2004 12.1
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Love BT Parrot (hilarious) small X goes to the bird city. I found a parrot price of 3 yuan. So he asked the Seller: How is this parrot so cheap? Seller: My parrot is stupid! Mom, I taught it for a long time. I will only say a word until now - "Who?" Xiao X I want to be anyway, so I bought it. In the evening, he thought "I don't believe it!", So Xiao X taught it to say other words overnight. But in the morning, the parrot still only says "who?", So Xiao X is angry, lock the door to work. After a while, I came to check the coal gas (IM Z). Xiao Z, "Hey ..." (knocking on the door) Parrot: Who? Small Z: Check the gas. Parrot: Who? Small Z: Check the gas. Parrot: Who? Small Z: Check the gas. In the evening, Xiao X came back. I saw someone lying on the ground and spit white foam. Small x: ~! Who is this?
I heard the house: check the gas. ▲ A person raised a parrot, very powerful, and other birds closed by it were killed by it. Later, the owner came back to a hawk and it put on a piece, waiting for the owner to see, the parrot hangs outside the cage. The owner said: "This is not ****." You can look at it carefully, it is a hawk, the parrot said: "This grandson is really powerful, not shouted, really fight." ▲ There is a love bird, he especially likes the parrot. One day he has been auctioning a parrot in a bird shop. He looked at the parrot color very good to buy, so he shouted: "I am willing to buy 10 US dollars." Lower this parrot! "Then someone shouts:" I am willing to have 20 yuan for US dollars! "The love bird did not want to make people in the parrot, so he shouted 30 yuan ... but another sound is like With him, I went to the love bird called 200 yuan ... The person bought the parrot is very happy, but he suddenly thought: I spent so much money to buy this parrot, if it won't talk Then I will not lose money? ? ? So he went to ask the boss: "Boss ... will you speak this parrot ????" Next he heard the parrot: "Can't talk ?! ?! Do you think who is just right? Price?!?! "▲ A birdman has three parrots. A customer came over and pointed to the first parrot. "1000 yuan." Bird business said. Customers surprised: "Is this expensive?" "Of course, because it will use windows" "What is this?" The customer refers to the second. "2000, because it will use UNIX" "Oh, the third?" "3000. It will ...?" The bird is shriverier, answer: "I don't know what it will." He pointed to the first two parrots, "but two tongs it called 'CTO'." ▲ One person walks on the street to see a businessman selling parrots. Do he see the parrot is very beautiful, ask the merchant parrot talking? Businessman Say: "Of course! Don't believe. You hold it right foot" The person holds the right foot of the parrot. I only listened to the parrot very clearly: "Hello! Hello!" The man is very happy, the businessman said : "You hold it again." The man held the left foot of the parrot with the parrot, only to say that the parrot was very clear: "Goodbye, goodbye ..." The person is more happy. I bought a parrot immediately. After returning home, I will not win. I will touch the left foot of the parrot. I will touch the right foot of the parrot. The parrot also said: Goodbye. Hello. Suddenly he suddenly wants: If I hold it two my feet, what will be said? He grasped two feet of the parrot. I only listen to the parrot and said: "XXXX! Do you want to die!?" ▲ A young man received a gift in the birthday, a spoiled parrot. But soon I found this parrot full of mouth, very rude, and I didn't know polite. He is determined to change the parrot. Every day, polite language is polite, teach it the words of elegant vocabulary, put soft music, but use
Nor, the parrot is still full of flowers. He shouted in the parrot, and the parrot shouted him even more. Once, he breathed, throw the parrot into the refrigerator. After a few seconds, he heard the parrot was thrown inside, yelling, cursing. Suddenly, it's quiet, and there is no one bit. Half minute passed, still no sound. He worried that the parrot was frozen and immediately opened the refrigerator. The parrot was quietly coming out, stood on his arm, said with a very sincere tone: "I am sorry that I am angry, I used to be not right, I decided that I didn't say it before, I didn't swear, please You forgive me. "The young man was amazed at the change of the parrot, I haven't come to say anything, the parrot said:" Can I ask what the chicken is wrong? "▲ When the stupid entry, I took a parrot. Customs personnel told him: "Mr.!" You have also pay taxes. "" How much should I pay? "" Live 50 US dollars, if it is a specimen as long as $ 15! "At this time, he heard the parrot hoarse Called: "Big stupid! Don't take a door!" ▲ One day my heart is coming, I want to buy a bird who will only speaking back to raise, so I went to a bird shop, I saw a parrot lying in the door. In the cage, there is still no movement, a feet also hang in the cage, just want to ask the boss, seeing a paper outside the cage, writing "I have not sick", "the foot is not hurt", "Not dead", "I like it like this", I feel that this parrot is full, I bought it home ... a week, teach this parrot every day ..... " Dad "," call Dad ", but it has no reaction, will only sleep every day, after two or three rituals are still the same. This can be fired, just throw it into the chicken cage to stop ... When you look at it every day, I saw a parrot grabbed a chicken and said "calling my father", "called Dad" ... ▲ said a woman Rise, I bought a pareus. I didn't expect to bring home, it said the first sentence is: "Do you want to go to bed with me?" Ms. He listens, thinking: Broken, outsiders thought this is what I teach, this doesn't take my lady The image was destroyed. So she wants to do something, I want to pay the parrot to say some elegant things, but the satellite is the iron, only to say a word: "Do you want to go to bed with me?" ... What should I do? " When the lady lost his claim, he heard that the priest also raised a parrot (public), and the parrot, not only did not talk about rough words, but a devout, prayer every day. So the lady went to find God for help. The father understood that after her intention, the face was difficult to say: "This, it is difficult to do, in fact, the parrot, there is no deliberate teaching, it is so pious, it may be a long-term influence By the reason. "The father saw the lady lost, and he said:" This way, you put the parrot.
Bring me here, I put them together. I hope that after a period of time, your parrot can be blocked. I can only do this, there is no effect, I will watch the will of the gods ... "Ms. I only listen, and I can only do this. I don't have a saying: Crown Zhu is red? Try it. So she put it. The parrot took to the priest. The priest puts two parrots together in accordance with the promise. The beginning of the paren parrot is still a few cautations, see the one-corner of the cage, silently praying, but she is still tuned. I can't live, I finally said: "Do you want to go to bed with me? "The public parrot heard this, stopped praying, turned and looked at the children's parrot, and suddenly the tears were rain:" Thank God, I pray for so many years, I finally realized ... "▲ a magician in a ship The small cruise is working on a small cruise, and there is a year or two. In the past two years, he has the same show in each night. The audience likes him. However, because the audience is often replaced, so he doesn't have to happiness. I learned a new trick. However, in a few years, the parrot sitting in the back row has been long-term observation, and finally he sees the flaws of the magician drama, and began to dismantle the trick of the magician. For example, when the magician put a bundle When the flow rate is not seen, the parrot will say: "In his back! In his back! "This can get a magician fire, but he is also helpless. The parrot is the captain, he can't move it. One day, this ship leaks water, the result is sinking. The magician hits to a piece of water. Wooden board, then grab the wooden board. This parrot is standing on the other end of the wooden board. They didn't say a word all the way. It is like this for three days in the water. On the fourth day, the parrot finally I can't help but watch the magician: "Forget it, I surrendered, you change the boat there!" "▲ A parrot is shakingly into the bar, flying to the bar." Hey, guy! Give me a coater! Parrot shouted. "Let's don't sell caterpillar here!" The waiter is a bit angry. "What to do?" The parrot took a sentence, and a shake. The next day, the parrot came again, leaps to the bar. "Hey, buddy! I will give me a coater!" The parrot seems to forget yesterday. "Do you not remember! We don't sell caterpillar here!" The waiter was very annoyed. "Is it doing business?" The parrot said. On the third day, the parrot came to the bar, "哧" 上 台 台 台 台 台"Man! Come to a coater!" The parrot is still an old set. "If you dare to wool caterpillar, I will take your mouth shell in this stage!" Said that the waiter waved his fist. "Troning!" The parrot complained, hurriedly fled. On the fourth day, the parrot actually came to the bar. It flies to the bar, "Man! Give me a plate!", The parrot finally changed. "Rolling! We have no nails here!" The waiter jealous.
"So, give me a coater!" ▲ The pet shop owner newly entered a parrot, hung in the door of the store to attract customers. Both Porsche must pass this pet store every day. One day, when Posa passed the store, the parrot suddenly called: "Miss, please wait!" "Is there anything?" Passer asked curiously. "You have really ugly! Ha - Ha -" Parrot music. "You only don't know polite bird!" Pasha was very angry, but he wanted to think, "Forget it, not with a bird." The next day, Porsche said he greeted her: "Miss" "Miss" , Please wait! "" What is this again? "Passer glard. "You have really ugly! Ha - Ha -" Parrot smiles. Porsha is very annoyed, but it is also very comforting yourself: "Posa, don't get angry, and a bird is not born so atmosphere." But after the parrot was laughed a few times, Posa finally couldn't bear, she ran to the pet store, I shouted to the store owner angry: "If you don't take this not to take this broken bird, you will wait for the court!" "I heard this, the shop owner is embarrassed:" Miss, please don't be too Going to my heart, this is a bird just bought from a casino, so the language is a bit vulgar. I have been taking it in these few days. I will guarantee that it will never tell you tomorrow. "Finished, the store owner turned to the parrot:" If you dare to speak in this lady tomorrow, I will blow you! " Listen to it? Fried it! "I heard this, the parrot's pointers suddenly pulled down, see this, Pasha calmed down. The next day, I didn't even hear the ridicule of this Broken bird, Porsa mood is relaxed. After the store At the time, the parrot was still taled to Porsabard: "Miss, please wait! "Pasha is very surprised:" Be careful to be blown out, what do you want to say? "I think you know, Ha - Ha - Ha -" Parrot haha laughed. ▲ On the bus, a young man in the old man is staring at the front-garde, the young people who have dyed all colors are not stopped. Young people fire "" Old things, what do you see? Didn't you have a crazy thing when TM is young? ! "The old man said:" I have done a parrot when I am young. I suspect that you are her son! "▲ There is a college brothel, auction all things, a guy bought a parrot home. Back home, the parrot starts to talk:" The environment has changed, the environment has changed "the mother's mother and then walk Go to the living room, the parrot said: "The boss changed, the boss changed. "After hearing the sister of the young man, I came to the living room, the parrot said:" Miss has changed, and Miss has changed. "The father of the young man also came to the living room, the parrot said:" The old hacker has not changed, the old man is different! " "... ▲ a beautiful girl raised a parrot, a day girl taking a shower in the bathroom, parrot said:" See it, see it. "The girl said to the parrot:" Call it to pull your hair. "The next day, a bald guest came to the home, and the parrot sneaked to the shoulders of the guest, quietly said:" Do you also see it? "▲
Someone bought a parrot, I wanted to learn civilized terms, so they said that every morning, I said: "Good morning." Said that this morning he is not very good. After it, didn't say anything, bird is cold At the cold, he said: "Hey, what is your today?" ▲ Da Li bought a parrot, just entered the door, I was so embarrassed to speak. "Your, speech?" Da Li stretched his neck. Parrot did not respond. "Your, the speech, the microphone is thin." Da Li clamned a bug. The parrot still has no response. "You, don't speak, die, dead!" Big Li stood up his face. Suddenly, the parrot neck is very high, shouting: "Tell the Japanese imperialism!" ▲ One night, Cindy went home, just like a kitchen as usual, prepare for dinner. But she found that the kitchen sink drainage is like blocking, so she called the water and electrical William, I hope he can help repair. William agreed, he said he would take a look at the Cindy home tomorrow afternoon. Since Cindy's last time, Cindy told him: "I will put the key under the stepping pad of the door, you come in. I have a Qiudian dog, it is very embarrassing, you don't have to worry. In addition, I also raised a parrot. It is a troublesome guy. When you come in, no matter what it told you. Remember! Never talk to the parrot. "William listened to the confusion, but said it. The next afternoon, William arrived at Cindy home on time, entered the door to start repair the kitchen sink. The dog is very embarrassed, and there is no fierce. Parrots are constantly sowing to his words. Just starting William to remember Cindy, but did not care, but the parrot was still called. After a while, William couldn't stand it. He gave a spray against the parrot: "SHUTUP! You are a big stupid!" The parrot stunned, William thought that he had some effects. Then, only heard the paroxel of Cindy said: "Doggy! Go to bite him!" Then only heard a burst of screams from the kitchen ================= ============================================================================================================================================================================================================= ==============
2004 11-24 Reprinted from Xinhuanet
============================================================================================================================================================================================================= =====================================1, a lady called an architect, When the train passes, her bed will shake. "This is not a nonsense!" The architect replied, "Let's take a look." After the architect arrived, the lady suggested that he was lying in bed, and realized that the train passed when the train passed. The architect just lie down, and the husband of the lady came back. He saw this situation, so he will drink: "What do you lying on my wife's bed?" The architect war replied: "I said that I am waiting for the train, will you believe?" [悟] Some words are true, but Listening to fake; some words are fake, but no doubt. 2, induce the British gentleman and the French woman take a box, the woman wants to lure this British, she will complain to the cold after she picking down. Mr. gave her his quilt, she still said cold. "How can I help you?" Mr. asked frustrated. "I am a child, my mother always gives me a warm." "Miss, this, I love it. I can't jump off the train to find your mother?" [【顿] The man is a good man, " A man who is unresolved is a good man. 3, the spun Mike walks into the restaurant, pointing a soup, and the waiter immediately gave him the end. When the waiter just came, Mike screamed: "Sorry, this soup can not drink." The waiter re-gave him a soup, he said: "Sorry, this soup can not drink." The waiter had to call the manager. " . The manager nodded toward Mike, said: "Sir, this dish is the most hand of this store, is very popular, is you welcome, do you ..." I said, where is it? "[Ephanu] Wrong Of course it is a good thing. But we often change it correctly, leave mistakes, the result is wrong to add bad. 4, in the wrong dining room, an unusual person touches another customer, and that person is wearing a coat. "Sorry, are you Mr. Pierre?" "No, I am not." The man answered. "Ah," He comfortably, "I didn't make a mistake, I am him, you wear his coat." [Epulsion] It is not easy to do. The straight-up person often lowers; the people who are rational, but it is as strong as cattle.
5, back
A Scotsman went to London and wanted to visit an old friend by the way, but I forgot his address, so I sent a diploma to my family: "Do you know the address of Toma? Speed!"
On the same day, he received an acjected power back: "Know." [Epiphany] When we finally found the most correct answer, it was found that it was most useless.
6, sad story
There are three people to New York holiday. They booked a suite at 45th floor of a high-level hotel.
One night, the elevator of the building has failed, and the waiter arranges them in the hall overnight.
After they discussed, they decided to go back to the room and agreed to laugh, sing and tell stories to alleviate the fatigue of the landing.
The joke said, the song also sang, it is hard to climb to the 34th floor, everyone feels exhausted.
"Well, Peter, you will talk about a humorous story."
Peter said: "The story is not long, but it is sad: I forgot the key of the room in the hall."
[Epiphany] We are painful, so humorous; we humor, so happiness.
7, sell books
A very famous writer will come to the bookstore. The bookstore owner is favored, and all the books will be transferred to the writer. After the writer came to the bookstore, I was very happy, asked: "Do you only sell my book only?"
"Of course not." The bookstore owner replied, "Other book sales roads are very good, they are sold."
[Epiphany] "Shooting the Garfarf" is a strange word: You are in the flattening of him, and it is insulting him.
8, help
In the hall hall, an old lady walked to a middle-aged person to say before, politely said: "Sir, please help me write the address on the postcard?"
"Of course, you can." Middle-aged people did it according to the requirements of the elderly.
"Thank you!" The old lady said: "Help me write a little dialect, ok?"
"Okay." Middle-aged people wrote the old lady, smiled and asked: "Is there anything to help?"
"Well, there is a little thing." The old lady looked at the postcard and said, "Help me add one sentence: the writing is scribbled, please forgive me."
[Epiphany] If you are not willing to help, people will hate you a week; if it is not perfect enough, it is better to ... ======================= ============================================================================================================================================================================================================= ==========
