Active life
I have been appreciating such a saying: "Life is better than a football match, you don't have the possibility of goal, although it does not necessarily go to the ball."
I dare to grab the football field, "I will be feet when I have a foot", which is the essence of active life. Active people have a more tried, and try to try. It is not enough to make any premature and probabilistic conclusions before trying. Just like a football game, there is no reason. The popular sentence in the football field is called "football is round", and the need to illustrate the necessity of trying. In fact, life is not the case, " Destiny is also round. "
If you have an attempt, there will be a failure. The more you have to try, the more failed. Active life is often a thorns that succeeded and failed, wrong and failure is difficult to avoid. But this attempt is more beautiful and more valueful to fail to fail, so that is more valuable?
There is an article called "Errors makes me so beautiful", is a white-haired old professor from the heart. He said that if he let him live again, he must choose more to try, actively explore more life path. Instead of security, it is going to take a good way to your design. He also talked about his friend, from a child, a very unhealthy person, and never wanted to read after the high school. Later, I got the army, under the sea, passing the business, stir-fry stockings, and even a few years of taxi drivers, I can say that I dare to think, everything dares to do, after dozens of touching, It is now the president of a large enterprise group in a coastal city.
I think the feelings of this old man are the best praise and annotations of active life. Indeed, there are many roads in life, and fate is often more secret. Especially when you are young, you should try to try it, go find a path that best suits you, may showing a more vast world in front of you, where you find a new self, you The huge potential is better to get better, and your life changes from this.
Some people are afraid of failure, afraid of wrestling, and thus don't dare to try. In fact, any failure is often the beginning of the next success. The active life is in the "trial", "failure" and "success" three, and the final brilliant is made up of numerous trials and failure. Gorgeous garland. As Marx said: "On the road to success, there is no peace."
When we are young, we have to try, do not try to win before trying, and do not have to worry about the results. Some people want to postgraduate, but when they look at the competition, "hit rate" is so low, they have no courage to open the postgraduate materials. Others envy that others' works have repeatedly become lead words, but they don't ask people to pay more for this. You don't write, don't go to invest, is there a published article?
Trying to choose, more courage, although the result of the trial is always unpredictable, but active life must be brilliant. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Stephen R. Covey
BY AMT Kong Xiangyun
The Seven Habits, Overview
. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People provide a holistic, integrated approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness Habits are patterns of behavior that involve three overlapping components: knowledge, attitude, and skill These three components are learned rather than inherited We are not our.. Current Habits. We can make or break our habits.seven Habits overview / seven habits Organizer
The Seven Habits are habits of effectiveness. Because they are based on principles, they bring the maximum long-term beneficial results possible. They become the basis of a person's character, creating an empowering center of correct maps from which an individual can effectively solve problems .
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Page 52
The Seven Habits Are An ORDERLY Sequence of Growth, Moving from Private To Public Victory.
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· In Habit 1: Be Proactive, We Recognize That We Are Free To Choose.
· In Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind, We Identify Our Personal Mission and Goals.
· In Habit 3: Put First Things First, Weist on Our Priorities.
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· In Habit 4: Think Win-Win, WE Look for Alternative That Allow Everyone to Win.
· Habit 5: Seek first to understand, the to be understand is Both An Attitude and a Skill of Listening Deeply for Complete Undening.
· In Habit 6: Synergize, we discover a creativity that people can experience when they explore their differences together.Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw is the habit that calls the others forth It is comprised of simple daily activities that implant the principles of effectiveness. IN Our MINDS.
The habits form a continuum because the Private Victory must come before the Public Victory. Until we have developed self-mastery, it is difficult, if not impossible, to achieve success with other people. Taken together, the Seven Habits cultivate personal character, which IS the Foundation of Effectiveness.
Active life from 7 habits (1)
Active life starts Stephen from 7 habits. R. Coewei (with) the first habit is "positive". Motivated. The word "active" is very common in the management literature, but it can't find it in the dictionary. It means not only to active, but also refers to as a person, you must be responsible for your life.
Watching "Respon-Sibility), its literal meaning is" Reaction Selection Capability "is an optional capability. The reason why I said that it is active, that is because they are willing to take responsibility, their behavior follows their own decisions, establishing a product of values, rather than objective environment and emotion. For example, you plan to go to a picnic with your family, you are very excited, making full preparation. You decided to have a lot of place, but then have a rainy rain ... Your planned soup. Active people will not be around the weather - they understand what the real purpose is, they will create a picnic in other locations, even if they let everyone play some interesting games in their own basement, they will make full use of good time Environmental conditions. It is negative to active up. Negative people will say: "Oh, what is used, we can't do anything," Oh, this is too sad, all of our preparation, all the arrangements have souls. "These negative emotions will penetrate these people And his family's thoughts. This is the negative consequences.
Active is indeed a reflection of human nature. Your nature is action, not affected. This is true, not to interpret the character with the decisions as you accept. The decision believes that you didn't make any choices, our so-called choices, in fact, only external conditions or stimulus instinctures.
Negative people said that people from environmental, conditions, and innate factors - "I can't, I am like this", "... can't, I don't have time", "I can't do it, I have no way." ,"I have to". This language reflects an irresponsible attitude - I don't be responsible for this, I can't choose my own reaction, the key is that I am not responsible. It is not an easy thing to say "I don't do", "I am not responsible". The problem is that this is a spontaneous prophecy. I believe that people who determine the discussions will find evidence to support such beliefs, they gradually believe that they are harmful and are out of control. They can't grasp their lives and fate.
If you have a positive spirit, you will not deny the influence of genetic, growth process, and living environment. But at the same time, you just use them as an impact. A positive person will voluntarily, freely, to achieve self-value by doing optimal choices. This way you can pass over the environment, rather than being restricted by the environment. THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE (a) BY STEPHEN R .COVEEY The first habit is 1) proactivity. Be proactive. The word proactivity is fairly common in management literature, but you will not find it in the dictionary. It means more than merely taking 2) initiatives, it means that as a human being you take responsibility for your own life.Look at the word responsibility, ability to choose your response, response-ability. I suggest effective people are proactive, thatis they take responsibility, their behavior is a product of their own decisions, based on values, rather than being a product of their conditions, based on feelings. For instance, you are planning a picnic with your family. you're excited. you have all the preparations. You've decided where to go, and then it becomes stormy ... killing your plan. Proactive people carry weather within them. They realize what their purpose really was, and they creatively have a picnic elsewhere even if it's in their own basement with Some SP ecial games, and make the best of that situation. The opposite of being proactive is to be reactive. Reactive people would say, "What's the use, we can not do anything," "Oh this is so upsetting after all of our preparations WE'VE MADE SESE ARRANGEMENTS. "AND The whole spirit of 3) Negativism Will Tend to Pervade Those People. That's Being Reactive.
Being proactive is really just being true to your human nature. Your basic nature is to act, and not be acted upon. That's true, despite widely accepted theories of 4) determinism used to explain human nature. Determinism says, that you do not really choose anything, that whatyou call choices, are nothing more than automatic responses to outside conditions or stimuli.The language of reactive people, are people who are determined by their environment, or by their conditions, or by their conditioning or their genetic makeup. "This I can't, That's my nature." ... can't, don't have time. "" I have to, i Have to. "" Item. "See the whole spirit is of this language Is The Transfer of Responsibility, I am NOTRESE, ABLE TO Choose My Response, The Spirit IS, I am NOT RESIBLE, PSYCHOLOGICLY ISN'T That Easier To Say Than I'm A Flake, "And" I'm IrRRRESPONSIBLE. "THE PROBLEM IS, THIS A Self-fulfilling 5) Prophecy. People Who Believe The Yi Determined Will Produce The Evidence To Support t the belief, and they increasingly feel victimized and out of control. They're not in charge of their life or their destiny at all.When you are proactive, you do not deny that genetics, upbringing and environment make a difference. But you see them as influences only. A proactive person exercises free will, the freedom to choose the response that best applies to your values. In that way you gain control of your circumstances, rather than being controlled by them.
Active life begins with 7 habits (2) Stephen.r. Coewei () habits 2: At the end of the thought. According to the meaning of the literal, the mind is in the beginning of today, thinking about your life at the end of life, using this as a reference frame, as a basis for you to detect other things.
I hope that you can think about this, and then imagine yourself to participate in a funeral to your friends. Your mind has emerged in this picture: I saw myself to go to the funeral, arrived, the funeral was held in the church, you are sitting in the back. You gradually think of your funeral, three years later, people lying in the coffin will be you. The spokesperson has four, and the participants gathered. People feel love to your life with your life. The four spokespersons are: one from your home - except your family, aunt, uncle, post, grandfather, grandmother comes from all over the country; one is your friend, commented from a friend Your people; a field from you work, career or social activities; there is a church or a group organization that you have participated and made of service. Now think about it, how will people ran out from a family, a friend, a colleague, or a public servant role? What do you want people to comment on your character, contribution, and achievements? Those carefully think about these characters, give yourself a word. In terms of thinking, this habit is to make you clear, it is based on the principle of "all things through two degrees".
Creating is always completed twice. There is actually created after ideas creation. Take you now in the building, it will be set to each of its details before moving the soil. I'm going to tell it. If it is wrong, you have to change the structure to pay an expensive price, and the cost may grow significantly, even double. The carpenter has a rule of thousands of true: the measurement is only two times.
So what is habit? It is to start with the end. Decide your self-worth system. Write down your own philosophy, self-plan, self-creed, self-belief system, through the use of imagination and emotions, keep these in your mind, your heart. Don't rest your own in previous history, let yourself attach to the potential. If you can learn to be vivid, develop a good inherent consciousness, you can find the most basic principles for your life. You can extract your principles from action plans, or value systems, or target programs - how to call it. This is the essence of habits. THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE (two) BY STEPHEN R .COVEEY Habit number two: Begin with the end in mind That 1) literallymeans to begin today with an image or picture of the end of your life as your frame of reference,. As the 2) criteria by Which you Examine Everything else in your life.
I want you to think on this for a moment and get yourself into the frame of mind of attending a funeral of a dear one. In your mind's eye see yourself driving to that funeral, arriving, it's being held at a church, getting yourself situated in the back seat. And you come to a growing awareness that it is your funeral, that it is you in that 3) casket, three years from now. there are four speakers. The place ispacked. And there's a great feeling of love, . appreciation, and 4) resonating value of this person, your life The four speakers are these: one from your family - not just your 5) nuclear family, but aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents have come from all around the country to attend; one from your friends that give a sense of what you were as a person, as a friend; one from your work, your profession, or outside activity; and one from your church or some community organization where you've been involved in Giving Service. Now Think, What Would You like to Have Said, Three Years from now, about you as a member of an 6) in-tergenerational 7) extended family, as a friend, as a working 8) associate, or a public servant? What would you like to have said about your character, about your contributions, and about your achievements? Think carefully on those roles, and write the 9) eulogies.This habit, to begin with the end in mind, means to start with a clear understanding of your destination and it's based on the principle that all things are created TWICE.
There are always two creations. Thephysical creation follows the mental creation. Take the building or the house that you're in now. It was created in every detail before the earth was touched. Right or wrong. If wrong, you've got some pretty expensive change orders in that structure that might have significantly increased the cost of it, even doubled the cost of it The carpenter's rule holds true:. measure twice, cut once.So what's habit two Simply begin with the end in mind Decide?. what your own value system is. Write your own philosophy, your own mission statement, your own 10) creed, your belief system and get it written into your mind and into your heart, through the use of imagination and your emotion. Do not tie yourself to your history. Tie yourself to your potential. and if you learn to imagine vividly enough and to also 11) draw heavily upon the inner sense or conscious of what is right or wrong, you will come to detect the most fundamental principles that Pertain to your life. And you can 12) Distill The in the form of a mission statement or a value system or a purpose statement; what is the essence of habit two. Active life begins with 7 habits (3) Steven. r. Kewa (with) the third habit, management habits, and a lightweight of distinguishing things. This habit can solve many time schedules. In fact, the challenge is not the time schedule, but self-arrangement, according to the relationship between time, things and work tasks, effective arrangements.
Now draw a square on the paper. Painting a cross in a cross into four small squares. This is a time scheduled matrix. Four small squares are called quadrants. Mark every quadrant, write "urgent importance" in the first quadrant, write "important but not urgent" in the second quadrant, write "urgent but not important" in the third quadrant , In the fourth quadrant write "not an urgent matter".
In the business, Dr. Coewe found that the quadrant two is the key to management.
The famous philosopher Prado in the Italian efficiency field proposes "80-20" rules. That is, 80% of the result is from 20% of activities. These are all active activities. All is all. If I ignore the quadrant two, what will the quadrant for a while? What happens if you don't take precaution? It will expand infinitely until other quadrants have disappeared. It may take out your life. This is called "Management Crisis", the management crisis will make you fearless, exhausted, and there is no matter. The problem became very, very serious. If you pay attention to the quadrant, what will be limited? It will become smaller and smaller. There are some things that you will still get in the quadrant one. Some things that you have not expected. Changing the environment will produce some things. But this is easy to manage, it is also possible. You often have a feeling of nothing to prepare and seize new opportunities.
So where is the time and energy of the elephant limit? Get from quadrant three and quadrants. The quadrant four is unused. Can you think of a thing without any meaning, can you get a quadrant? Leisure. Is it important to be casual? of course. Of course it should be classified. Nothing is meaningless, it can be classified. The quadrant is basically no significance, unless it is for others.
In this way, you have won time from quadrant three and quadrant four. As long as you stick to this, just steal a little time from the quadrant three and quadrants. Learn to say no, happily, smile, happily, but to say no. Because the object limit three and quadrants don't mean that the object is limited to two, when your object is limited, you will become very small. It is important to do things, rather than implying. Gita wrote: "Important things will never have a bit of incompetence."
But the problem is that the work of quadrant needs to be a certain capacity. What is the basic ability? We have already talked this. what is it then? It is a positive attitude. why? Because the quadrant affects you and dominates you. The quadrant is subject to you. The nature of people is dominated rather than being dominated. This is the quadrant two. All intimate relationships, planning and organization, individual preparation, exercise, extensive reading, reading, continuing to study, can be classified into quadrants.
The quadrant is the key. The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People (3)
Habit three, the management habit, is put first things first. This habit deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. The real challenge is not actually to manage time but to manage yourself, to gain control of time and events In Your life by seeing how the relate to your mission.
Take a moment now to draw a square on a piece of paper. Then, make a cross within the square dividing it into four smaller squares. What you've just drawn is a time management 1) matrix. And the four squares are called 2 ) quadrants label the four quadrants this way:. label quadrant 1 "Urgent and Important", quadrant 2 "Not Urgent and Important", quadrant 3 "Urgent and Not Important", and quadrant 4 "Not Urgent and Not Important".
And in business, Dr. Covey has found that quadrant two is the key to management.Prado, the great Italian philosopher in the field of efficiency, came up with what's called the "eighty-twenty" rule. Eighty percent of the results flow from TWENTY PERCENT OF The Activities. Those Are All Quadrant Two Activities. All of them.
What do you think happens to quadrant one if you neglect quadrant two? If you neglect prevention, what's going to happen to problems? It's going to grow and grow until there's almost no other quadrants. It may consume your life. That's called management by crisis And management by crisis just 3) beats you up, 4) BURNS you out. 5) Fatigues 6) YA. Gets Very, Very Large.
What's going to happen to quadrant one if you attend to quadrant two? Gets smaller and smaller. You'll still have some of it. Things you had not anticipated at all. Constant changes in our environment will create some of that. But it 'Ll Be Manageable. It'Ll BE 7) Workable. But You'll Always Have The Sense That You're Working On 8) Prevention and Sear New Opportunities.
Now when are you going to get the time and attention to get into quadrant two? That has to come from three and four. Quadrant four is totally worthless quadrant. Can you name one thing of any value or worth in quadrant four? Leisure. Is Leisure Important? Yes. There's Nothing of Worth or Value In Quadrant Four. Quadrant Three Also Is Essential Free Value Except on The Part of Other people.
So, basically, you get your time for quadrant two from three and four. You just keep doing it. You just keep stealing a little from quadrant three and quadrant four. Learn to say no, pleasantly, smilingly, happily, but say no. Because in saying no to quadrant three and four, you're saying yes to quadrant two, and when you say yes to quadrant two, you make quadrant one increasingly small. and you're working on things that will matter most, not on things that will matter least. "Things which matter most", Gerta wrote, "must never be at the mercy of things which matter least." However, the problem is it takes certain capacities to work on quadrant two. What's the fundamental capacity? We 've already talked about it. What is it? you have to proactive. Why? Quadrant one 9) works on you. Quadrant one 10) acts on you. Quadrant two must be acted upon. We are made in our essential humanity to act And NOT BE ACTED UPON. That's Quadrant Two. All Deep Relationship Building, Quadrant Two. Planning and Organizing, Quadrant Two. Personal Preparation, Quadrant Two. Reading - Broad, Deep Reading, ContiCation, Quadrant Two.
QUADRANT TWO is the key.
1) Matrix n. Matrix
2) quadrant n. Quadrant, quadrite gauge
3) Beat Up: disturb; (slang) pain
4) Burn Out: (furnace, etc.) stop burning due to lack of fuel
5) Fatigue vt. Make fatigue, making mental dissipation 6) YA: "You" is "you".
7) Workable a. Operating, available 8) prevention n. Prevention, prevention
9) Work ON: Try to sue, affect
10) ACT ON: To ... work; action according to ...
Active life begins with 7 habits (4) Steven.r. Coewei ()
Finally, the seventh habits: self-improvement. This is a self-care habit. Once you do correctly, this habit is doing it correctly, and there is regularity, and the other six habits will be automatically carried out. This is called "mill saw". The so-called grillat is saved and perfecting your most valuable assets - yourself. It is constantly conducting self-improvement every day: physical, mental, mentally, and social emotions. The mill is basically referring to these four aspects, then arranges life, so that you have time to be limited. Use at least one hour a day. I believe that in order to adhere to the remaining six habits, it is necessary to truly do six habits, more time to spend. What do you want to do? Physical movement, preferably stretchable, aerobic movement, and can practice a little muscles, and combine the three together. Aerobic exercise refers to the movement of helping cardiovascular and respiratory systems to enhance physical function. That is the key to maintaining energy, oxygen and interest. It is also very good to exercise muscles in natural movements such as soft styles, and natural movements such as soft exercise. If people use this habit every other 30 minutes, they can make the body better enhance their work. If they use half an hour to exercise, the body will work better, the heart muscles are also stronger, the more oxygen in the body, the more energetic, the more energetic. So I suggest you make up your mind, if you have no good exercise plan, you will make one. Do some stretching, then take a good walk, run, ride, swim. For example, a quick walk in about 20 minutes, and finally do stretch sports and soft gynery, you have completed a minimum of sports plans. So if you spend 3 hours on this one week, there is a total of 168 hours a week! Will it be the only proportion of exercise? I think it is best to make exercises every day or every day, at least half an hour every Threshing day or every other day. Referring to mental exercise to involve the second habit. In other words, the spiritual movement allows you to continue to establish a well values system that has been formed by this habit. What you did is in accordance with a way that is in mind, it is not the same. Some people read famous and even theological works, and some people think about, pray, and think about things. This kind of mental activity of the spirit provides leadership for the second habit. Then use the brain to plan, action, and maintain leadership into the third habit, so you can see and plan the role and goals of that week, warm interventions every day, to ensure your life and duties and general direction, always The goal is consistent. That is a habit of intelligence, intelligence creates second and third habits. Spiritual creation is the second habit, intelligence creation is part of the second habit, because you are still planning, thinking. But intelligence should be kept in the third habit and must have some difficulties, because maybe some dispersed, tempting things make you slowly compromise, go to things that are not so important or urgent. The tempering emotion includes fourth, five, six habits, so you said to yourself: "I want to win a good sense with a win-win situation, I want to seek to understand others first, then let yourself be understood by others. But Before I haven't understood others, I don't deliberately pursue that I will understand it by others. Then I want to discuss the problem with the person to see if I can collaborate more than one's best way to make each other. Coordination is more close to the heart. "The above is the four basic aspects in human character, but it is basically expressing and clarifies all other habits. If this habit is done, it is regular, its effect will As described above. The 7 Habits Of Highly Effec
(Have you read this book before? It's one of the best-sellers around the world several years ago. I just happened to find the following summary in English, so paste it here, hope you'll enjoy.) By Stephen R. Covey
The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People is a comprehensive program based on developing an awareness of how perceptions and assumptions hinder success --- in business as well as personal relationships. Here's an approach that will help broaden your way of thinking and lead to greater opportunities And Effective Problem Solving.
Habit 1: be pro-activetake the initiative and the responibility to make things happen.
Habit 2: Begin With an End In Mindstart with a Clear Destination To Understand WHERE you are now, where you're going and what you value mot.
Habit 3: Put First Things Firstmanage Yourself. Organize and Execute Around Priorities.
Habit 4: Think Win / Winsee Life As a Cooperative, Not a Complusion of The Success Others.
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Habit 6: SynergizeApply The Principles of Cooperative Creativity and Value Differences.
Habit 7: Renewal / Sharpen The SawpreServing and Enhancing Your Greatest ASSET, YOURSELF
Stephen R. Covey Is The Most Respected Motivator In The Business World Today. Learn To Use His 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - And See How The Can Change your life.
The Six Step Process (Overview): * Step 1: Connect to Mission * Step 2: Review Roles * Step 3: Identify Goals * Step 4: Organize Weekly * Step 5: Exercise Integrity * Step 6: Evaluate * Using the Seven Habits Tools "7 habits of high-efficiency people" The 7 Habits of Highly Effective people.pdf
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People "7 habits of high-performance people"
American company employee people's book! The book of the US government agency civil servant! The book of the US military officers and soldiers! Global sales over 100 million books! Steven Kevi's "seven habits of high-performance people" play an important role in the development of the company's operational system. Our commitment to our customers and the level of quality is essential from the "seven habits of high-performance people".
Seven habits of high performance people
Habits 1: Active Practical Mentality (Be Proactive)
Take a proactive attitude, responsible for yourself, now and future behavior, and make decisions based on principles and values, rather than emotional and external environments. Active person is a changing active, they have abandoned the role of passive victims, playing four talents - conscious, conscience, imagination, and autonomous will, create new heavens and earth from inside out. Active active people choose to create their own life, rather than choosing passive council, this is the most basic decision for everyone. Active active mentality allows you to get rid of the resentment from the students, in the face of reality, no longer blame and wait, starting to actively think and act from itself to create a new future.
Habits 2: Begin with the end in mind from setting goals
All things have been created twice: first in mind, followed by substantive creation. Personal, family, team, and organizations are pronounced, and they can create a vision and goals, and shaped the future, the whole body is in the principle, values and goals. For individuals, families or organizations, purposes and mission are the highest form of vision. It is the main decision, dominated all other decisions.
Habits 3: Put First Things First "PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
To be the first, it is your dream organization and practice is your goal, vision, values, and processed sequence. The second thing does not have to be placed first, and must not be placed in the second. Whether it is urgent, individuals and organizations come to things. The focus is: Be sure to put the thing about your goals in the first place to think and process.
Habits 4: Double Win Thinking is the foundation of collaboration (Think Win / Win)
Double-win thinking is a thinking framework and mind based on mutual tribute, demand reciprocity. The purpose is to get more rich opportunities, wealth and resources, not your hostile competition. Double-win is non-disposed of people's self (win-loss), and it is not a victim (losing - win). Our work partners and family members must think from the perspective of mutual dependence ("we" rather than "I"). Double-win thinking encourages us to solve the problem together, and assist individuals to find a mutually resolution, is information, strength, recognition, and payment. Habits five: Real communication comes from seek first to understand, then to be understandtood, when we abandon the teaching, change the understanding of the attitude to listen to others, you can turn on real communication and enhance each other relationship. After the other party gets the understanding, I feel respectful and recognized, and there is an open heart, calmly talk, and the two sides understand each other is more smooth and natural. Knowing oneself needs inexclip; knowing that you need your courage, you can balance the relationship between the two, then greatly enhance the efficiency of communication. Customary six: synergistic effect (Synergize)
Collaborative is a third choice: that is, it is not followed by your way, but the third way is far better than personal. It is the result of mutual respect: not only understand each other, but also mutually gaps and complement each other, and enjoy each other to solve problems and master opportunities. Personal power is the basis of team and family synergies, which makes it a better than two results. Practical collaborative interpersonal relationships and team building will abandon hostile attitude (1 1 = 1/2), not to compromise (1 1 = 1), not only in a simple combination (1 1 = 2) They want to create cooperation (1 1 = 3 or more).
Customary seven: Constantly updated (Shappen the Saw)
The continuous update is how to update yourself in four basic life (body, spirit, mind, social emotions). Body: Sample exercise and nutrition to keep health; spirit: 心 尘, 精 精 精;;;;;;;; Customary seven can improve the effectiveness of other six habits. For organizations, seven habits provide vision, update, and continuous improvement, so that the organization does not present aging and tiredness, and can move toward new growth. For families, seven habits have enabled family performance to upgrade their families through fixed personal and family activities.
The top three habits (habits, a habitual 3) is the habit of personal success, which can greatly improve your confidence. You will be able to recognize your essence, your heart is deep, and your personal unique talents and capabilities. Anyone who is borne to your beliefs can produce self-esteem, self-weight and self-cultivation. As for the three habits of pursuing public success (habits four to habits), it can help you rebuild past deterioration, and even interpersonal relationships. It is more consolidated. The habit of seven can strengthen the six habits of the previous, and always charge you, reach the true independence and success of each other.
Habit 1: Be proactive
The first and most basic habit of a highly effective person in any environment is the habit of proactivity. Being proactive means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.Look the word responsibility-response-ability-the ability to choose your responses. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or ......................... ..
The Opposite of Proactive Is Reactive, The Spirit of Reactive People. The Transfer of Responsibility. Their Language Absolves Them of Responsibility.
"That's Me. That's Just The Way I am." I am Determined. There's Nothing i can do about it.
"He Makes Me So Mad!" I'm NOT RESPONSIBLE. My Emotional Life Is Governed by Something Outside of My Control.
Many behavioral scientists have built reactive, deterministic, stimulus-response models of human behavior. The basic idea is that we are conditioned to respond in a particular way to a particular stimulus. In contrast, the proactive model states that between stimulus and response lies our Freedom to choise.
Proactive people focus their time and energy on their Circle of Influence (things they can control) in lieu of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control (Circle of Concern). In so doing, proactive people use positive energy To INFLUENCE CONDitions and incasese their circle of inflow.viktor Frankl
Viktor Frankl, A Jewish Prisoner Helld War II, Learned About The Reality of ProActivity As The "Last of the Human Freedoms."
"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked throughout the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but One Thing: The Last of The Human Freedoms-To Choose One's Attitude In Any Given Set of Circumstances, To Choose One's OWN WAY. "
Man's search for meaning, Viktor Frankl
Gandhi
Look at Gandhi. While his accusers were in the legislative chambers criticizing him because he would not join in their Circle of Concern rhetoric condemning the British Empire for their subjugation of the Indian people, Gandhi was out in the rice paddies, quietly, slowly, imperceptibly expanding his Circle of Influence with the field laborers. A ground swell of support, of trust, of confidence, followed him through the countryside. Though he held no office or political position, through compassion, courage, fasting, and moral persuasion he eventually BROUGHT England to ITS Knes, Breaking Political Domination of Three Hundred Million People with the power of his greatly expanded circle of inflow.
Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind
To begin with the end in mind means to begin each day with a clear understanding of your desired direction and destination. By keeping that end in mind you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day does not violate the criteria you have defined as supremely important, and that each day of your life contributes in a meaningful way to the vision you have of your life as a whole.It's incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the busy-ness of life, to work harder And Harden Atclimbing The Ladder of success oudly to discover, this ladder is leaning against the wrong wall. it is possible to be busy, us engsy, without being very effective.
People often find themselves achieving victories that are empty, successes that have come at the expense of things they suddenly realize were far more valuable to them. If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong Place FASTER.
Begin with the end in mind is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There's a mental or first creation and a physical or second creation. The second, or physical creation, follows from the first, just as a building follows from a .............................. ..
Habit 2 is based on imagination-the ability to envision, to see the potential, to create with our minds what we can not at present see with our eyes; and conscience-the ability to detect our own uniqueness and the personal, moral, and ethical Guidelines WIHICH WE CAN MOST HAPPILY FULFILL IT.
. Leadership is the first creation Management is the second creation Management is a bottom line focus:. How can I best accomplish certain things Leadership deals with the top line:? What are the things I want to accomplish In the words of both Peter Drucker? and Warren Bennis, "Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things." Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.The most effective way we know to begin with the end in mind is to develop a personal mission statement, philosophy or creed. It focuses on what you want to be (character) and to do (contributions and achievements) and on the values or principles upon which being and doing are based. Because Each Person IS Unique, a Personal Mission Statement Will Reflect That Uniqueness, Both in Content and Form.
A personal mission statement based upon principles becomes a standard for an individual. It becomes a personal constitution, the basis for making major, life-directing decisions, the basis for making daily decisions in the midst of change.
"Begin with the end in mind" is based on the principle. There's a mental or second code to all things.
Take construction of a home, for example. You create it in every detail before you ever hammer the first nail into place. You try to get a very clear sense of what kind of house you want. If you want a family-centered home, you plan a family room where it would be a natural gathering place. you plan sliding doors and a patio for children to play outside. you work with ideas. you work with your mind until you get a clear image of what you want to build. Then you reduce it to blueprint and develop construction plans. All of this is done before the earth is touched. If not, then in the second creation, the physical creation, you will have to make expensive changes that may double the cost of your home .
The carpenter's rule is "measure twice, cut once." You have to make sure that the blueprint, the first creation, is really what you want, that you've thought everything thorough. Then you put it into bricks and mortar. Each day You Go To The Construction Shed and Pull Out The BluePrint To Get Marching Orders for the Day. You Begin with the end in mind.
Habit 3: Put First Things First
What Are First Things? First Things are Things That You, Personally, Find Most Worth Doing. The Move You in The Right Direction and Help You Achieve The Purpose Expressed in Your Mission Statement.
Put First Things First involves organizing and managing time and events according to the personal priorities established in Habit 2 (Begin with the End in Mind). Habit 2 is the first or mental creation. Habit 3, then, is the second, or physical creation It's the day-in, day-out, moment by moment doing it.
EM Gray spent his life searching for the one denominator that all successful people share. The one factor that seemed to transcend all the rest embodies the essence of Habit 3-putting first things first. In his essay, The Common Denominator of Success, he writes : "The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures do not like to do They do not like doing them either necessarily But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose..." Basically, we spend our time in one of four ways, as illustrated in the time management matrix. This matrix defines activities as "urgent" or "not urgent" and "important" or "not important." With careful analysis, most people discover that they spend far too much time Responding to the Urgent Crisis of Quadrants I and III, Escaping Occasionally For Survival To the Non-Urgent, Unimportant Time Wasters of Quadrant IV.
Most of the activities essential to the development of the Seven Habits-creating a personal mission statement, identifying long range goals, nurturing relationships, and obtaining regular physical, spiritual, mental, and social-emotional renewal-are all Quadrant II activities. They are "important" -vitally important-but because they are not "urgent," they often do not get done. We must be proactive rather than reactive to do the important but not urgent things. Only by saying no to the unimportant can we Say Yes to The Important (Quadrant II).
Habit 3 Involves a Six Step Process That Can Help You Act On The Basis of Importance and Close The Gap Between What Matters Most To You and What You Actually spend your time doing.
"When I was director of university relations at a large university, I hired a very talented, proactive, creative writer. One day, after he had been on the job for a few months, I went into his office and asked him to work on some urgent matters that were pressing on me. "Then he took me over to his wallboard, where he had listed over two dozen projects he was working on, together with performance criteria and deadline dates that had been clearly negotiated before. He was highly disciplined Which is why i went to see him in the first place. 'if you want to get something done, Give It to a busy man.'
"THEN HE SAID, 'Stephen, to Do The Jobs That You Want Done Right Would Take Several Days. Which of these Projects Would y Like me to delay or cancel to satisfy your request?'
"Well, I did not want to take the responsibility for that. I did not want to create an obstacle for the most productive people on the staff just because I happened to be managing by crisis at the time. The jobs I wanted done WERE Urgent, But Not Important. SO I WENT AND Found Another Crisis Manager and Gave the Job To Him. "
Habit 4: Think Win-win
In relationships and businesses, effectiveness is largely achieved through the cooperative efforts of two or more people. Marriages and other partnerships are interdependent realities, and yet people often approach these relationships with an independent mentality, which is like trying to play golf with a tennis racket -The Tool isn't suited to the space.
Most of US Learn To Base Our Self-Worth On Competition. We Think About succeing in Terms of someone else failing. That IS, IF I WIN, You Lose. Or if you win, i lose. There is Only So Much Pie and if you get a big piece there is less for me. People with this type of Scarcity Mentality find it difficult to share recognition and power, and to be happy for the successes of others, especially those closest to them.Win-Win, on the other hand, is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person's success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others. Win-Win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena. Win- Win Is A Frame of Mind and Heart That Constantly Seeks Mutual Benefit in All Human Interacts. Win-Win Means That Agreements or Solutions Are Mutually Beneficial and Satisfying.
Character is The Foundation of Win-win, And Everything else Builds onhat Foundation. There all character Traits Essential to the win-win paradigm.
· Integrity-Integrity Is The Value We Place ON OURSELVES, Being True To Our Values and Commitments.
· ABundance mentality-people......................
· Maturity-a Mature Person CAN Express His Feelings and Convictions with courage for the feelings and convevictions of others.
Win-Win Agreements are effective tools for establishing the Win-Win foundations necessary for long term effectiveness and may be created between employers and employees, between teams, between companies and suppliers, between any two or more people who need to interact to accomplish. In The Win-Win Agreement, The Following Five Elements Are Made Explicit.
Designed Results (Not Methods) Identify What Is To Be Done and when. · Guidelines Specify The Parameters (Principles, Policies, etc.) Within Which Results Are To BE ACCOMPLISHED
.................
· Accountability Sets up The Standards of Performance and The Time of Evaluation
Consequences Specify-Good and Bad, Natural and Logical-What Does and What Will Happen As A Result of AchieVing or Not Achieving Desired Results
A 19-year-old woman was watching television one night when a local newscaster announced a celebration to be held in Reno's San Raphael Park. It was to be a homecoming celebration for all the soldiers returning from Desert Storm. About 40,000 people were anticipated.
The announcement sent a shock running through Melissa; her wedding was scheduled for the same day and at the same park as the celebration She'd scheduled it six months in advance, and the more she thought about the situation, the more her shock turned. TO FRUSTRATION.
After A Restless Night, She Got Up in The Morning and Called The Individual With Whom She Had Made The Park Reservation, And asked, "How Could you do this?"
THE PERSON RESIBLE for SCHEDULING SAID, "Well, They Haven't real okayed it with us- the public awreness is self" we're under charge to do it. "
Melissa ended the conversation feeling more frustrated than ever. She began thinking about the principle of win-win, which she had learned about in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People class, and she decided this situation would provide a good opportunity for win-win .
She then decided to call a member of the Desert Storm homecoming committee. The committee member explained that neither she nor the rest of the committee was adamant about holding the event at San Raphael Park, but after a brainstorming session, someone had leaked the idea for that location to the press-and now that the announcement had hit the public, the committee member said she did not have a response for Melissa.Melissa began to picture her wedding with the pastor speaking through a bullhorn in order to compete with the noise of 40,000 people, jets flying overhead, troops in formation, etc. And she just knew it would not work. So, she began thinking of other places the committee could hold the event. She remembered the Fourth of July event held annually at Mackey Stadium, And She Wondred, "Why Couldn't the Two BE Combined?"
That's when Melissa, a college student with no substantial "connections" with community decision makers, called the head of the Fourth of July committee with an interest in mind and desire to find a solution for both parties.
She called and asked, "What would you think about combining this homecoming ceremony for the troops with your Skyfire celebration?" To her amazement (and relief) the committee agreed to the idea, and when Melissa went back to the homecoming committee with the new .
Seven Habits Participant Manual
Habit 5: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood
Communication is the most important skill in life We spend most of our waking hours communicating But consider this:.. You've spent years learning how to read and write Years learning how to speak But what about listening What training or education have..? you had that enables you to listen so that you really, deeply understand another human being from that individuals' own frame of reference? Seeking first to understand, or diagnosing before you prescribe, is a correct principle manifest in many areas of life. A wise doctor will diagnose before writing a prescription. A good engineer will understand the forces, the stresses at work, before designing the bridge. An effective salesperson first seeks to understand the needs of the customer before offering a product. Similarly, an effective communicator will first Seek to understand another's views before seeking to be our usdosed.............
We typically seek first to be understood Most people do not listen with the intent to understand;. They listen with the intent to reply They're either speaking or preparing to speak They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography.. INTO OTHER People's Lives.
"OH, I know exactly how you feel."
"I Went THROUGH The Very Same Thing. Let me Tell You About my experience."
They're Constantly Projecting Their OWN Home Movies Onto Other's Behavior.
In contrast, empathic (from empathy) listening gets inside another person's frame of reference. You look out through it, you see the world the way they see it, you understand how they feel. This does not mean that you agree necessarily, simply that you understand their point of view.Empathic listening is, in and of itself, a tremendous deposit in the Emotional Bank Account of another. Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival, to be affirmed, to be appreciated , To be understand .hen you listen with empathy to another person, you give what Person Psychology Air Air.
Empathic listening is also risky. It takes a great deal of security to go into a deep listening experience because you open yourself up to be influenced. You become vulnerable. It's a paradox, in a sense, because in order to have influence, you have TO BE INFLUENCED. You have to really understand.
Once we understand, we can proceed with the second step of the interaction: seeking to be understood Because the other person's need to be understood has been satisfied, we are much more likely to have influence and to be understood ourselves..
A Father Once Told Me, "i can't "tand my kid. He Just Won't listen to me at all."
"Let Me Restate What You Just Said," i replied. "You don't understand your Son Because He Won't listen to you?"
"That's Right," He Replied.
"Let Me Try Again," I Said. "You don't understand your son because he Won't listen to you?"
"That's What I Said," He Impatiently Replied.
"I though That To Understand Another Person, You Needed to Listen to Him," i suggested.
"Oh!" He Said. There Was a long pause. "Oh!" He Said Again, As The Light Began to Dawn. "OH, Yeah! But I do understand him. I know what he's going through. I Went Through the Same Thing myself. I Guess What I don't listen to me. "this man didn't Have the Vaguest Idea of what was really going on inside his boy's head. He LOOKED INTO HIS OWN HEAD AND THOUGHT He Saw The World, Including His Boy.
Habit 6: Synergize
Synergy is everywhere in nature. The intermingled roots of two plants growing closely together improve the quality of the soil. Two pieces of wood bonded together hold much more than the total of the weight held by each separately. The whole is greater than the sum of ITS Parts. One Plus One Equals Three or More.
The principle of synergy also holds true in social interactions. Two people, creatively cooperating, will be able to produce far better results than either one could alone. Synergy lets us discover jointly things that we are much less likely to discover by ourselves. It occurs when minds stimulate each other and ideas call forth ideas I say something that stimulates your mind;. you respond with an idea that stimulates mine I share that new idea with you, and the process repeats itself and even builds..
Synergy works. It is the crowning achievement of all the previous habits. It is effectiveness in an interdependent reality-it is teamwork, team building, the development of unity and creativity with other human beings.
Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy-the mental, the emotional, the physiological differences between people. And the key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are. When we value differences and bring different perspectives together in the spirit of mutual respect, people then feel free to seek the best possible alternative, often the Third Alternative, one that is substantially better than either of the original proposals. Finding a third alternative is not compromise, but represents a win-win solution for both parties.The person who is truly effective has the humility and reverence to recognize his own perceptual limitations and to appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other human beings. That person values The Differences Because Those Differences Add to His Knowledge, To His Und To Our Own Experiences, We Constantly SUFF Er from a shortage of data.
Insecure people, in contrast, tend to make others in their own image and surround themselves with people who think similarly. They mistake uniformity for unity, sameness with oneness. Real oneness means complementariness. The chance for synergy is greater when two people tend not to Same. Differences, ThereFore, Become An Opportunity. If Two People Have The Same Opinion, One IS Unnecessary.
Stephen R. Covey:
I'll never forget a university class I taught in leadership philosophy and style. We were about three weeks into a semester when, in the middle of a presentation, one person started to relate some very powerful personal experiences which were both emotional and insightful. A spirit of humility and reverence fell upon the class-reverence toward this individual and appreciation for his courage.This spirit became fertile soil for a synergistic and creative endeavor. Others began to pick up on it, sharing some of their experiences and insights and even some of their self-doubts. The spirit of trust and safety prompted many to become extremely open. Rather than present what they prepared, they fed on each other's insights and ideas and started to create a whole new scenario as to what that class could mean .
I was deeply involved in the process. In fact, I was almost mesmerized by it because it seemed so magical and creative. And I found myself gradually loosening up my commitment to the structure of the class and sensing entirely new possibilities. It was not Just A Flight of Fancy; There Was a Sense of Maturity and Stability and Substance Which Transcended by Far The Old Structure and Plan.
We abandoned the old syllabus, the purchased textbooks, and all the presentation plans, and we set up new purposes and projects and assignments. We became so excited about what was happening that in about three more weeks, we all sensed an overwhelming desire to share What was happening with others.
We decided to write a book containing our learnings and insights on the subject of our study-principles of leadership. Assignments were changed, new projects undertaken, new teams formed. People worked much harder than they ever would have in the original class structure, and for an entirely different set of reasons.Out of this experience emerged an extremely unique, cohesive, and synergistic culture that did not end with the semester. for years, alumni meetings were held among members of that class. Even today, many years later, WHEN We See Each Other, We Talk about it and offten attempt to describe what happened and why.
One of the interesting things to me was how little time had transpired before there was sufficient trust to create such synergy. I think it was largely because the people were relatively mature. They were in the final semester of their senior year, and I think they Wanted More Than Just Another Good Classroom Experience. They were Hungry for Something New and Exciting, Something That The Could Create That Was Truly Meaningful. It wans "An IDEA whose Time Had Come" for them.
In Addition, THE CHEMISTRY WAS Right. I Felt That Experience Was Right.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Pages 265-267
Envision the Following Scenario:
It's vacation time, and a husband wants to take his family out to the lake country to enjoy camping and fishing This is important to him;. He's been planning it all year He's made reservations at a cottage on the lake and arranged to rent a. Boat, And His Sons Are Really Excited About Going.
His wife, however, wants to use the vacation time to visit her ailing mother some 250 miles away. She does not have the opportunity to see her very often, and this is important to her.Their differences could be the cause of a major NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE.
"The Plans Are Set. The Boys Are Excited. We Should Go On The Fishing Trip," He Says.
"But We don't know how much," SHE REPLIES. "This is our mobile". "
"All year long we've looked forward to this one-week vacation. The boys would be miserable sitting around grandmother's house for a week. They'd drive everybody crazy. Besides, your mother's not that sick. And she has your sister less Than a Mile Away to Take Care of Her. "
"She's my mother, TOO. I want to be with her."
"You Could Phone Her Every Night. And We're Planning To Spend Time with Her At The Christmas Family Reunion. Remember?"
"That's Not for Five More Months. We don't even know if she'll still be here by theen. Besides, She Needs me, and sheows me."
"She 's being well taken Care of. Besides, The Boys and I NEED you, TOO."
"My Mother is more important touring."
"Your Husband and sons are more important tour mother."
As they disagree, back and forth, they finally may come up with some kind of compromise. They may decide to split up-he takes the boys fishing at the lake while she visits her mother. And they both feel guilty and unhappy. The boys SENSE IT, AND IT Affects Their Enjoyment of The Vacation.
The husband may give in to his wife, but he does it grudgingly. And consciously or unconsciously, he produces evidence to fulfill his prophecy of how miserable the week will be for everyone.The wife may give in to her husband, but she's withdrawn and .
Whatever compromise they finally agree on, it could be rehearsed over the years as evidence of insensitivity, neglect, or a bad priority decision on either part. It could be a source of contention for years and could even polarize the family. Many marriages that once Were Beautiful and Soft and SPONTANEOS AND LOVING HAVETERIORATED TO The Level of A Hostility THROUGH a Series of Incidents Just Like this.
The husband and wife see the situation differently. And that difference can polarize them, separate them, create wedges in the relationship. Or it can bring them closer together on a higher level. If they have cultivated the habits of effective interdependence, they approach their Differences from an entirely diffreent paradigm. Their Communication is on a higher level.
In Searching for the "Middle" or Higher Way, this Husband and Wife Realize That Their Love, Their Relationship, IS Part of Their Synergy.
As they communicate, the husband really, deeply feels his wife's desire, her need to be with her mother. He understands how she wants to relieve her sister, who has had the primary responsibility for their mother's care. He understands that they really don ' t know how long she will be with them, and that she certainly is more important than fishing.And the wife deeply understands her husband's desire to have the family together and to provide a great experience for the boys. She realizes the investment that has been Made in Lessons and Equipment to Prepare for this Fishing Vacation, and She Feels The Importance of Creating Good Memories with Them.
So they pool those desires. And they're not on opposite sides of the problem. They're together on one side, looking at the problem, understanding the needs, and working to create a Third Alternative that will meet them.
"Maybe we could arrange another time within the month for you to visit with your mother," he suggests. "I could take over the home responsibilities for the weekend and arrange for some help at the first of the week so that you could go. I know it's important to you to have what time.
"Or maybe we could locate a place to camp and fish that would be close to your mother. The area would not be as nice, but we could still be outdoors and meet other needs as well. And the boys would not be climbing The Walls. We Could Even Plan Some Recreational Activities with The Cousins, Aunts, And Uncles, Which Would Be An Added Benefit.
They synergize. They communicate back and forth until they come up with a solution they both feel good about. It's better than the solutions either of them originally proposed. It's better than compromise. It's a synergistic solution that builds P and PC.Instead of a THEY GET What THEY Both Really Want and Build Their Relationship in The Process.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Pages 271-274
Stephen R. Covey:
One day I was presenting a seminar which I titled, "Manage from the Left, Lead from the Right" to a company in Orlando, Florida. During the break, the president of the company came up to me and said, "Stephen, this is intriguing. But I have been thinking about this material more in terms of its application to my marriage than to my business. My wife and I have a real communication problem. I wonder if you would have lunch with the two of us and just kind Of Watch How We Talk to Each Other. "
"Let's do it," i replied.
As we sat down together, we exchanged a few pleasantries. Then this man turned to his wife and said, "Now, honey, I've invited Stephen to have lunch with us to see if he could help us in our communication with each other .......................... ..
"Well, as I've told you before, it's nothing specific. It's more of a general sense I have about priorities." Her dominant right brain was dealing with sensing and with the gestalt, the whole, the relationship between the parts.
"What do you mean, 'a mener felease About priorities'? What is it you want me to do? Give Me Something Specific i Can Get a Handle on." Well, It's Just A Feeling. "Her Right Brain WAS DEALING IN IMages, Intuitive Feelings. "I Just Don n't this is as as it.". "
"Well, What can I do to make it it is." Give Me Something Concrete and Specific TO Go ON. "
"It's hard to put into insto words."
At that point
"It's Just A Feeling," She SAID, "a Very Strong Feeling."
"Honey," He Said to Her, "That's your problem. And That's The Problem with your mother. In Fact, It's The Problem with Every Woman i know."
Then He Began to Interrogate Her as wegh it.............
"Do You Live Where You Want to Live?"
"That's Not IT," She SIGHED. "That's Not it at all."
"I know," He Replied with a forced patience. "But Since You Way n't Tell Me Exactly What It is, i Figure IT Way To Find Out What IT WHAT IS, IS To Find Out What IS NOT. Do You Live Where you want to live? "
I Guess. "
"Honey, Stephen's Here for Just A Few Minutes to try to help us. Just Give me a quick 'yes' or 'no' answer. Do you live where you want to live?"
YES. "
"Okay. That's settled. Do you have the thing ?! Want to have?"
YES. "
"All Right. Do you do you do you? Want to do?"
THIS WENT ON for a little while, and i could See I Wasn't Helping At All. SO I Intervened and Said, "Is this Kind of How IT Goes in Your Relationship?" "Every Day, Stephen," He Replied.
"It's the story of our marriage," she sighed.
I LOOKED AT THE THEM AND THEY THUGHT CROSSED My MIND That The WERE TW HALF-BRAINED PEOPE LIVING TOGETHER. "I askED.
"Yes, TWO."
"Really?" I asked incredulously. "How Did you do it?"
"What do you mean how Did We do it?"
"You were synergistic!" I SAID. "One Plus One Usually Equals Two. But You Made One Plus One Equal Four. Now That's Synergy. The whole is gets. So How Did you do ing?"
"You Know How We Did IT," He Replied.
"You Must Have Valued The Differences!" I Exclaimed.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Pages 275-277
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Note: Sharpen the Saw Is Habit 7 of The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People. It is Also The First Role on The Roles Bar in The Seven Habits Tools.
Habit 7 is the habit that makes all the others possible Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have-you It means having a balanced, systematic program for self-renewal in the four areas of our lives:.. Physical, mental Emotional-Social, And Spiritual. Without this Discipline, The Body Becomes Weak, The Mind Mechanical, The Emotions Raw, The Spirit Insensitive, and The Person Selfish.
The Physical Self Is The Body. We Build Its Strength Through Nutrition, Exercise, And REST.
WE EXERCISE OUR Mental Self Through Learning-Through Reading, Writing, Challenging, and Taking Time To Think.
We Exercise Our Spiritual Self Through Reading Litrate That Inspires US, Through Meditation or Prayer, And THROUGH Spending Time with nature.
WE EXERCISE OUR Social-Emotional self by Making Consistent Daily Deposits Into The Emotional Bank Accounts of Our Key Relationships.
This is the single most powerful investment we can ever make in life-investment in ourselves, in the only instrument we have with which to deal with life and to contribute. Yet when people get busy producing, or sawing, they seldom take time to Sharpen The Saw Because Maintenance Seldom Pays Dramatic, Immediate Dividends.
This daily Private Victory is the key to the development of the Seven Habits, and it's completely within our control. Renewal is the principle and the process that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.
Seven Habits Overview / Seven Habits Organizer
Things you do to Sharpen the Saw in any one dimension have a positive impact in other dimensions because they are so highly interrelated Your physical health affects your mental health;. Your spiritual strength affections your social / emotional strength As you improve in one dimension,. You Increase Your Ability In Other Dimensions As Well.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People create optimum synergy among these dimensions. Renewal in any dimension increases your ability to live at least one of the Seven Habits. And although the habits are sequential, improvements in one habit synergetically increases your ability to live the rest .
Suppose You Were To Come Upon Some IN The Woods Working Feverishly To Saw Down A Tree.
"What are you doing?" You ask.
"Can't you see?" Comes the impatient reply. "" You LOOK EXHAUSTED! "YOU EXCLAIM." How long Have you been at it? "
"Over Five Hours," He Returns, "and i'm beat! This is hard work."
"Well, why don't you take a break for a few?" You Inquire. "I'm Sure It Would Go A Lot Faster."
"I don't have time to sharpen the saw," The man says emphasical. "I'm Too Bussy Saping."
Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, Page 287
............
Most of US Think We don't have a distorted paradigm! We don't have it. We're Talking About three to Six Hours a week-or one Other day. That hardly seems an inordinate amount of time considering the tremendous benefits in Terms of the impact on the other 162-165 Hours of the week.
I Was in a Gym One Time with a Friend of Mine Who Has a ph.d. in Exercise Physiology. He asked me to "spot" HIM While He Did Some Bench Presses and Told Me At a Certain Point He'd Ask Me To Take The Weight. "But don't take it." He Said Firmly.
SO i Watched and Waited and Prepared to Take The Weight. The Weight Went Up and Down, Up and Down. And I Could See It Begin To Get Harder. But He Kept Going. He Would Start To Push IT Up and I'd Think "There's no way he's going to make it it." But He'd Make it..... UP and Down, Up and Down.Final, As i LOOKED AT HIS FACE , straining with the effort, his blood vessels practically jumping out of his skin, I thought, "This is going to fall and collapse his chest. Maybe I should take the weight. Maybe he's lost control and he does not even know what he's "But He'd get it safely down. The He'd Start Back Up Again. I COULDN '' Believe IT.
When He Finally Told Me To Take The Weight, I SAID, "Why Did You Wait So Long?"
"Almost all the benefit of the exercise comes at the very end, Stephen," he replied. "I'm trying to build strength. And that does not happen until the muscle fiber ruptures and the nerve fiber registers the pain. Then nature Overcompensates and thein 48 Hours, The Fiber is Made Stronger. "
I could see his point. It's the same principle that works with emotional muscles as well, such as patience. When you exercise your patience beyond your past limits, the emotional fiber is broken, nature overcompensates, and next time the fiber is stronger.
The seven habits of highly effective people, pages 289-291
.....
Perhaps you are familiar with the musical, Man of La Mancha. It's a beautiful story about a medieval knight who meets a woman of the street, a prostitute. She's being validated in her lifestyle by all of the people in her life.But this poet knight sees something else in her, something beautiful and lovely. He also sees her virtue, and he affirms it, over and over again. He gives her a new name-Dulcinea-a new name associated with a new paradigm.
At first, she utterly denies it; her old scripts are overpowering She writes him off as a wild-eyed fantasizer But he is persistent He makes continual deposits of unconditional love and gradually it penetrates her scripting It goes down into her true.... Nature, Her Potential, And She Starts To Respond. Little By Little, She Begins To Change Her Life-Style. She Believes It and She Acts from Her New Paradigm, To The Initial Dismay of Everyone else.
Later, When She Begins to Revert to Her to His Deathbed and Sings That Beautiful Song, "The Impossible Dream," Looks Her in The Eyes, And Whispers, "Never Forget, You're Dulcinea."
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Page 300
Continuing surveys indicate that television is on in most homes some 35 to 45 hours a week. That's as much time as many people put into their jobs, more than most put into school. It's the most powerful socializing influence there is. And when we watch We're Subject To All The Values That Are Being Taught Through It. That Can PowerFully Influence US in Very Subtle and Imperceptible Ways.
In our family, we limit television watching to around seven hours a week, an average of about an hour a day. We had a family council at which we talked about it and looked at some of the data regarding what's happening in homes because of television . We found that by discussing it as a family when no one was defensive or argumentative, people started to realize the dependent sickness of becoming addicted to soap operas or to a steady diet of a particular program.I'm grateful for television and for the many high quality educational and entertainment programs. They can enrich our lives and contribute meaningfully to our purposes and goals. But there are many programs that simply waste our time and minds and many that influence us in negative ways if we let them. Like the body ........................
. Education-continuing education, continually honing and expanding the mind-is vital mental renewal sometimes that involves the external discipline of the classroom or systematized study programs;. More often it does not Proactive people can figure out many, many ways to educate themselves.
The seven habits of highly effect person, page 295
The spiritual dimension is your core, your center, your commitment to your value system. It's a very private area of life and a supremely important one. It draws upon the sources that inspire and uplift you and tie you to the timeless truths of all humanity And people do it Very, Very DifferenTly.
Arthur Gordon shares a wonderful, intimate story of his own spiritual renewal in a little story called ". The Turn of the Tide" It tells of a time in his life when he began to feel that everything was stale and flat His enthusiasm waned.; his writing efforts were fruitless. And the situation was growing worse day by day.Finally, he determined to get help from a medical doctor. Observing nothing physically wrong, the doctor asked him if he would be able to follow his instructions for one day.
When Gordon replied that he could, the doctor told him to spend the following day in the place where he was happiest as a child. He could take food, but he was not to talk to anyone or to read or write or listen to the radio . He THEN WROTE OUT FOUR PRESCRIPTIONS AND TOLD HIM To Open ONE AT NINE, TWELVE, Three, And Six O'Clock.
"Are you serious?" Gordon asked him.
"You Won't think i'm JOKING WHEN You get my bill!" WAS the reply.
So the next morning, Gordon went to the beach. As he opened the first prescription, he read "Listen carefully." He thought the doctor was insane. How could he listen for three hours? But he had agreed to follow the doctor's orders, so he listened. He heard the usual sounds of the sea and the birds. After a while, he could hear the other sounds that were not so apparent at first. As he listened, he began to think of lessons the sea had taught him As a child-patience, respect, an awfulness of the interdepender of things. He Began to listen to the Sounds-and the sales - and to feel.
At noon, he opened the second slip of paper and read "Try reaching back." "Reaching back to what?" He wondered. Perhaps to childhood, perhaps to memories of happy times. He thought about his past, about the many little moments of joy. He tried to remember them with exactness. And in remembering, he found a growing warmth inside.At three o'clock, he opened the third piece of paper. Until now, the prescriptions had been easy to take. But this one was different; ". Examine your motives". it said At first he was defensive He thought about what he wanted-success, recognition, security, and he justified them all But then the thought occurred to him that those motives were not good. ENOUGH, AND THAT Perhaps the the answer to his stagnant situation.
He Considered His Motives Deeply. He Thought About Past Happiness. And at Last, The Answer Came To Him.
"In a flash of certainty," he wrote, "I saw that if one's motives are wrong, nothing can be right. It makes no difference whether you are a mailman, a hairdresser, an insurance salesman, a housewife-whatever. As long As you feel you are serving others, you do the job service. When you are concerned, you do it less Well-a law asse inexorable as gravity.
When six o'clock came, the final prescription did not take long to fill "Write your worries on the sand," it said He knelt and wrote several words with a piece of broken shell;.. Then he turned and walked away. He Didn't look back; He Knew the Tide Would Come IN.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Pages 292-294
