Two faces the criticism of others
Carnegie believes that when you have someone else, if you are right, if you are right, you have to try gentle, skillfully let the other party agree to you; and if you are wrong, you will be promptly admitted . Doing this, it is much more effective than yourself and more interesting. Carnegie has taken a thing of your experience as an example. The place where he lives is almost at the geographic center of New York; but from his home a minute, you can reach a forest. In spring, the wildflowers of the black strawberry bus are white, squirrels are nesting in the forest, and the horses are high. This piece of forest is not destroyed, called the forest park - it is indeed a forest, perhaps with Columbus to find out that there is no difference in the afternoon of the Americas. He often takes Lez to the park. Rez is his small Boston bulk dog. It is a boy hunting dog that is friendly and not hurt; because there are very few pedestrians in the park, he often does not reitely Chain or wearing mask. One day, Carnegie and his puppy met a riding police in the park. He seems to have an authority to show his authority. "Why do you let your dog run, don't give it to the chain or wear a mask?" He replied to the Kets. "Don't you know this is illegal?" "Yes, I know," Carnegi replied, "But I don't think it will be here." "You don't think! The law doesn't matter if you think. May be bitten here, or bite a child. This time I don't pursue it, but if I see this dog, I don't have a chain or a hood in the park, you have to explain with the judge. "Carnester promises to follow. But Rez does not like to wear a mask, Carnegie doesn't like it, so I decide to try my luck. The matter is very smooth, but then I have touched it. One afternoon, they ran on a hillside and suddenly met a policeman. Carnegie decided that the police did not wait for the man. He said: "Mr. Police Officer, this is gone on the spot, I am guilty. I have no truth, there is no excuse. There is a policeman warned me last week. If you bring a puppy, you should punish it. I. "" Good to say, I said, "The police replied," I know that there is no one, no one can bring such a puppy to play. "" Indeed, "Carnegie replied," but This is illegal. "" The puppy like this is about not biting others, "the police tripped him. "No, it may bite the squirrel," Carnegie said. "You probably look too serious," he told Ka Ni, "We do this, you just let it run through the hill, to the place I can't see - things," Catai sighed, then The policeman is also a person, he wants a feeling of an important person; therefore, when he blames himself, the only way to enhance his self-respect is compassionate with a tolerance. Carnegie handled this kind of thing, not to have a frontal confrontation with him, admit that he is absolutely true, it is absolutely wrong, refreshing, confession, and sincerely admitted this. Because standing on his side, he spoke for the other party, the whole thing is over the harmonious atmosphere. So, if we know that it will be blamed, why not grab a step, you will first plead guilty? Listening to yourself condemning yourself more criticism than yourself. If you know someone wants or prepares you, you will first put the other party to blame your words, then he doesn't have a way. In this case, ten eight nine will treat you with a wide, understanding, ignoring your mistakes - as the police did.
Phi Dingnan Valentine, a commercial artist, he uses this skill, winning a violent and irritating artist's good impression. "Precise, meticulous, is the most important project to draw commercial advertising and publication products." Mr. Warron said. "Some art editing requires us to immediately complete the tasks they will make, and in this case, some small mistakes will happen. I know that a certain artist always likes to pick a bone from the egg. I left him. When the office, I always feel uncomfortable, not because of his criticism, but because he attacked my method. Recently, I have paid a very anxious date to him, and later he called me, I want to go to his office immediately. Go, it is a problem. When I went to his office, just as I expected - the trouble came. He is full of hostile, finally has a chance. After he maliciously blames me, it is exactly what I use. The opportunity to be self-criticized. So I said: 'Mr. a certain, if you are good, my mistake must not forgive. I have worked for you for so many years, I really should know how to paint.' "He I started to defend me immediately. 'Yes, your words are not wrong, but after all, this is not a serious mistake. Just - '"I interrupt him.' Any mistake, 'I said,' The price may be very big, people are uncomfortable. '" He began to insert the mouth; but I didn't let him jug. I am very satisfied, I have to criticize myself in the life - I really like this. "'I should be more careful,' I continue to say. 'You give me a lot of work, the photography should make you satisfied, so I am going to re-come again.'" No! Do not! 'He opposed. 'I don't want to trouble you like that. 'He praised my work, telling me that I just need to change a little bit, and say that a little mistake will not spend the company how much money; after all, this is just a subtree - not worth worrying. "I am eager to criticize myself, so that he invites me to come to lunch. Before breaking up, he will give me a check, and I will explain my other work." A person has courage to admit his mistake, also You can get some degree of satisfaction. This not only eliminates the atmosphere of sin and self-guard, but also helps solve the problem made by this error. Bruscher Harway, Abkkuk, New Mexico, mistakenly sent a full salary for employees who invited sick leave. After he found this error, he told this employee to correct this error, he wants to subtract more salary amount in the next pay check. The employee said that this will bring him serious financial issues, so the request for the payment of his salary. But in this way, Harvey must first obtain the approval of his superiors. "I know this," Harvey said, "will definitely make the boss are extremely dissatisfied. When I consider how to deal with this situation in a better way, I know that all this is my mistake, I have to I acknowledge in front of the boss. "I walked into his office and told him that I made a mistake and then told him the whole situation. He said that this should be a mistake in the personnel department, but I repeatedly said that this is my mistake. He looked loudly and accused the negligence of the accounting department. I explained that this is my mistake. He blame the office again. Different colleagues, but I repeatedly said that this is my mistake. Finally, he looked at me, 'Ok, this is your mistake. Now solve this problem now. 'I change the mistake, I didn't bring trouble to anyone. I think I am very good, because I can handle a nervous situation and have courage to find excuses. Since then, my boss value me more. "Carnegie tells us that even if the fool will defense for his own mistake, you can recognize that you are wrong, you will have a respect for others, and there is a good feeling. If we are right, you must convince others agree.
And we are wrong, you should admit it quickly. In 1929, the United States had a major event in the country, and scholars from all over the United States rushed to Chicago to see the lively. In the past few years, there is a young man named Luoke Haokins, graduated from Yale University, has done writers, logged workers, family teachers and salesmen sold. Now, after eight years, he was appointed as the fourth wealthy university in the United States - the principal of the University of Chicago. Just thirty years old! It's hard to believe. Older generations of educators are shaking their heads. People are in the head of the "God", saying that he is like this, saying that he is too young, and the experience is not enough. - Said that his educational concept is very immature, and even major newspapers also participated in the attack. On the day of Luo Bo Haokins, there was a friend who said to his father: "I saw the editorial to attack your son this morning, I really scared me." "Yes," Haokins The father replied, "said that it is very fierce. But please remember, there have been no one will play a dead dog." It is really, this dog is more important, and the people who play it can be satisfied. Later, it became the Swanto Prince of the British Edward East, and his fart is also kicked. At that time, he studied in Datmos College in Dynasty - this college is equivalent to the Navy's official school in Anapa, USA. At the beginning of Windsor, I was only 14 years old. One day, an naval officer found that he was crying and asked him what he had. He went to say it first, then finally told the truth: he was kicked by the students of the school. The commander convened all the students and explained the prince to them and did not tell, but he wanted to know why these people want to abuse Windsor prince. After the promotion of the support for a long time, these students finally admitted that when they became the Royal Navy's commander or the captain, they hoped to tell people, they used to kick the king's ass. So, if you are kicked by people, or if you are maliciously criticized by others, please remember that they do this, because this matter can make those people have a self-thoughtful feeling; this usually said You have already achieved it, and it is worth noting. Many people will have a pleasant pleasure than they are higher than them, or when they have more than their success. Carnegie took himself as an example, when he wrote this chapter, he received a woman's letter, and he was able to create a William Ci Ci General in the Salvation Army. Because he used to praise the generals in the broadcast show, this woman wrote Give him, saying that the Ci General invaded her 8 million dollar donations from the rescue poor. This accusation is of course very ridiculous, but this woman doesn't want to find the truth of the matter, just want to knock down a person who is higher than her, so that I am satisfied. Carnegie threw her boring letter into the waste paper, thanked God, so he didn't marry her wife. From her letter, Carnegie can't see what kind of person is in Caica, but it is very clear about her. Many years ago, Shu Bourn has said: "The vulgar people have got a lot of pleasure in the great mistakes and fools." Probably few people will think that the principal of Yale is a vulgar person, but there is a Timothy That of the principal of Yale University, obviously be able to scold the people who campaign for the US president. The principal of Yale University warned: "If this person is elected by the president, we will see the wife and daughter, become a sacrifice of legal prostitution. We will be humiliated, serious damage. Our self-esteem and virtue will disappear Outstanding, making people got angry. "These sentences have been like it is in the Hitler, but not, these words are the immortal Declaration of the Independent Declaration, the Immortal Declaration Buddha.
George Washington has also been "false gentle", "big liar" and "people who have made a little better than murder." ? There is a comics on the newspaper, and he stood on the cruise station. The big knife was preparing to blow his head down; when he rode from the street, a large group of people were screaming again. However, these are a long time ago, maybe since then, human nature has improved. Let's take a look at the experience of the famous adventurents, who is shocked by sleds to the North Pole. In the past few hundred years, countless brave people are hungry and even killed in order to achieve this goal. Pere is almost died because of hunger and cold, there are eight toes have to cut off because of the frozen injuries, and the various disasters he encountered on the road make him worry about itself. Those superior naval officials in Washington are very popular because of Peli. So they lend him to the scientific adventure and nominal, and then "nothing to enjoy the Arctic in the Arctic", and people may also trust this sentence, because a person is almost impossible to believe what they want to believe. They want to humiliate Terui's determination to finally ordered the President McKinley directly ordered Peli to continue his research in the Arctic. If Peset is sitting in Washington's Navy Headquarters, will he be criticized by others? No, because he won't be important to causing others. The experience in General Grant will be worse than Peru. In 1862, General Grant won the first decisive victory of the North Army, so that he suddenly became a national idol, even in a distant Europe also cause considerable repercussions. This war has led to the Mississippi river bank from Maine, and it is not a celebration. But after the six weeks of this great victory, he was arrested, the soldier was won, making him humiliate and disappointed. Why is Grant to arrested the peak state of victory? Most of them because he has caused the arrogant superiors to his jealousy and envy. If we are worried because of unfair criticism, please remember this rule: "Unfair criticism is usually a camouflage compliment. Remember, never play a dead dog." Albert Special Herbide said: "Everyone is at least five minutes a very stupid big stupid. The so-called wisdom is how a person does not exceed this five minutes." Silly people will launch a temper by a little criticism Come, but smart people are eager to learn more from these blame, against them and "hinder them on the road", learn more experience. Whitman said this: "Don't you have anything from those who envy you, good to you, often standing around you? From those against you, accusing you, or stand on the road Holding you, isn't you learn? "Don't wait for our enemies to criticize us or our work, we have to win them at this point, we have to do our own stricter critics, We have to have the opportunity to find out what we have made all the weaknesses in the enemy. This is what it is done in Darwin. I got such awareness, he spent fifteen years. This is this: When Darwin completed his manuscript of the immortal master, he learned that the publication of this book with revolutionary insights in the creature, will move the entire knowledge and religious circles, so he did it. His own critics. He spent fifteen years to check his information and studied his theory and criticized his conclusion. This is fully prepared for criticism. If someone marks you are "a stupid", what should you do? Is it angry? Do you feel insults? Lincoln is doing this: Once, Edward Stanton said that Lincoln is "a stupid". The reason why Stadon is angry because Lincoln interferes with Stanton's business, because in order to please a selfish politician, Lincoln issued an order to mobilize some military.
Stantins not only refused to execute Lincoln's order, but also Dawn issued this order. It is the behavior of idiot. what's the result? When Lincoln heard the words of Stadon, he replied very calmly: "If Stadon said that I am a stupid, then I must be a stupid, because he has never been wrong. I have to take a look Lincoln saw Steinon, he knew that he had issued a wrong command, so he recovered his life. As long as it is a sincere criticism, it is a constructive criticism based on knowledge, and Lincoln is very welcome. Carnegie believes that you and I should also welcome this criticism, because we can't even hope that we have three-quarters of the right opportunity, at least, this is Roosevelt that he wants to have; and he is entering Main White House. Einstein is the most famous thinker in the world, and also recognizes that his conclusion is wrong with ninety-nine. "Our enemy's opinion," Luo Hou Card said, "It is more close to the truth than our own opinions." Carnegie admitted that many times he knew this sentence is right. However, whenever someone starts criticizing him, as long as he is not paying attention, it will immediately start to defend himself - or even may not know what critics will say. Carnegie said that every time he did this, he felt very annoyed. Everyone else doesn't like to accept criticism, and I hope to hear someone else's praise, no matter whether these criticisms or these praises are fair. We are not a logical creature, but an emotional animal, our logic is like a small canoe, a deep and dark, a lot of emotional oceans. If we hear some people say our bad things, we don't want to defend themselves. We have to be different from the public, you must be modest, we must go to see those who criticize us, "If you criticize my people know all my mistakes, he will definitely be more strict than now." We have to rely on you to win someone else's cheers. So what should we do when we are subject to unfair criticism? Carnegie tells us a way: When you feel because of being angry with unfair criticism, stop saying "Waiting for one class ... I am far away from the so-called perfect process? If Einstein admits percentage When he was wrong, he was wrong. Maybe I had at least eighty percent, maybe I should be criticized. If it is true, I should thank you, and I want to me It is beneficial to this. "Charles Lukeman is the president of Puein, spending a million dollars a year to fund Boblobe. He never looked at those who praised this program, but insisted on seeing those who criticized. He knows that he can learn a lot from those letters. Ford is also eager to find what shortcomings they have in management and business, recently have an opinion survey for all employees, ask them to criticize the company. Carnegie knows a person who sells soap, he often invites others to criticize him. When he just started to sell soap for Ke Gang, the order came very slow, he was worried that he would lose his work. He knows that there is no problem with soap and price, so the problem must be on his own body. When each business is not made, he will walk in the street and want to figure out the problem. Is it too vague? Is it his attitude? Sometimes he will return to the customer to say: "I will come back, I don't want to sell soap to you again. I am coming back to get your advice and criticism, I can't tell me, I have to sell you a few minutes. What is the place when soap? Your experience is more than me, it is more than me, please give me a criticism, please tell me very well, don't hurt me. "This attitude made him a lot Friends and a lot of invaluable advice.
After a series of setbacks, today he is a chairman of CPP soap companies - this is the world's largest soap company, his name is E · H. Li Ce, last year, only fourteen people in the United States are more than him. many. Therefore, if you don't worry about the criticism of others, please remember the following rules: "We have to leave your own stupid records, criticize our own. Because we can't want to do perfect, let us When I do E · H · Li Shi's way, let us ask someone to give us very frank, useful, constructive criticism. "Once, Carnegie visited Smithri Berler Major - that is the nickname Currently called the old "cone eye", the general of the old "hell devil" Berler. He is all the most colorful and many generals who have a person who have passed the US Navy Marine Team. He told Ka Niki. When he is young, he desperately wants to be the most popular figure, and you want everyone to impress him. In that day, a little small criticism will make him feel very sad. However, he admitted that he became strong in the thirty years in the Marine Corps. "I was scolded and humiliated", "he said," I am a yellow dog, it is a snake, it is a skunk. I have been embarrassed by the experts, all the people who can think of it in English. The words were used to have been used to over. Will this do you feel sad? I have now heard someone who tells anything in me, and even not to look at what people are saying this. "Maybe It is the old "cone eye" Berler to criticize the criticism. However, there is a matter of affirmation: most of our people have seen this bad thing for this non-value. Carnegie still remembers that there is a reporter from the New York "Sun Daily" in many years, and participated in the Demonstration Teaching Society of the Adult Education Class of Carnegie Office, attack Carnegie and his work. Carnegie was really malfunction, thinking that this is an insult to himself. He called the Chairman He Jisi of the Executive Committee of the Sun Daily, special request to publish an article, explaining the truth of the facts, can't ridicule him like this. At that time, he was determined that the person who had to let the crime were appropriately punished. Carnegie said that he is now very embarrassed to the act of the time. He now understands that the people who buy that newspaper will not see that article; some people who see people will use it only when they are doing a small matter; and truly notice this article There are more than half of the people who have forgotten this matter after a few weeks. Carnegie finally understands that the average person will not think of you, or if you care about what people who criticize us, they will only think of themselves - before breakfast, have been very late until the middle of the night. They care about their own small problems, thanks to you or I am more concerned about a thousand times. Even if you have been bored with my boring gossip, I was cheated as a laughter, I was cheated, and I was springer from behind, or I was sold by a one of our closest friends. Know your own pity, you should remind us to yourself, think about those things you encountered by Jesus Christ. In his twelve the most intimate friends, there was a betrayal of him, and the bounty of the greed, if it was equally worthy of money, only 19 dollars; his closest friend has one in another, in him When you can't get trouble, you will discard him, and he still don't recognize Jesus at all, say it. The person who sells him accounts for one-third. This is what Jesus has encountered. Why do you want us to be better than him? Carnegie has found many years ago, although he can't prevent others from doing any unfair criticism, he can do a more important thing: you can decide whether you want yourself to be interfered with unfair criticism.
If this is more clear, he does not agree with all criticisms, the opposite, he said is just ignored the unfair criticism. Once, Carnegie asked Yelina Roosevelt, how did she deal with unfair criticism? She is criticized, she has a very enthusiastic friend and a fierce enemy, which is probably much more than any woman who lives in the White House. She told Ka Shui, she was very shy when she was young, and I was afraid that others said her. In order to cope with these criticism, she had to go to her aunt, she said: "Aunt, I want to do this, but I am afraid that I will be criticized." Aunt is looking at her: "Don't worry about people Say, as long as you know that you are right. "Yelina Roosevelt told the Ka Niki. After she stayed in the White House for many years, this point of advice has always been the principle of her. Avoid all criticisms, it is "As long as you think that it is right - because you will be criticized. 'Don't die, don't do it." This is her advice to us. The late Matthew Brula, I was also very sensitive to the criticism of Wall Street, Fortie, USA, Camui asked if he had a criticism of others? He replied: "Yes, I am very sensitive to this matter in my early years. I am eager to make everyone in the company think that I am perfect. If they don't think so, I will make me worry. As long as one People have some complaints, I will think about him. But what I do, I will always make another person angry. Then I want to satisfy this person, I will annoying another person. Finally, I found that the more I want to please others, to avoid the criticism of others, I will increase my enemies. So I finally said to myself: 'As long as you are superior, you will be criticized, so It is still good to have a good time. 'This is a great helpful. From then, I decided to do only do my best to do it, put me the umbrella, let the criticize my rain from me. Instead of dripping in my neck. "Dimsh Taylor further, he let the criticized rainwater flow into his neck, and laugh for this thing, and it is true. For a while, he held a rest time in the Aeroying Music Symphony Orchestra in the afternoon, published music comments. There is a woman write a letter to him, saying that he is "liar, traitor, snake and idiot". Mr. Taylor said in his book called "People and Music": "I guess she only likes to listen to music, I don't like to listen to the speech." Mr. Taylor read this letter in the second week of broadcasting program. Millions million listeners listened. A few days later, he received another letter from this wife, said that she did not change her opinion. Mr. Taylor said: "She still believes that I am a liar, traitor, snake and idiot." We really can't admire the people who use this attitude to accept criticism. We admire his sampling, unhappy attitude and his sense of humor. Charles Shu Wai said said to the University of Princeton, said that the most important lesson he has learned is a old German who did something in his steel factory. The old Germans have been dispatched with other workers for the war, and they were thrown into the river by those people. "When he walked into my office," Shu Weibo said, "It is a mud and water. I asked him how to treat people who throw him into the river? He replied: 'I just laughed.' "Mr. Shu Weibo said that later he did the words of this old German as his motto:" Just smiled. "Carnegie pointed out that when you become a victim of unfair criticism, this motor is especially used.
