One understanding of each other's point of view
Carnegie's disorder is not only manifested on self-understanding, but also requires the other party's point of view. Because, only the views of the other party can find the right deal with the right. Carnegie is fishing every summer to Maine. He is very like a strawberry and cream to make a bait, but he is strange to find that the fish prefer bugs. Therefore, every time you go fishing, he doesn't want himself, thinking is that the fish is. Carnegie's fishing hook does not hold strawberry and cream, he is in front of the fish, there is a small worm or 蜢, said, "Don't you want to eat this?" When you fish others, why use this common sense differently ? Li Luo George has got a lot of inspiration. Often asked him, when all those war leaders - Wilson, European, Krims - when they kicked and forgotten, why he can still master the power. He replied that if he had any reason in his head, it may be because he already known: If you want to fish, the bait must be suitable for fish. Why talk about what we want? This is a child's ridiculous idea. Of course, you are interested in what you want, you will always be interested in yourself, but others are not interested in what you want. Other people are just like you, only interested in what they want. Therefore, the only way to affect others is to talk about what he wants, teach him how to get it. please remember! When you want someone to do something tomorrow, please say, when you don't want your son to smoke, don't tell him what your truth, just let him know, smoking will make him unable to join the basketball team, or win hundred Rice competition. This is a point worth remember, whether you are a child, or a cow, or chimpanzee. For example, one day, Emerson and his son want to get a calf into the cowshed, but they made a general person's mistakes - just think of what they want: Emerson is pushing behind, he The son pulls in front. But the calf is the same as what they do, what it thinks is just it. Therefore, the gully is tight, and it is stubborn to leave the origin. The Irish maid saw their dilemma - she won't say it, but at least this time, she has more knowledge about the cow horse than I love. She thought of the calf, so she put her thumb into the mouth of the calf, let the calf look at the finger, and gently introduce it into the cowshed. From your birth, your do what you do is because you have a need. Why did you donate to the Red Cross for one hundred dollars? Because you have to help others, because you have to show a beautiful, non-personal, sacred behavior. "Since you do this on our brothers, it is equivalent to me." If you feel about your good feelings, you will not have the love of the one hundred dollars. " Donation. Of course, you donate money may be because you are embarrassed to refuse, or you have to do this. But one thing is determined, you donate what you need. Professor Avo History said in his inspirational "influencing human behavior" book: "Action out from our basic desire ... and what I can give you people's people - whether it is in the business , In the family, school, politically - the best advice is: First, pick up the opponent's eager desire. People who can do this can master the world; people who can not be alone. " The ancestors, Carnegie, this poor, such as washing, the hourly salary is two points, and finally donated a $ 65 million. He has learned very early, and it can affect the only way to others is to do with the views of the other party. He only got a four-year study, but he learned how to treat others.
For example, he is worried about her two children. They are studying in Yale University, for their own business, busy don't have time to write home, and I don't pay attention to the anxious letters written by their mother. So Carnegie proposed to bet one hundred yuan, he doesn't have to ask back, you can get a reply. Someone bets him, so he wrote a letter to his nephew. After the letter, he said, he sent them five dollars. However, he did not attach the money in the letter. Let's return, thank you "Dear Ancestors", "Dear Ancestors," Good Writing - You can guess what is written by the next sentence. A classmate in Carnegieban, Stan Novak, Cleveland, Ohio, provides an example of persuasive examples. One night he went home, and found his little son ruled on the living room floor and cry. Tomorrow is going to start the kindergarten, but he refuses to go. If the reaction in the usual, histori is to rush to the room, and he is best to decide to go to the kindergarten, and he did not choose anything. But at this evening, he realized that this is helpless to go to Kindergarten with a good mood. Tan is sitting down and thinking. "If I am sink, why do I happily go to kindergarten?" He and his wife listed all the things that Kindergarten liked it, such as painting with fingers, singing, Know new freind. Then they take action. "We - my wife, Lily, I am buying another son, and me - starting to draw a painting on the table in the kitchen, and really enjoying the fun. If you don't have the time, the meter is stealing in the corner, Then he asked to participate. 'No, you must first go to kindergarten to learn how to draw a painting.' I am with the biggest enthusiasm, with him to understand, explain me and I explain it to him in the table. - Tell him that he will get fun in kindergarten. The next morning, I thought I was the first person in my family. I walked downstairs and found that the rice sat in the chair sleeping in the living room. 'You How to sleep here? 'I asked him.' I am waiting to go to kindergarten. I don't want to be late. 'Our whole family's enthusiasm has caused an extremely desirable need in the heart, but this is discussion or threat intimidation Can't do it. "Tomorrow, maybe you will persuade someone to do something. Before you open, stop and ask: "How do I make this thing to do?" This problem can make us not losing, and there is no result. Talk about our desire to talk about our wishes. Carnegie has experienced such a thing. He rented a big dance hall to a hotel in New York, with twenty nights, held a series of lectures every season. At the beginning of a certain season, he suddenly received a notice, saying that he must pay almost three times higher than the previous rent. When Carnegie got this notice, the admission ticket was printed and sent out, and all the notices have been announced. Of course, Carnegie does not want to pay this increased rent, but talk about nothing with the hotel, is not used, they are only interested in what they want. Therefore, after a few days, he went to see the manager of the hotel. "I have a little surprised," said Carnegie, "But I don't blame you at all. If I am you, I may also make a similar letter. You are a hotel manager, responsible as possible Make income. If you don't do this, you will lose your current position. Now, we have taken a piece of paper and take advantage of the pros and cons. If you insist on increasing rent, "then, Carnegie A letterhead, marks a line in the middle, while writing "profits", and the other side is "disadvantage". He wrote these words in "Life": "The Ballroom is empty".
Then: "You have the benefits of renting the ballroom to others or open a meeting, this is a great advantage, because it is like this kind of activity, which is better than renting a small income. If I put Your dance hall takes 20 nights to lect classes, of course, is of course a small loss. "Now, let us consider the disadvantages. First, you can't add income from me, but will reduce your income. In fact, you will not have a little income, because I can't pay the rent you asked, I have to be forced to go to other places to open these lessons. "You still have a bad place. These courses have attracted many people who have been educated and cultivated to your hotel. This is a good propaganda for you, isn't it? In fact, if you spend $ 5,000 in the news If you go to advertise, you can't attract so many people to see your hotel. This is not a big value. "Carnegie said, one side wrote these two disadvantages. In the "disadvantage", then handed the paper to the hotel's manager, saying: "I hope that you can consider the pros and cons of you, then tell me your final decision." The second day Ka Niki received a letter, notice His rent is only 50%, not 300%. Here, Carnegie did not say what he had, he got this result of this. Carnegie has always been talking about the other party, and how he can get what he wants. Assuming that Carnegie made the usual average person, he assumes that his anger is rushing to the manager's office saying: "What do you mean by this, clearly know that my admission ticket is already printed, but it has been issued three times Rent? Do you have this! "What will the situation?" An argument will be in full swing - and you know what consequences bring. Even if Carnegie can make him believe that he is wrong, his self-esteem will make him difficult to succumb and concession. About being a human life, this is a famous saying. "If there is any secret," Henry Ford said, "is to understand the other's point of view, and from his angle and your angle to observe the kind of talent." This paragraph is really good! " This sentence is too simple, too obvious, anyone should see the truth; but the world has 90% in the 90% time, but ignores it. reason. For example, look at the letters on your table tomorrow morning, you will find that most of the letters violate this common sense. Take this letter, the letter is the supervisor of a radio department of a radio company. All United States have branches, which sent to radio station managers all over the United States. Carnegie made his opinion on this matter. (The text in each parentheses is Carnegie to the reaction of this practice.) Mr. Brandville, Indiana, Dear Mr. Brack, Mr. Brand, hoping that the company hopes to maintain the leadership of advertising business in the radio industry. . (Who is your company hopes? I am worried about my own problem. Bank is preparing to confiscate my house mortgage, the pests are got oxygen, yesterday, the stock fell sharply, I missed eight o'clock this morning. Train, last night, Zhongs family did not invite me to dance, the doctor said that my blood pressure is too high, there is neuritis, the scalp is too much. What happened again? I arrived at the office this morning, I opened my letters. But I read a person who didn't see the biography in New York, what is the hope of his company. If he can understand the impression of this letter, he will leave the advertising industry and change to make disinfectant.) The company's advertising Customers are those radio stations. Every year, the company's turnover is among famous.
(You are big, and rich, it is far ahead, what is it? I don't care, even if your company has General Motor Company, the Singular Electric Company and the US Army Headquarters are so big. If you are not so shallow, you will It should be understood that I only care about how big - instead of you. You mention how success I have, all this only makes me feel small and not important.) We want to put the latest news about the radio station to provide us client. (You hope! You don't know how to be high and thick. I have no matter what you hope, or what is the hope of Mussoli, or what is the hope of Proublebel. I want to do it, tell you, I am only right. I hope to be interested - and for this, you have not mentioned a word in your ridiculous letter.) So, you can listed the company as the necessary object you report weekly news - each Items facilitates the details of advertising in gold time. ("Necessary object." Good tone! You talk about your big company, make me feel insignificant - then you want me to include you in the "necessary" object, even a "please" word Do not say.) Please reply immediately, tell us your recent "activities", which will be beneficial to each other. (You are really stupid! You send me a low-level reply letter - a letter from the Qiu Ye is like a thousand people who sent to the end of the world; you actually fight in my worried house mortgage, huni and high blood pressure Sit down, tell you a private letter, tell you to receive this letter - and you want me to "instantly" back. You "instantly" mean? Don't you know that I am busy as you? - or, at least I like to be as busy with you. Also, since we are talking about this problem, I will ask you, what is your power or order? ...... You said this Will be "beneficial to each other", finally, you have begun to see my point of view. But how to be good for me, you have a vague.) Sincerely, the radio department manager John Brack will start again: attached Brackville Daily copy, you have a reference value for you, you may play out on your TV. (I finally, you are re-envoying, mentioning a thing that maybe help me solve a problem. Why not mention this in the beginning of the letter - but what is the use? People have made this kind of problem, there must be a problem with the madness. You don't need to write to our current situation, you need a quaver iodine, inject your thyroid.) Carnegie believes that if a person is committed In the advertising business, I thought I had a higher talent that persuaded others - if he wrote such a letter, we can expect anything about the butcher, bread masters, automobile mechanical repair people? Below is another letter, a major freight company's supervisor writes a student Vi Milan in Carneglass. What effect does this letter will have a recipient? New York Brooklyn Queen 10th Times Rijia Recipient: Mr. Vi Milan Respect: Our foreign goods accepted station homework, often hampered, because many goods are sent in the evening, resulting in traffic Crowd, our staff overtime, the delay of the vehicle, sometimes it is delayed. On November 10, we received a batch of five hundred ten pieces from your company, arrived here, it was already four in the afternoon. We ask your company to cooperate to jointly overcome this adverse effect due to late arrivals.
Can we request it, after your company wants the goods to be shipped on the same day, try to ask your truck to come early, or send a part in the morning? If this is arranged, your truck can be driven more quickly, and it is also more likely to send the goods sent by your company during the same day. Mr. Vi Milan, the sales department of Ri Milan, the sales department of ×××, and sent it to Carnegie, and added the following reviews: "The effect received by this letter is completely opposite to the original intention. This letter describes the difficulties of freight companies at the beginning. In general, this is not us interested. Then I ask us to cooperate, but I don't think it will cause inconvenience to us. In the last paragraph, I finally mention if we If you cooperate, we will allow our trucks to open back, and let our goods are sent on the day. In other words, we are most interested in finally mentioned, and the entire effect produced It is hostile, not the psychology of cooperation. "Let's see if you can rewrite and rewrite this letter. We don't waste time to talk about our questions. As Henry Ford said, we should "understand other people's views, from his angle and our own point of view." The following is a way, maybe not the most Good way, but this is also an improvement. New York Bolklin Qi Qi 2nd Rika transferred to Mr. Vi Milan, Dear Mr. Dear: Your company has been one of our best customers in fourteen years. Of course, we are very grateful to your care, so it is very happy Provide you with a rapid and effective service. However, we regret that if your truck is shipped in a large number of goods at dusk, such as the situation of November 10, we can't provide this service. Because many other companies are also delivered at dusk. In this way, the phenomenon of crowding is produced, making your truck inevitably blocked in the terminal, sometimes even making the goods can't ship on time. This situation is very bad, very bad. How to avoid it? It is to send your goods to the terminal before noon, so you can make your truck activities, you can immediately send your freight, and our staff can also return home, enjoy your company. Delicious heart powder. Please don't think this is a complaint, please don't think I am telling you how to run your company. I wrote this letter, mainly to serve you in a more effective way. Regardless of your goods arrive, you still have to serve you with the greatest power. You are very busy. Please don't have to reply. The director ××× enlisted in Barbella Ande, a bank of New York, moved to Phoenix, Arizona for his son's health. She used the principle learned in Carneglass, wrote the following one letter to the twelve banks of Phoenix: Respect: I have ten years of experience in the bank, should be a fast-growing bank interest. I have worked in various departments of the New York Board Trust Company, which is now rumored to the division, familiar with the banks of banks, including relationships, credit, loans and administrations with deposits. I will move to Phoenix in May, and I am convinced that I can help the growth and profit of your bank. I will arrive in Phoenix, if I can give the opportunity, if I can give the opportunity, I am grateful. After the sacred merchant, the Baibela Ande is issued, and there are eleven in the twelve banks to trust her to talk, and foot can be used for her choice.
why? Mrs. Ande didn't say what she wants, but only in the letter that she can help them, it is a need for their needs, not her own needs. Today, there are thousands of sales in the road, tired, and negative, and insufficient income. why? Because they have been thinking about it. They didn't find it, you or I didn't want to buy anything. If we want to buy, we will buy it yourself. But we have always wanted to solve our problems. If a salesman can let us know how his service or product will help us solve the problem, he does not need to sell us, we will naturally buy. Customers like to feel that he wants to buy - not sold. But many people sell for a lifetime, but I don't know what to see from the perspective of customers. Carnegie lives in the forest hill, which is a small residential area of the New York Center. One day, when he hurriedly arrived at the station, he happened to encounter a person who was engaged in real estate. It has been very familiar with the land of the Long Island, which is very familiar with the forest hills, so Carnegie asked, his cement house is metal Bars or hollow bricks cover. The man said, but I told the Ka Niki already known! He said that Carnegie can call the Forest Park Hortien Mong a clear. The next morning, Carnegie received a letter. Does he give the information you have to be Qa Ni? As long as he makes a call, you can get the answer within 60 seconds. But he didn't play, but told the card to the Kaiki, you can call and ask, then ask the Carnegie Office insurance. Carnegie said that he is not interested in helping others, he is only interested in helping yourself. Haohua Lucas, Birmingham, Alabama, said how two salesmen of the same company handle the same type. He said: "For a few years ago, I held a high-level work in a small company. There is a regional branch of a large insurance company near the company. They distribute their salesmen according to the regional distribution, and our company is exactly two salesmen. The responsible work area. I call these two salespersons for Carl or John. "One morning, Carl to our office, and mentioning his company has just set up a plan specially for senior staff insurance, thinking We will be interested in and say that we will look at us after he gets more information. "Just on the same day, we went to drink coffee back and walked on the sidewalk. John saw that we shouted: 'Waiting for me, I have good news to tell you.' He rushed up, I am very excited to tell us to say His company has set up a new plan specially for senior staff insurance (like the plan mentioned in Karliandi), and he wants us to be the first batch of insurers, but also said: 'This Insurance and the past, I have already asked the head office to send a person tomorrow to do further instructions. Now I will ask you to sign the underwriting book, then organize, then more information is for him to explain. ' Although we still don't know the detailed situation of this insurance, his enthusiasm has made us raise the urgent needs of this insurance. When the insurance contract is sent to us, we found that the content inside is fully compliant with John to this insurance. Preliminary understanding. Not only makes each of us to participate in insurance, will double the insurance amount later. "Karlben can get the performance of these insurance, but he did not work hard to cause us to participate in this insurance. "Professionals have often made the same mistake. A few years ago, Carnegie walked into a famous nose-style specialist in Ferradelfa. Experts asked him to do it before checking his tonsille gland. Expert I am not interested in his hill gland. He is interested in the size of Carnegie wallet. He mainly cares about how he should treat; he is mainly concerned about how much is he getting from others. Results, what is he? You can't get it.
Carnegie walked out his clinic and despised him no personality. People in the world full of such as "greed, I am getting more than. Therefore, a few people who are not self-private and help others will have a lot of gains, and he does not compete. Owen Mei said: "A person who can read it from others, you can understand the people of others, never have to worry about your future." If you read this book, you can only learn one thing: gradually Thoughts, think about things in someone else - If you learn this from this book, it can easily become a milestone in your career. Explore other people's point of view, and in his heart, it is an urgent need for a thing, not to manipulate this person, so that he is only beneficial to you, but it should be There is a harvest under this situation. Just giving Mr. Vi Milan's letter, sending information and receiving both sides have gains due to the recommended things. Mrs. Ande Sheng made the bank and her both sides have won, and the bank has gained a valuable staff, and Mrs. Ande is also suitable. In the example of John selling insurance to Lucas, both sides have obtained. It is an urgent need of others to make everyone have another example of gain, which is ranked by Mike Wenden, Rhodes, Wardi, Rhodes. He is a region of Shell Oil Company. member. Mike hopes to become a regional salesman in the region in the region, but there is a gas station to make his efforts have affected, which is managed by an old man. Mike wants to make this elderly to maintain the cleaning of the gas station, so gasoline sales are greatly reduced. Whether Mike requests to improve the cleaning of the gas station, this old man is ignorant. After many persuasion and sincere conversation, Mike decided to invite the manager to see the latest Shell gas station in his area. The manager impressed the facilities of the new oil station, and when Mike went to him next time, his gas station has become clean, and the sales volume has increased, so that Mike has become the first in the region. aims. His past talks and discussions have not received the effect, but he has attracted the needs of the manager, and inviting the manager to visit the modern gas station, he reaches his goal, so that manager and Mac is beneficial. Repeat again, Professor Avo History, "First, pick up the opponent's eager desire. People who can do this can master the world; people who can not be alone." A student, worried about his little boy. The child is insufficient, and it is not good to eat. His father takes the way the average person: obeying and jealous. "Mother wants you to eat this, eat that. Father wants you to grow high again." Children will pay these requests for parents? " Obviously, it is ignorant like you of the sand on the beach. Anyone with common sense will not expect a three-year-old child to react to the thirty-year-old father's point of view, but this is what the father is expected. He finally saw this, so he said to himself: "What is this child want? How can I get what I want to be?" When he started to think about it, things were easy. . His child has a three-wheeled bicycle, he likes to ride on the sidewalk at home. His family lives around a child, often pulling him down, and grabs the bicycle. Of course, this little boy cried and returned to tell the mother, and the mother will immediately come out and pull the big child down and put his child again to the bicycle. This kind of thing is happening almost every day. What is this child want? Even if not Holmes, I know the answer to this question.
His self-esteem, his anger, he is eager to get an important person's feeling - all his strongest emotions - drive him to take retaliation, take the big child's nose. And when his father told him, one day he can play the bigger to the flowers, if he is willing to eat the mother to let him eat food - once his father guarantees this, he no longer eats The problem is. That child is willing to eat spinach, blister, salted fish and anything, so that you can grow up quickly, put the little baba sick of him often. After solving this problem, do your father and encounter another problem: the child has a bad habit of urine. The child sleeps with his grandmother. Every morning, his grandmother wakes up, I will touch my bed, say "You said, Jiang Ni, you did a good thing last night." He will say: "No, no, you do it." Question, Hit him, shame him, repeatedly said that his mother does not need him to bed - all could not keep the bed dry. Therefore, asking your parents: "How can we stop this child to stop the urine?" What do you want to know what he wants? " First, he wants to wear pajamas as Dad, not like a grandmother. Grandmother fed up at night harassment, so if he didn't have a bed, I was happy to buy a pajamas for him. Second, he wants to have a bed. Grandmother is not opposed. His mother took him to department store, blinked on the clerk, said: "This small gentleman is going to buy something." Miss the clerk used to make the child feel that his own important tone said: "Young people, what I can take something Take a look? "He stood there and said," I want to buy a bed for myself. "When the clerk hopped a mother hoped that the bed he bought him later, she blinked her eyes on the clerk. So this little boy was being persuaded and bought it. The bed was sent the next day. That night, my father returned home, the little boy ran to the door, calling: "Dad! Go upstairs, see the bed I bought for myself." Be a father to see the bed, obeying the history of Shibo: "Sincerely, it is called." "Don't take this bed, right?" Be a father. "Yes, right! I don't take this bed." The little boy complied with his promise, because of his self-esteem. This is his bed, he bought it back. And he is now wearing pajamas, like a small adult, he hopes to move like an adult. He did it. Another father, named Daventum, is a telephone technician, and a student at Carnegieban, he can't make his three-year-old daughter to have breakfast. Usually, the request, the way, the hunger is not used, so I will ask my parents: "How can we make her breakfast?" This little girl likes to imitate her mother, I like to feel that I have grown up. Adult. So, one morning, they put her on a chair and let her make breakfast. At this moment, I was a father's walk into the kitchen, and she was stirring breakfast food, so she said: "Dad, I did my breakfast this morning." This morning, she didn't have any induction. I ate two bowls of cereals because she was interested in the cereal. She got a feeling of an important person; she found breakfast is a self-performance method. William Wantel said: "Self-performance is the most important factor in human nature.
