"Cheng Nan", adding behind a "Liu" word, there is a friend of me, saying that this name reminds her of an ancient city gate: that is the ancient city of the north, with a willow tree and dark gray. City brick.
"Cheng Nan" is my name. One year, I want to put this name into my novel, but how can I write? My brother in my mind is too clear, so that I wrote him all the words.
When I got it, I was in the middle of the middle, and he and his band arrived on the site of my friend, so I was in trouble. The name of his band is what I gave, I used my 14-year-old color to give them countless names of colorful oil paintings, and in the end they used, I forgot. When I was 14 years old, I was full of people who were installing, we just grow together. Now I think of it, I am like some plants that are moved into a house, just together, of course, sometimes it will be related to each other.
In fact, I like to play with his band, and they are very interesting. Long haired, there is a combination of two small edits, Indian people. It should be a big two that year. The university is very amazing in my eyes, very gratitude - they don't have to pay in time every day, they play the piano sing. I love the big grass in their campus, I love their air, although I know those air and outside. I walked through the road, then walked through my life, returning to their voice, I like this time.
I have a trying to play with them in that year, people I like, live together. Even if it is only half a weekend, the short afternoon after the school is released, it can make people feel that life is rendered, and the whole child is rejoicing.
At that time, I didn't have a nanjan called "my brother". In fact, I am now inappropriate, I just felt him, I feel that "Cheng Nan" sounds not like brothers, and like a lover, so I said "my brother". My brother's laugh is so calm, I always think that he can do an idol. He took my head, I also took his head. We hug when we were reunited, and took the other party's back. He once smiled and asked me, he grew like an ignorant of Jiang Guo. At that time, I have seen Dong Lian, I am looking at the brothers in the same part of the brothers, I like the 口 口 样, do a wide brave big brother at home, very good. I looked back, my brother was laughing, his hair was also protected from the shoulder. In an instant, I thought that our help is also a family, then I want to cry.
That year, I finally lost my beloved boys. Is Chengnan be my brother in that moment? We went to the bar who once sang, and he often sang a variety of bars when he was going to school. Or a man in the stage is cool, holding a stiff rock pose, the plate is singing, or holding the song list, please take the piano, please feel like playing. Just sitting so, he looked at my little sister, which made me feel uneasy, not used to, I still want to cry. That autumn I was distinguished, and I dodge all around the life that could not escape. Dodge memories, memories of my beloved; also dodge the future, my own future.
Many years later. One day, I stood in the overpass and looked at the following traffic. I suddenly thought about it. I want to know where he is, I found that I miss him, miss his car, the music in the car, he put the hair like it, he looked like a little girl, I would like to share with him. How many months come, how I found my own direction.
Yes, I eventually found my university, I have passed the black forest, the green-haired witch, the ice cream house, etc., to the edge of the fairyland. Later, I was still in my university. They are part of the endless life. They say that youth is iron-hit, we are the soldiers of water. I wrote the song saying that they had passed through the door, and we were still waiting here. They have asked me why I was short, and our voice was a bit impatient. Cheng Nan left the university, his long hair was once a banner. He is indeed a beautiful male child, tall and smart, he wrote poetry and sing rock in the university, he has a lot of beautiful friends, lives with beautiful and young life. In those years he raised a dog, tall and smart dog. I went to the house he rented, his dog was silent at the door, we called it "Xiao Nan". The years were clean and pure. I guess because I have a group of people who can grow together, plant general cute friends, mostly because Jin Nan is our big brother, this makes me feel safe, trusted, and satisfied.
Cheng Nan said that Dad gave him this name, because it felt that the boy's "Liu", always listening to weak, and "Cheng Nan" is the meaning of firm. Very simple wish, Cheng Nan laughed in the bar to tell me. Sometimes I think that his smile is transparent, there is no impurities, there is a little contrary to the image of the big brother. Or sadness is always inevitable, or we have been brothers, I should have to bear something for him. There is a spring for a long time I am listening to him, or watching him quietly at his home clean glass. I found that the feeling of being a brother, I took the head of Xiao Nan, saying: Hey, guys, we go out to go.
Many times sitting in the car out, it is a general white jeep, open, a bit old. Summer before the third year, I used to find a friend in his bus. When he went to his side, there was a very bumpy. I sat in the side of the car and took the window and almost turned out. I am silent, and Jin Nan is also silent. That day, my partner actually didn't speak to me. I know what's going to happen. The whole sky is bored, that light is bored in the afternoon. When I left, I cried on the road. If I didn't want to see that day, I may only want him to see him. C Cross on his bike, in the shadow below the overpass, let me think that he is cold and clear, C said that Jin is telling me that you are here.
Later that day, C opened a car, we went to the wind, because there was no seat belt to be captured by the police uncle. Let's stop the car on the side of the road, then Class C go to the road and the police uncle, so we are rescued, and C is told me. I am in the wind in the evening, think about this is like a western film, I escaped from the strict brother to the men's dating, but also provoked some disaster. Or, for C, Cheng Nan is always trust. Or, Cheng Nan always tends to identify something, do not put it. Chengnan, I think the name gives him some strangeness, when others think about this name, I am reminding him to focus on what, I think. Although "Liu Chengnan" this name, more let me think of a mully forest man in the Ming Dynasty, so that the sword, the long clothes dance, tenderly like water.
I know that Jin Nan is a tenderness, his eyes are tender like water, and he is smarter, healthy and smart like a clear laugh in the TV series. I think of these, I will be almost captured by him and be persuaded by him. He helped me retained all the letters, including countless diaries in the yellow envelope, enrollment materials, design magazines, a variety of exquisite little things, and the scenery and stills taken when they were patrolled around Europe. Sometimes I think he is too stubborn to me. He repeatedly told me and suggesting that my future is what is like, and who is together. This makes me sad, it is difficult to go. Or, I have known my own year, for C, I know that everything will be full of happiness. I just can't do it, I've been caught. At this time, even if it is a tenderness like water, it is healthy, even if he is good at dance swords, dances, and it is difficult to cut off the entanglement of silk. Someone said in the glass of the glass, who can make a clear, and the Nobel Peace Award. So many times like this, for a person who is far away. Maybe in the eyes, Cheng Nan is also his savior, shouldering and look at my responsibilities. I buried the head, stealing the green drink to see the hand in front of the green drink, his hand is growing, and they have danced in the strings, that is his beautiful once. That day we said the "Mountain Song", I was sings the songs we sing together, I wrote to Cheng Nan 24th birthday song, the harmonica is long, the year is in the water. Cheng Nan said that you will find one day, you wake up a morning, I want to go to school. At this time, I realize what I have to go, nothing, you are a familiar thing. Kick it, or you kicked it, or alienated each other. In short, you don't have to go to school, you can't do it, you will feel true funny, you don't want to go to school! I want to build in Mazhe. I said that we are going to go, some things are to lose, this is an inconsistent thing. Some things are governed or lost, they must bear themselves, everything is just choosing, select, and then choose. There is no right or wrong, only careful and unreserved separately.
When I said these words, I always looked at Jin Nan from the other side of the green liquid. I said that I will listen to myself. Sometimes I feel that Jin Nan is my birth, I want to turn him, I like his life, but I can't come. I am born, I am missing everything - I missed the brilliance of folk and poetry, those simple and brave days. I missed the opportunity to say that they really called the brothers, I was just a small half, and the atmosphere was adjusted near a team. I missed my beloved boy, but I was too young, less than something, so that he didn't believe in the existence of beloved with me, and I didn't eventually have a chance to practice the love of my love. I missed the white clothes of those people fluttered. I actually be chased. I tried to forget my age, I only discovered the original discovery in an instant. They left, staying me in the same place, 蹉 蹉 in the rules of time. Of course, I also missed the foreign language department. I ran to the outside to recruit dogs and scratching and butterflies, and some of them were in myself, missed the good things. I will always be behind them, wait and see and envy, maybe, I am just watching and envy some dreams that I have not implemented, and those are not really life.
Cheng Nan said that I always don't forgive myself. Yes, Jin Nan is my youthful witness.
Perhaps there is always a good life. In the autumn of the big four, I wore a professional suit, the scarf in the chest, smiled on the podium of the defense, I eventually captured the wonderful wonderful, I finally didn't regret. Cheng Nan is preparing his master's thesis, and the day before the machine is killed in the day, his machine is also dead, almost losing all the information. Finally, even saved back, Cheng Nanhaha laughed to me: Hey, after the robbery! So the autumn sun is gorgeous, and the mellow is like a year of wine. I lived there, my brothers lived there. I didn't believe this is true. Everything is so good to return to the light, and the sound they laugh is like a beautiful and moving, and I will burning. The last second soul of the candle. That is, from the joy, no logic, no transition. I suddenly remembered a partner to tell me, he actually never liked my text. I was 18 years old that year, I don't want to write something you like by others, I just can't get deceived and hurt. I still remember that day I went back to Nana, that day, everyone is, very strange. Old 2 lying on the sofa watching TV, c hanging the headphones listening something, Xiaofeng is calling his mother, and so on.
Everyone is, always in my brittle and weak, when I cried all over, everyone is there. So that later, everyone is, I feel sad, brittle and weak, and smile is awkward. So the autumn of that year, Cheng Nan always worked on the side of his clean glass, I held his notebook on this side. There are some nights, Chengnan stepped into my door, said: Miss, do you sleep? I just said in the chat room and said that my brother came again, he said, Miss, you sleep; my brother is coming again, saying that the ancestor you sleep; my brother is coming again, said my dear. You sleep; ah, my brother is holding the knife, saying baby, I will kill the fish, let's steam tomorrow?
Cheng Nan always said me, when you walk, I didn't tell me the specific time. I didn't tell me the contact method. I said maybe I want to escape. Some things are beautiful and heavy, I can't afford it. Cheng Nan said that I have been worried about you. I said, I know. I finally found the two books that I thought I had lost in the bookshelf of Chengnan, I cracked all suspense. I read every word written in the year. I read him before leaving him, but I didn't say it, read all the reasons and logic he didn't say. I finally knew that I missed it was 10,000 years of difficult to make up, yes, I will never make up.
Cheng Nan replaced the two diary, I always thought it was lost. I held them in front of him, and c sighed behind him. Cheng Nan shouted out and said: Why do you move my things! This is my thing, I said. Cheng Nan, you have no right to hide something, those are mine. When I said "Is me", I am far away from Zhu Yin to say so much in the cave. She has a whole mountain, moonlight treasure box and last day, and I have long lost all, and no one lends me the machine to save me.
It can also be treated as a dream, it is less than something, it is a regret. But all things clearly written on the thick book of black seal, everything I beloved, and I lost all, everything is indiscriminate. I decided to leave, didn't recall, and I didn't regret it. Maybe I can understand the harm of this, almost equivalent to the boy who left us in that year. I can understand that Jin Nan wants to retain me, as I want to keep a person in that year. This pain process is completely unable to turn back, and it is soft to strong, and then no longer be soft. This may be that I will feel the names and sad reasons. We are growing together, experienced similar events, with a variety of friends. And the feeling of growing, let us feel warm, grateful, and memorial. When I wrote this, I made myself, and I took a strange place together with youth in the first 21 years, and then I will continue to walk around, I am like a total plant, live Have been exhausted and panicked. Sometimes I think of Jin Nan, think of the plain wishes in this name, I seem to know what I will be. Just like I saw my brother, I saw him again and believed, and I couldn't bear it. I can laugh.
This is a suggestion, a hope, a may not be close to relying on, this is closed, walking, and there is no return.
