Carnegie interpersonal relationship
Two faces the criticism of others
Carnegie believes that when you have someone else, if you are right, you will try it.
And the ground, skillfully let the other party agree to you; and if you are wrong, you will be promptly admitted. Do this, compare
Effective and more interesting for yourself.
Carnegie has taken a thing of your experience as an example. The place where he lives is almost geographical in New York.
Heart; but from his home a minute, you can reach a forest. Spring time, black strawberry bush
White, squirrels nest in the forest, the horses grow high. This piece is not destroyed, called the forest
Park - it is indeed a forest, perhaps with Columbus to find out that there is no difference in the afternoon of the Americas.
He often takes Lez to the park. Rez is his little Bosen bulldog, it is a hurting a hurt
Dog; because of rarely encounter pedestrians in the park, he often does not replace the Lezline chain or wear mask.
One day, Carnegie and his puppy met a riding police in the park. He seems to be in an urgent way to express
His authority.
"Why do you let your dog run, don't give it to the chain or wear a mask?" He replied to the Kets.
"Don't you know this is illegal?"
"Yes, I know," Carnegie answered, "But I think it will not bite here."
"You don't think! The law is not what you think. It may be bitten here, or bitten children.
This time I didn't pursue it, but if I went back, I saw this dog without the chain or a mask in the park, you will
It is necessary to explain with the judge. "
The cardiocuseg is politely promised to follow.
But Rez does not like to wear a mask, Carnegie doesn't like it, so I decide to try my luck. Things are very good
Successfully, but then it touched. One afternoon, they ran on a hillside and suddenly met a police.
.
Carnegie decided that the police did not wait for the man. He said: "Mr. Police Officer, this is getting me on the spot,
I'm guilty. I have no call, there is no excuse. Last week, there was a police warned me, if it took a puppy and didn't
It will be punished by wearing a mask. "
"It's so, I said," The police responded, "I know that when there is no one, I can't help but bring this one.
The puppy came out to play. "
"Indeed," Carnegie replied, "but this is illegal."
"The puppy like this is probably not biting others," said the police instead.
"No, it may bite the squirrel," Carnegie said.
"You probably look too serious," he told Ka Nai, "Let's do it, you just let it run
Crossing the hills, I can't see the place - things are even. "
Carnegie sighed, that policeman, is also a person, he wants a feeling of an important person;
When he blame himself, the only way to enhance his self-respect is compassionate with tolerance.
Carnegie's way to handle this kind of thing is that there is no positive confrontation with him, admitting him absolutely correct, it is absolutely wrong
, Refreshing, confession, and sincerely admitted this. Because standing on his side, he spoke for each other.
The whole thing is over in a harmonious atmosphere.
So, if we know that it will be blamed, why not grab a step, you will first plead guilty? Listen to your own condemnation
It is much better than the criticism of yourself.
If you know that someone wants or prepares you, you will first blame your other side to blame your words, then he
I have no way to take you. In this case, ten eight nine will treat you with a wide, understanding, ignoring your mistakes - as the police did.
Phi Dingnan Valentines, a commercial artist, he used this skill, won an irritating art
Good impression of Gu.
"Precise, meticulous, is the most important project to draw commercial advertising and publication products." Mr. Warron said.
"Some art editing requires us to complete the tasks they make up. In this case, it is inevitable.
There are some small errors. I know that a certain artist always likes to pick a bone from the egg. I left his office
When I always feel uncomfortable, not because of his criticism, but because he attacks my method. Recently I have paid one
A very anxious to give him, and later he called me, asked me to go to his office immediately, saying a problem. When I
After you go to his office, just as I expected - hassry. He is full of hostile and finally has a chance. In him
After malicious blaming me, it is exactly the opportunity to use the self-criticism you have learned. So I said: 'Mr. a certain,
If you are good, my mistake must not forgive. I have worked for you for so many years, I really should know how to paint
Talented. I feel embarrassed. '"He started to defend me for me.' Yes, your words are not wrong, but
This is not a serious mistake. Just - '"I interrupted him.' Any mistake, 'I said,'
It can be very big, people are uncomfortable. '"He started to insert the mouth; but I didn't let him insert. I am very satisfied, I have born
I criticized myself - I really like this.
"'I should be more careful,' I continue to say. 'You give me a lot of work, the photography should make you full
I intend to re-come again. '"' No! No! 'He opposed.' I don't want to trouble you. 'He
Praise my work, tell me that I just need to change a little bit, and I don't spend how much money is it.
After all, this is just a section - not worth worrying.
"I am eager to criticize myself, so that he anger. As a result, he invited me to come to lunch. Before he broke up, he opened it.
Zhang check and explain me another work. "
A person has courage to admit his mistake, or you can get some degree of satisfaction. This can not only eliminate crimes
Malian and self-guarding atmosphere, and help solve the problems made by this error.
Bruscher Harway, Abkkuk, New Mexico, mistakenly sent a full salary for employees who invited sick leave. in
After he found this error, he told this employee to correct this mistake. He wants to reduce the next payment check.
Go to the payment amount. The employee said that this will bring him serious financial issues, so request the staging buckle.
His more salary. But in this way, Harvey must first obtain the approval of his superiors. "I know this," Harvey said,
"You will make the boss are very dissatisfied. When I consider how to deal with this situation in a better way, I know
All the chaos are my mistakes, I have to recognize it in front of the boss.
"I walked into his office and told him that I made a mistake and then told him the whole situation. His big hair
The temper said that this should be the mistake of the personnel department, but I repeatedly said that this is my mistake, and he accused accounting loudly.
The negligence of the department, I explained that this is my mistake, he blame two two colleagues in the office, but I have repeatedly
This is my mistake. Finally, he looked at me, 'Ok, this is your mistake. Now solve this problem now
Bar. 'I change the mistake, I didn't bring trouble to anyone. I think I am very good, because I can
It is a tense situation and there is courage to find excuses. Since then, my boss value me more. "
Carnegie tells us that even if the fool will defense for his own mistake, he can admit that he is wrong.
Get respect of others, and there is a kind of noble feeling. If we are right, you must convince others agree. but me
They are wrong, they should be recognized soon.
In 1929, a major event in the United States vibrating the national education world, and scholars from all over the United States rushed to Chicago.
lively. In the past few years, there is a young man named Luoke Haokins, graduated from Yale University and half-time.
Writers, logging workers, family teachers, and salespersons selling garments. Now, after eight years, he is appointed as
The fourth wealthy university in the United States - the principal of the University of Chicago. Just thirty years old! It's hard to believe. Older generation
The educators are shaking their heads. People are in the "Godboy" on the head of his criteria.
Speaking of him, saying that he is too young, the experience is not enough - saying that his educational concept is very immature, even big
The newspaper also participated in the attack.
On the day of Robble Haokins, there was a friend who said to his father: "I saw the newspaper this morning.
The editorial attacked your son, really scared me. "
"Yes," Haokins' father replied, "said very fierce. But please remember, never kick
Di dead dog. "
Indeed, this dog is more important, and the people who play it can be satisfied. Later became Windsor, EDP
The prince (the Duke of Windsor), his fart is also kicked by people. At that time he read in Datmos College in Dynasty
book--
This college is equivalent to the Navy's official school in Anaparo, USA. The Warzha prince was 14 years old, one day,
A naval officer found that he was crying and asked him what he had. He went to say it first, and later finally said true: he
Kicking by the school students. The commander convened all the students and explained the prince to them and did not say it, but
He wants to know why these people want to abuse Windsor princes like this.
After the pushing of the push, after half a day, these students finally admitted: Waiting for them to become a royal sea.
When the army commander or the captain, they hope to tell people that they have kicked the king's ass.
So, if you are kick being kicked, or if you are maliciously criticized by others, please remember that they do this.
Love is because this matter can make those people have a self-thoughtful feeling; this usually said that you have become
Just, it is worth paying attention to others. Many people are jealous of education than them, or in all aspects.
When people have more people, there will be a pleasant pleasure. Carnegie took himself as an example, he wrote this chapter, pick up
To a woman's letter, I will have a William Ci General in the Salvation Army because he praised cloth in the broadcast show.
The Ci General, so the woman wrote to him, saying that the Cati General accounted for 8 million US dollars that she raised the rescue poor.
This accusation is of course very ridiculous, but this woman is not to find the truth of the matter, just want to knock down a ratio than her.
High people make themselves satisfied. Carnegie lost her boring letter into the waste paper, and thanked God.
Fortunately, he didn't marry her wife. From her letter, Carnegie can't see what kind of person is the general of CiChen, but
I am very clear about her. Many years ago, Shu Bourn has said: "The vulgar people have been very wrong in the great mistakes and foolish.
Big pleasure. "
Probably few people will think that the principal of Yale is a vulgar person, but there is an Yale University.
The principal's Timothy Dot, but obviously be able to scold the people who campaign the US president. This Yale University
President warning: "If this person is elected by the president, we will see the wife and daughter, become a prey of legitimate prostitution. We will be humiliated, serious damage. Our self-esteem and virtue will disappear, make people God
Be ate. "
These sentences are like it is in the Hitler, but not, these words are Yu Tamas Jefferson, that is
That written independent declaration, created the immortal Jefferson of democracy.
George Washington has also been "false gentle", "big liar" and "big liar" and "big liar" and "big liar"
"What? Is there a comics on the newspaper to stand on the cruise station, then the big knife is preparing to blow his head down;
When he rode from the street, a large group of people were surrounded by him.
However, these are a long time ago, maybe since then, human nature has improved. let me
Let's take a look at the encounter of the famous adventurents of the famous explorer in the world by sleds. For a hundred years,
Countless brave people are hungry and even died in order to achieve this goal. Pere is almost almost hungry
Dead, there are eight toes have to cut off due to frozen injuries, and all the disasters he encountered on the road make him worry
Will go crazy. Those superior naval officials in Washington are very popular because of Peli. in
It is they obitable that he fakes a scientific adventure and the name of the company, and then "there is nothing to enjoy the Arctic", and people
They may also trust this sentence because a person is almost impossible to believe what they want to believe. They want to humiliate
Perise's determination is strong to finally order the President McKinley to make Peli to continue his research in the Arctic.
Work.
If Peset is sitting in Washington's Navy Headquarters, will he be criticized by others?
No, because he won't be important to causing others.
The experience in General Grant will be worse than Peru. In 1862, General Grant won the first time in the North Army.
The decisive victory has made him suddenly become a national idol, even in distant Europe also cause considerable repercussions.
This war has led to the Mississippi river bank from Maine, and it is not a celebration. But here get this
After six weeks of great victory, he was arrested, the soldier was taken, and he was desperately desperately and disappointed.
Why is Grant to arrested the peak state of victory? Most of them are because he caught those arrogance
The superiors have his jealousy and envy.
If we worry because of unfair criticism, please remember this rule:
"Unfair criticism is usually a camouflage compliment. Remember, no one will play a dead dog."
Elbert Hurberde said: "Everyone is at least five minutes every day, it is a very stupid stupid. The so-called wisdom
Hui is how a person does not exceed these five minutes. "
The stupid person will be tempered by a little criticism, but the smart people are eager to blame them from these,
I learned more experience to people and "obstructing them on the road". The American poet Whitman said this:
"Don't you all from those who envy you, good to you, often staying around you? From those
Against you, accusing you, or standing on the road, isn't you learn more? "
Don't wait for our enemies to criticize us or our work, we have to win them at this point, we
To do your own stricter critics, we have to find out what we weak before you can have the opportunity to say.
To correct, this is what Darwin is doing. I got such awareness, he spent fifteen years. Things are like this:
When Darwin completed his manuscript of his immortal masterpiece, he understood that publishing this creation of creatures.
The revolutionary book will move the entire knowledge world and the religious circles, so he made his own critics. He spent ten
For five years, check his information, study his theory, and criticize his conclusion. This is fully prepared for criticism.
If someone marks you are "a stupid", what should you do? Is it angry?
Do you feel insults? Lincoln is doing this: Once, Edward Stanton said Linken is "a stupid
"The reason why Stanton is angry because Lincoln interferes with Stadon's business, because in order to please a very selfish
The politician, Lincoln issued a command to mobilize some military. Stantins not only refuse to perform Lincoln's order, but
And Dawn Linken issued this order for idiot. what's the result? When Lincoln heard the words of Stadon,
He replied very calmly: "If Stadon said that I am a stupid, then I must be a stupid because he almost
There is no fault. I have to take a look at it. "
Lincoln saw Steinon, he knew that he had issued a wrong command, so he recovered his life. As long as it is sincere
The criticism is a constructive criticism with knowledge as a basis, and Lincoln is very welcome.
Carnegie believes that you and I should welcome this criticism, because we can't even want what we do.
There are three-quarters of the right opportunity, at least, this is Roosevelt that he hopes to have it; and he is entering the main white house. Love
Instein is the most famous thinker in the world, and it is also wrong to recognize that there is ninety-nine percent.
"Our enemy's opinion," Luo Hou Card said, "It is closer to the truth than our own opinions."
Carnegie admitted that many times he knew that this sentence is right. However, whenever some people began to criticize him, only
If he is not paying attention, it will immediately be able to defend himself to yourself - and may even do not know the critics will
Say something. Carnegie said that every time he did this, he felt very annoyed. Everyone we don't like to pick up
Crude criticism, and I hope to hear the praise of others, no matter whether these criticisms or these praises are fair. We are not one
The logic of logic, but a kind of emotional animal, our logic is like a small canoe, and it is dark again.
The wind and waves are lobaking in the emotional ocean.
If we hear some people say our bad things, we don't want to defend themselves. We have to be different from the public,
Ignore, we must go to see the people who criticize us, "If you criticize me know all my mistakes,
His criticism will definitely be more strict than it is now, "we have to rely on herself to win someone else's cheers.
So what should we do when we are subject to unfair criticism? Carnegie tells us a way: when you
I feel that I am angry with unfair criticism, stop first, "Wait a class ... I am away from the so-called perfect process.
What is the difference in the order? If Einstein admits 99%, he is wrong, maybe I have at least 100%
The eighty is wrong, maybe I should be such criticism, if it is true, I should say it.
Thanks, I want to get a benefit here. "
Charles Lukeman is a president of Puertoir, spending a million dollars a year. he
Never look at those who praised this program, but insist on see those who criticized. He knows that he can be from those
The letter learned a lot.
Ford is also rushing to find out what kind of shortcomings in management and business, recently all employees
Once an opinion survey, ask them to criticize the company.
Carnegie knows a person who sells soap, he often invites others to criticize him. When he just started to be Ke Gong
When the company promoted soap, the order came very slow, he was worried that he would lose his work. He knows that soap and price are
There is no problem, so the problem must be in his own body. When each business is not made, he is in the street.
Going to go, I want to figure out the problem. Is it too vague? Is it his attitude? Sometimes he will return to the customer to say: "I will come back, I don't want to sell soap to you again. I return
Come hope to get your advice and criticism, you can't tell me, I have sold soap to you a few minutes.
Where is there any place? Your experience is more than me, it is more than me, please give me a criticism, please very tall
Sincerely, tell me if you don't even cover it. "
This attitude has made him won many friends and a lot of invaluable advice.
After a series of setbacks, today he is a chairman of CPP soap companies - this is the world's largest
Soap Company, his name is E · H. Li G., last year, only fourteen people in the United States were more than him.
Therefore, if you want to be worried about the criticism of others, please remember the following rules:
"We have to leave your own stupid records, criticize our own. Because we can't want to do it perfect
The extent, let us do it as E · H · Li Shi's way, let us ask someone to give us very frank, useful,
Constructive criticism. "
Once, Carnegie visited Smith Ritler Major General - that the nickname is the old "cone",
General of the old "Hell Devil".
He is all the most colorful and many generals who have a person who have passed the US Navy Marine Team.
He told the Ka Niki. When he is young, he desperately wants to be the most popular person, and everyone wants everyone to have him.
good impression. In that day, a little small criticism will make him feel very sad. But he admitted that in the Navy
The thirty years in the land team made him strong. "I was scolded and humiliated", he said, "I am yellow.
Dog, is a poisonous snake, is a skunk. I was over from those who swear people, and all I couldn't think out in English.
The past dirty words have been used to over. Will this do this feel sad? I have heard someone now after me.
If you say something, don't even turn your head to see if there is this sentence. "
Perhaps the old "cone" Berler is too exciting to criticism. But there is a matter of affirmation: we most
Thousands of people have seen this bad thing. Carnegie still remembers that there is a year ago
New York "Sun Daily" reporter, participated in the Demonstration Teaching Society of the Adult Education Class of Carnegie Office, attacking the card at the meeting
Niki and his work. Carnegie was really malfunction, thinking that this is an insult to himself. He called
The Chairman of the "Sun Daily" Executive Committee, Jiha Hegis, special request to publish an article, explain the truth of the facts,
Can't ridicule him like this. At that time, he was determined that the person who had to let the crime were appropriately punished.
Carnegie said that he is now very embarrassed to the act of the time. He only knows now, buy the people of the newspaper
Halfway will not see that article; some people who see people will only look at it as a small matter;
I really pay attention to the people of this article, and half of them forget this matter after a few weeks.
Carnegie finally understands that the average person will not think of you, or if you care about what people criticize us.
They will only think of themselves - before breakfast, after breakfast, it is very late to be very late. They have their own
The level of concern is more concerned about it than the big news that I can place it or I am dying.
Even if you have been boring gossip, you are a laughter, and it is cheated, it is stabbed by people.
The knife is sold for a knife, or is sold by a one of our closest friends.
To remind us, think about those things that Jesus Christ encounter. There is a twelve closest friends.
I betrayed him, and the bounty greetings, if it was equally made into the money, only 19 dollars; his most intimate friend has another one, when he picked up, he gave up him, and also three times He is not recognized by Jesus at all.
One side said it was swearing. The person who sells him accounts for one-third. This is what Jesus has encountered. Why is it
Hope that we can better than him?
Carnegie has found many years ago, although he can't stop others from doing any unfair criticism,
But he can do a more important thing: you can decide whether you want yourself to be disturbed by unfair criticism.
If this is clearer, he does not agree with all criticisms, the opposite, he
It's just ignored the unfair criticism. Once, Carnegie asked Yelina Roosevelt, how did she deal with it?
Some unfair criticism? She is a matter of criticism, she has a friend and fierce enemy, probably
Any woman who lives in the White House is much more.
She told Ka Shui, she was very shy when she was young, and I was afraid that others said her. In order to cope with these criticism, she is not
I don't want to find her aunt, she said: "Aunt, I want to do such a thing, but I am afraid I will be criticized."
Aunt is looking at her and said, "Don't worry about it, as long as you know that you are right."
According to Lotan Roosevelt, when she stayed in the White House after many years, she has always been her.
The principle of acting. Avoid all the only ways to criticize, "Just do your heart thinking is right - because you
Anyway, it will be criticized. 'Do it, you should die, don't do it. "This is her advice to us.
The late Matthew Brula, I also asked him by the President of Forty International Company, Fortie, Wall Street, Carnegie.
Is it very sensitive to the criticism of others? He replied: "Yes, I am very sensitive to this kind of thing in the early years. I am in a hurry
It is perfect for everyone to make everyone think that I am perfect. If they don't think so, I will make me worry.
As long as a person has some complaints, I will think about him. But what I have done, I have
Another person will be angry. Then I want to satisfy this person, I will annoy. Finally I sent
Now, the more I want to please others, to avoid the criticism of others, and increase my enemies. So in the end me
Said yourself: 'As long as you are superior, you will be criticized, so it is good to habits early. '
Point is great to help me. From then on, I decided to do only my best to do it, put me the umbrella, let
I criticized my rain from me, not dripping in my neck. "
Di M Taylor further, he let the criticized rain flow into his neck, and laugh at this thing,
And it is true. For a while, he held an air concert at the New York Philharmonic Orchestra in the afternoon of every Sunday.
Rest time, publish music. There is a woman write letter to him, saying he is "liar, traitor, snake and
"Mr. Taylor said in his book called" People and Music ":" I guess she only likes to listen to music, not happy
Listening to speaking. "In the second week of broadcasting program, Mr. Taylor read this letter to millions of listeners.
After the day, he received another letter written by this wife, indicating that she did not change her opinion. Mr. Taylor
Say: "She still thinks that I am a liar, traitor, snake and idiot." We really can't admire this
Attitude to accept criticism. We admire his sampling, unhappy attitude and his sense of humor.
Charles Shu Wai said said to the University of Princeton, said that the most important lesson he has learned is a old German who did something in his steel factory. Some workers with other workers
The battle problem has been dispatched and has been thrown into the river by those people. "When he walked into my office," Mr. Shu Weibo
Said, "It's all mud and water. I asked him how he treated someone who throwing him into the river? He replied: 'I just
smile. '"Mr. Shu Weibo said, after he took the words of this old German as his motto:" Just laugh
laugh. "
Carnegie pointed out that this motto is especially used when you become a victim of unfair criticism. Others married you
At the time, you can return to him, but what can you say for those who "only smile"?
If Lincoln learned the ingredients of his words, I am afraid he has already collapsed the pressure of civil war.
Collapse. He wrote how to deal with his criticism, has become a literary classic. In the second largest
During the war, Mike Arthur had copied it, hanging on the back wall of his headquarters; and Qiu Jil also put
This paragraph is inserted in the mirror, hanging on the wall of his study.
This paramour is like this: "If I just try to read - more don't have to answer all the attacks on me,
This shop is not close to the door and do something else. I do my best to do the best way to do - do my best.
And I plan to keep doing things like this. If the result proves that I am right, even if I spend ten times, I will say
Is not right, there is no use. "
So, when you are unfair criticism, let us remember the following rules: 2:
"Do your best may do it, then get your broken umbrella, lest to criticize your rain smoothly along your neck
The child is behind. "
In addition, only people who lack wisdom will find excuses for their own mistakes; he will defend it; he can do this, only
Make yourself in a more adverse position. And a brave, open-minded, people who can recognize their mistakes, often
Win the understanding and respect of others. The unique writer Apaba Heba knows this truth. His sharp
The sharp strokes often cause some people's strong dissatisfaction.
But he always has a rare way to handle contradictions, making his enemies a friend. Once, one read
Write a letter to take him a meal, can be said to be a dog's blood shot. He repeatedly read it several times, then gave this
The reader wrote a reply. He said in a reply:
"Recalling, I can't agree with my own point of view. I often have this situation: what I wrote yesterday,
It is not necessarily very satisfied today. I am very happy to know what you have given to me. When you are convenient, I welcome
You can travel, we can further exchange views. Thank you for your sincerity. "
What can you still say in the face of such a person who treats yourself?
When you are right, try to use gentle, clever way to make the other party agree with you;
Once it is wrong, it will admit your mistakes quickly and sincerely. Don't forget this old saying: "
Method, you can't get satisfactory results; how your gain will be much more than you expect. "
Carnegie used, it looks a bit negative, but the effect is positive, and the so-called "refer to"
In two steps, why is we not?
Therefore, for a visionary business, he will never take care of a business in front of him. In his mind,
Customers are flowing, changing, and there are positive and anti-two propagation effects. Any today's customers, existing
It is possible to become a long-term customer, and it is also possible to become a hasty visitor. And any visitor has
Customers that can be converted into tomorrow. Any today's visitors and customers will become the quality of the company, the image exceptions, bringing or takes more customers to the company.
It is for these reasons. Wise merchants always treat and pick up the talents at the long-term vision when doing business.
All people who have been transactions, temporarily not transaction, always understand them with a large number of positions in the body,
Avoid arguing to win them, attract them.
