: New York Telephone Company has discovered a few years ago, the company hit a fierce user who gave a vomiting of the operator. He burned in his anger, threatening the phone to rank, refused to pay some fees, saying that those expenses have no born. He wrote to the newspaper and went to the public service committee to have a countless complaint, and also reported the phone company. Finally, one of the most practiced "mediators" of the telephone company is sent to meet the users who have a chance. The "mediator" listened quietly, so that the old users spit out his dissatisfaction. Telephone company's "mediator" is patiently listening, constantly saying 'Yes', sympathizing with his dissatisfaction. "He said hears, and I listened, almost three hours." The "mediator" describes his experience in Carneglass. "Then, I will continue to listen. I have seen him four times, before the end of the fourth meeting, I have become a member of an organization he wants to set up, and he called it 'Phone User Protection Association'. I It is still a member of this organization, but I know, in addition to the old brother, I am a single member of this organization in the world today. "I listened to each of the previous meetings. The argument is in the attitude of sympathy. He has never seen a telephone company talking to him, so he became friendly. In the first time, I didn't even raise my reason, the second and third times didn't. But when the fourth time, this matter was completely solved, he paid all the bills and revoke the appeal to the Public Service Commission. "Undoubtedly, the old brother believes that it is a sacred presidency, maintaining the rights of the public, so as not to be exploited.
